How to tell my children that our Aunt has dementia? We just found out.

I'm guessing the children will not feel overwhelmed if you don't burden them with the "diagnosis". They dont have the knowledge or experience that makes you feel overwhelmed. Just address any questions as they come up as simply and straightforwardly as possible. I wish you well. Sharon

Hi @yogalady47, I'm sorry about your aunt. Learning about the dementia of a loved one is devastating. I've been through it twice, with my dad, and now, my husband.

I found this article, which I thought was pretty good:

There are a number of articles on the topic, which a search on Google will bring up.

My suggestion is stay calm yourself, learn all you can about the disease, and think of yourself as a guide to your children and aunt. They're lucky to have you.

Teri, your words and that article are strengthening and helpful. I'm sorry you went through the experience twice. What do you say when the children ask, "Is it contagious? Will it happen to you, Mom?" How do you teach the children what questions to ask and not to ask their aunt? Should the aunt know that the children know? Thank you.

Hi, @yogalady47 In our case, as with the ages of your children, our messaging was different based on that. One-size explanation definitely did not fit all in our family. Our youngest were just told she was sick and it affected how she could think.

Dementia is not contagious, so that one's easy. Personally, but just me, I'd not worry them unnecessarily with any prognostications on what might happen to others. None of us know after all what our futures hold.

Again, just personally, but I'd have a talk with their aunt asking her if she has any particular way she'd like this explained. My wife had some very meaningful discussions with youngsters about her disease in its early stages when she still could.

As far as questions, I always went with the mantra "Kids will be kids". My wife never got upset with any questions asked by the youngsters. She saw those times as learning opportunities and we saw a great deal of empathy develop in them as a result.

Again...just our experiences.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

Hi @lindakbe, @IndianaScott provided a great answer below, which I really can't add anything to. Take care, Teri