How to ease grief headache?

Posted by aliali @aliali, May 23, 2019

How to ease grief headache? My dad passed 18 days ago and I am still exhausted. Dizziness and headache are also experienced. Why do not I see my doctor? His schedule is very busy!

ask him if he can squeeze you in…. perhaps a cancellation.

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@IndianaScott

Hi @aliali

My wife was diagnosed with brain cancer at the age of 49. She fought her war for over 14 years. We were married for 41 years and had two children. I was my wife's caregiver for all those years and after being fired from my dream job was her fulltime caregiver for the last 5 years of her fight. She was also in home hospice care for her final 14 months. While she was an incredible warrior, her disease took a horrific toll on her and was far more brutal than anything I could have ever imagined.

She has been gone two years now and my emotions are still very raw. I cry a lot more than I used to, I'm more cynical about life, struggle with even small disappointments, and miss her every single day, Right now is a particularly challenging time of year in that we have, in rapid succession, Mother's Day, both our children's birthdays, her birthday, our anniversary, and then the anniversary of her death. I struggle with finding a new way in my life, but fight that by keeping an ongoing list of things 'to do' that keep me focused on the future. Some are chore types of things, some are simply to write a friend a note, call an old friend, visit someone, or often to write, which I find quite therapeutic.

I found Connect when I was feeling extremely isolated and worn out from caregiving and appreciated the ability to talk openly about her experiences as well as mine as a caregiver. I actually was the one who convinced them to begin a Caregivers discussion group.

I view my grief as a new companion in my life. It will always be with me and while I wouldn't say I 'embrace' it, I also do not try and ignore it, sugarcoat it, or pretend it isn't a part of me now. I also found no help in the grief books I read. I quickly realized they were simply one writer's view on grief and not some panacea for others as they are often touted to be. I remember the day I took the book on the 'stages of grief' and hurled it into our garbage can. Best thing I did 🙂

Everyone's journey in grief is different and our grief is as unique as we are as human beings and as was the person we loved, lost, and miss. While I offer no road map for others, I am willing to talk about my journey if it helps.

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when we love we are bound to grieve at some point. My sweet hubby died in 2010 . Miss him terribly. My beloved grandson has become mentally ill & angry. Daughter is recovering from a stroke…at 38. I wake feeling empty most days . I take 1 day at a time and hope my grandson will improve before I am gone. e deserves a happy peaceful life Its cruel to see him go thru this. at just 22 yrs old.

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@lioness

@IndianaScott I'm sorry for your lost I lost my husband in 12-2-2000 I don't like that holiday spend it quietly but my son does have me over the night before Time heals but there are moments

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Thank God for your son & family to help you recover

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Aliali
So sad to hear about your Dad. I lost both my Mom and Dad 12 years ago. So sorry.
Im dealing horribly now with grief. We lost our daughter, suddenly June 3. I do need support and friends.
Heres what happened:
……………………………………….
I just returned from our girls week at 8pm on June 2 and talked to my husband about what fun our daughter and I had that week. Every year I visit her for girls week. At 6:15am that very next morning our son in law called us. We immediately, in shock packed and drove to Ohio ( we live in SC). Our daughter didnt make it to the hospital. I still cant believe shes gone. We are lost, empty and feel its all surreal.
Our daughter was generally fine, however she was taking Tamoxifin which has several bad side effects, worse of which is blood clots, which is what happened.
She was taking it for a year and her doctor only saw her twice. She also had other side effects, etc. I will write more later. We need help dealing. She was our only sweet child, a teacher and LOVED by everyone. She was amazing and was involved in many charities, projects, always giving, loving, helped everyone with anything, kind, people loved her.
We cant deal with this well; cant believe shes gone. We have no family here in SC (Hilton Head area). Not many friends ( they all work, we are retired) so its tough. Her school had a beautiful tribute to her by having a concert, a parade and candle-prayer Virgil. Hundreds of cards were received by us when we came home. I miss my sweet daughter so bad. We cry every day, just sick! Please help. My friend, Terri Martin who also belongs to Mayo Clinic Connect suggested I seek help with Mayo Clinic. Terri is wonderful!
Thank you.
Our daughter just “celebrated”
(July 28) her 15th Wedding Anniversary in Heaven. Yesterday, Aug 1 was her 46th birthday. Help!

Days are bad, I feel empty but still do the necessary stuff…..cook and clean! I feel lost.
Yesterday, Sept 10 I had a horrific day. It was as if I just remembered Kirs was gone. I went crazy and cried all day. Yeah, all day. The crying gave me a headache a d I felt nothing…just missed Kirs and could not believe she was gone. I just saw her it seemed.
My husband tried to help but I still chocked up and cried.
Today is better but the horrible void is hell. She lived in Ohio ( where I am from) and we live near Hilton Head. We didnt see each other as often as we both wished. ( Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break). Talked on phone often. She was my best friend, my heart and soul. I did visit every year for 10 days; our fun long girls week.
Seems theres no help for people in our situation.

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