1. < Caregivers: Dementia

I think my hubby has dementia

Posted by birtchie @birtchie, Sep 19 6:06pm

I think my hubby has dementia, I’m not sure if it’s alcohol induced as he’s an alcoholic, he forgets things constantly and it’s when he’s sober, his mother had dementia and she was not a drinker, I just don’t know how to deal with it, he won’t stop drinking and his memory is getting worse, HELP I’m getting very depressed

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Scott R L | @scottrl | Sep 19 8:04pm

This has got to be really tough. You have my sympathy.

You don't mention his age, but I knew a guy who was like that in his 40s. He became very forgetful and increasingly incoherent. Eventually, he lost his job. It was sad, as he had been brilliant in his younger years.

He passed away at 53, from cirrhosis of the liver. His problem hadn't been dementia, just alcoholism. He never admitted he had a problem.

I hope your husband will come to his senses and seek help.

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Sep 19 9:40pm

@birtchie This must be so terrible for you! Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. (I think I did that backwards. I’m sorry. Has your husband seen a doctor previously about the alcoholism? Do you think he would go now? His doctor may have some suggestions for you. And you may want to contact Alcoholics Anonymous to see what they suggest. Here is info about Al-Anon which is for families:
“The only requirement for membership is that you have been affected by someone's drinking. Even though most of our meetings are held in churches, Al-Anon is not a religious program and does not endorse or promote any particular form of religion. Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics.”
You can probably just google al-Anon. This group has some wonderful advice and hints on caring for someone with dementia. Feel free to read any and all of the discussions!

REPLY
birtchie | @birtchie | Sep 20 4:46pm
In reply to @scottrl "This has got to be really tough. You have my sympathy. You don't mention his age,..." + (show)
@scottrl

This has got to be really tough. You have my sympathy.

You don't mention his age, but I knew a guy who was like that in his 40s. He became very forgetful and increasingly incoherent. Eventually, he lost his job. It was sad, as he had been brilliant in his younger years.

He passed away at 53, from cirrhosis of the liver. His problem hadn't been dementia, just alcoholism. He never admitted he had a problem.

I hope your husband will come to his senses and seek help.

Jump to this post

Hubby is 71 years old and has RA and is on all kinds of drugs for his RA….he should not even drink period on those RA drugs

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1 reply
Scott R L | @scottrl | Sep 21 2:22pm
In reply to @birtchie "Hubby is 71 years old and has RA and is on all kinds of drugs for..." + (show)
@birtchie

Hubby is 71 years old and has RA and is on all kinds of drugs for his RA….he should not even drink period on those RA drugs

Jump to this post

I'm very sorry to hear of it.

I am not a doctor and don't know anything about those drugs, but in general I believe the cumulative effects of medication can be unpredictable and dangerous. Combined with alcohol, things can get very dicey, as you're experiencing.

Does he give any reasons for drinking? Ever since I had a stroke nearly six years ago, I have been in constant pain, and sometimes I have the temptation to self-medicate with a drink or two. Is he maybe in a lot of pain? Or depressed?

I presume he at least sees a doctor regularly, since he's getting prescription medications. Can you chat with his doctor(s) to see what they can suggest?

Whatever his issues, it's no excuse to take it out on you.

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