Celebrating the holidays differently. What gift can you give yourself?

Posted by MGMolly @Erinmfs, Dec 19, 2020

I’m not old, but then I am, I qualify for AARP! I thought I’d get myself a Christmas gift, I just received an setup an Apple Homepod. I live alone, and now I can talk to Siri for company! I just asked Siri to play the News, and heard from NPR, and now Siri picked out some Christmas music, that I wouldn’t normally hear! Siri played the Temptations! What fun gift are you giving or receiving this year?

@contentandwell

@cindiwass I never thought I would live to be 73, my current age. My father passed away when he was 64, my mother when she was 67. They were 50 and 40 when I was born so I was still in HS when my father died and in my 20s when my mother did. Since this was typical for her whole family I just figured I too would die when I was in my 60s. Surprise, surprise, I'm still here, as is my sister who is 3 years older than I am. My brothers are both gone but they made it into their 70s too.

@becsbuddy Thanks, Becky. These sound delicious. I have a recipe for coconut snowballs that is good too, using white chocolate. We had a caterer once for a large event here and that one of the desserts he brought. I loved them so he gave me the recipe, but these sound even easier!

@fiesty76 Thank you for your condolences.
I also believe that we have to remember to treat each person well, we don't know what they are going through or have been through that day.
I was walking up the aisle in a drugstore once and a man who passed me said "you could at least smile" – this was out of the blue. I didn't know him, he was a well-dressed man, but who was he to say that to me? He had no idea why I might not have looked happy.

@Erinmfs California is a beautiful state but it sure does have its drawbacks. My son lived there from 2004 until 2018 and now lives in Denver. For him, it was the high cost of owning property but I think he is happy being in Denver, fewer natural disasters there, plus he is an avid skier, and his wife is an avid snowboarder.

@merpreb @nannette1941 I think these days many of us are in a funk, on some days. I sure know I am. I think we can take anything for a certain amount of time but this has gone on for way too long. I actually predicted at the very beginning that it would last for a very long time, and wondered if I would ever see my son in Denver again since seeing him requires a flight and I do not want him taking the risk of flying here. We will see how the vaccine helps but so many are not planning to take it that we will never reach "community immunity" and for us who are on immunosuppressants that's a problem since even if/when our transplant teams say yes to us taking it, it will be less effective on us. I have read it will be about 60% effective so I suspect I will be wearing a mask for the remainder of my life.

When I find myself in a funk though about staying home and going literally nowhere except for isolated walks, I try to remind myself of what people over the years have endured. I have read a number of books about the Jewish experience during WW2 and how horrible that must have been. That helps me to realize that I live in a nice home, we have plenty of food to eat, and so far my husband and I are both doing OK, healthwise.
JK

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Hi @jk. Very touching. I never imagined I'd live this long. My uncle was a doctor but he smoked, had stress, and died youngish of a heart attack. My mother always served nutritious meals. I try to eat well but push the barrier sometimes. I am overweight, lost about 30 lbs and need to keep going but it's hard. Still I try and keep praying for help to control myself. Not easy. As far as the man who told you that you could smile, I'm thinking maybe he liked your looks. Or… maybe he was nuts.

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@sueinmn

One of the gifts I gave myself last year, and am continuing now, is the right to sit or lie down when my body tells me to. I have decided not to try to be superwoman any more.

I'm retired, my kids are raised, and what needs doing can (usually) wait or tomorrow. If I need time off, I take it. My health is doing much better since I stopped pushing so hard. I always remember my Dad, in his retirement, saying the workday ends at 3pm except in an emergency, and I try very hard to be done by 4pm most days.

My daughters tend to be hard-driving as well – until they collapse and get ill, angry, depressed, – hmm, wonder where they learned to do that? So now, whenever I can, I take "little loads" from them – a little load of laundry, a delivered meal or two, a few hours watching kids, running a few errands. Both of them are very appreciative. And I have begun to talk more about not trying to do it all and how taking care of themselves is a gift to everyone.

This past week we have been helping our daughter with a (very) unplanned move. She wanted to accomplish everything by Friday, with only Dad's and my help due to Covid fears. We were able to help out with a longer term truck rental, and will now finish on Tuesday or Wednesday – and none of us has gotten totally worn out, sick or injured by trying to do it all at once.

Sue

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I like the idea of smiling. Even with the masks, people can see if you're smiling. So I'm going to work on it. Someone was so kind to me in a store today. I couldn't find an outlet at a Goodwill to test an item, she saw my dilemma and offered to plug it in a nearby outlet. She was a customer. I thought that was so nice.

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@robin615

Surely the biggest gift you can give yourself is within yourself? Take time-out to reflect on your own positivities, your own gifts from life, your specific family and friends, your decisions made and what you have learned from them. What have you learned about yourself? What do your friends see in you? What made happy times be happy times. We can each draw from these. What will our grandchildren say about your qualities? Why not start your family time capsule with, and for, them? Do not dwell within yourself but take a time-out visit there now and then. Do not wall in the echoes of yesterday but do listen to them. Having lost my wondrous wife I found that life still moves on. She moved through life with a forcefield of grace and compassion. I still gain learn from my reflections as reflection upon those beyond our self still live within our self. We may feel we move through life in single file but, in reality, we can draw from ourselves and those who have love and friendship for us on that journey.

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@robin15, What a wise and moving post you shared. This could be one of those shares that would be valuable as a "save" and re-read over time for all.

Both my mother and closest friend were role models of non-complaining acceptance, grace, and positivity as their health declined. Only recently have I become able to reflect on "what made happy times be happy times" following the death of my closest friend 6 mos ago. My sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved, inspirational wife.

Thanks to you for this meaningful post.

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@cindiwass

Hi @jk. Very touching. I never imagined I'd live this long. My uncle was a doctor but he smoked, had stress, and died youngish of a heart attack. My mother always served nutritious meals. I try to eat well but push the barrier sometimes. I am overweight, lost about 30 lbs and need to keep going but it's hard. Still I try and keep praying for help to control myself. Not easy. As far as the man who told you that you could smile, I'm thinking maybe he liked your looks. Or… maybe he was nuts.

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@cindiwass He was dressed as a businessman, a suit with a top coat and looked very business like but I think he was just nuts.
Thanks for the smile.
JK

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@Erinmfs

Hi Merry! over the holidays, I found my way to your blog! I'm so very impressed, you've inspired me to do something similar. I've been trying to figure out what to call it. That plus it made me think back to my time that I've spent on the West coast. Why oh Why did I move from there to here? earthquakes and fires! I loved a conference that we had in Boston one time, I was a Legal Seafood fan back then, we travelled to Maine and we had lobsters from Maine! Boy, those folks from Maine are interesting, they didn't say much back then, and those Maine'rs had a reputation for that ­čÖé

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@Erinmfs Maine is a different state in that way, but southern Maine is less so. I live in southern NH and both southern Maine and southern NH now have so many transplants from Massachusetts that have changed the character of the states a lot. For me, that's a good thing.

Where are you living now? I love New England, I can't imagine living anywhere else.
JK

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