I need help/ alcohol

I think that most of us feel anger and self hatred when we find ourselves a victim of addiction…I don’t want to lay down a bunch of helpful things to help you with your problem. The main focus is on where to go from here, and yes you are here and that can only mean you are looking for help, this is a beginning for you and it doesn’t matter if you have tried to get help before, this is your first step here and be prepared to get lots of people who want to help you, it goes both ways because we share with each other. I am glad you’re here and I look forward to hearing how you’re feeling and what progress you are making, give yourself a big hug for making this happen.

@cjbeek37
You have already taken first step of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

There are many options to get help from free local support groups like AA to treatment facilities. If not sure what is available in your state / area, check out SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
Check out https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

Is there anyone you can talk to about getting help in your area?

I have been where you are. It is a feeling of hopelessness, but I can tell you that I got sober at 47 after 4 times in rehab. I was going to die. This disease kills. I found my life partner, who could not stop, dead a week before Christmas. He was 56 years old. He just couldn't stop. Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life. If you need help with withdrawal, contact your doctor and tell them your situation. They are not allowed to tell anyone. All you have to do is not drink or use one minute, hour, day at a time. What is key is to realize that you will never be able to control it. I do not know you, but I know that statement as I have lived it. Reach out if you need to.

If you think about it you don’t really HATE yourself, you HATE the disease of alcoholism. And there’s a lot to HATE about it. But hating it won’t get you anywhere. I agree wholeheartedly with the rest of the people commenting here: Google “Alcoholics Anonymous meetings near me” and go to one within 24 hours. They’ll ask if anyone is at the meeting for the first time, and you say YES, and tell them you’re an alcoholic and you need help. It’s amazing. You will have never felt so loved in your life, and people will embrace you, literally and figuratively, and will open the door to a pretty decent life that you could not have imagined, if you want it. If it so happens that that first meeting doesn’t work for you, try another. Everybody’s different. Good luck and let us know how you’re doing.

In the rooms is an easy to join online support group for people struggling with addiction to alcohol or other substances. They have over 130 meetings each week. You don't have to participate if you don't want. You can just listen.

cjbeek, where do you live?

na.org will lead you to narcotics anonymous meeting world wide. NA deals with addiction. Not just drugs, even though alcohol is a drug. It is where I found recovery.

Go to A.A.; it works. Tell people you need help, like you did here. Before going to A.A., nothing worked for me.

A.A. didn't give me my life back; it gave me a new and better one. All the members in the halls I sat in raised me and taught me what I needed to know to live a sober life.

You are not defective. You are ill. Please seek help just as you would for any illness.

I hope you live in peace and good health.

@cjbeek37 Hi CJ. Welcome to the family.

Thankfully I never started drinking. One less thing to overcome. I'd guess that many addictions develop gradually, and often are connected with other life problems. Oh boy, do I understand standing in front of the mirror telling the man in the mirror "I hate you! You're a total fraud!" I was becoming addicted to seeing myself that way, and then addicted to thoughts of ending my life. Self hatred and suicidal ideation are hard to get past. Every addiction usually takes time to overcome, and recovery starts when we realize what it's doing to our lives and people around us, sometimes looking up from the bottom of a deep hole. Desperation is a strong motivator.

Please accept our support and our prayers and concern. Do tell us more about the feelings going through your mind, and what you're doing for yourself.

Jim - another struggler