How to deal with my parents visits?
I'm an adult, married with a teenage kids. One about to go to college. As long as I have lived apart from my parents, I didn't want to stay long when I came back home. I would leave early go back to school. Now every time they visit I feel anxiety and shut down. When they leave I feel sad.
My mom talks to everyone about nothing that makes any sense to anyone. But she doesn't say much to me. My dad doesn't say much period. My kids and my wife notice how I change when they are around. No one likes it.
When they visit, sometimes they stay at a hotel and sometimes they stay here. If we aren't doing anything they sit on the couch not saying anything. I don't really know what to say to them either so I don't say anything. My wife finds herself doing most of the talking. My wife is annoyed with them everytime they visit and we both can't wait until they leave.
I had a messed up childhood. Can't say it was my parents fault. I didn't tell them what was going on. My therapist says they didn't pay enough attention to me.
I love them. They are my parents. I don't want to go into this state when they visit. How do I change? They aren't going to change. How do we make these visits better? How do I not let them get me so down?