How to deal with aging anxiety?

@grahmilou When I retired, I thought about what I wanted out of the rest of my life and came up with the idea that I wanted to be happy. Well, I then thought about what things make me happy and realized that being with happy people makes me happy, so I decided to try to make other people happy. I've been retired for about 20 years, and it seems to have worked as the people I hang out with seem to be happy.

@dmbwa99362

Three ideas that might help:

Writing. Not writing with a particular goal. I also recommend writing with pen and paper. No judgement on what you are writing just the open hearted willingness to discover more.

Meditation: a simple mindfulness meditation 20 minutes per day can calm the mind jabber.or monkey mind as some who meditate say.

Tea: sometimes those thoughts can be painful, frightening and we want to push them away. Instead, befriend them. Invite them in for "tea". Be curious about them as you would be about a new person, experience or opportunity. Not easy but who knows what might be revealed as helpful or comforting.

@gravity3
I second the mediation and journaling part. Meditation calms my brain and helps me focus and journaling helps me document what is really important to me. 68 and in remission with prostate cancer

@dmbwa99362 well, I’m 80 and don’t have time/energy to worry about how much time…just want to make it good without the burden if trying to impress anyone. Cancer has a way of teaching these things—but you don’t have to get cancer ! to let go of the worries…try to focus on any little thing that brings joy….when you do that, it adds up and you can enjoy more of your life.

I share many of the concerns expressed by so many commentators. At 79, I've survived a stroke, two heart attacks, knee replacement and 3 years of CRPS (chronic, intense pain) -- I've dealt with a lot. Currently managing 3 heart conditions, 2 serious joint issues, and most recently, GI problems. When the GI started, I felt it really unfair to have three body systems out of whack simultaneously. Where my situation differs from many of you is that I'm a card-carrying atheist, so religious support doesn't work for me. (I do pay dues and participate in a religious community...just for fellowship and socialization.) What does bring me real comfort is participating in Dignitas, the nonprofit organization in Switzerland which provides assistance in dying. I'm trying to follow Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel's tenet of "nothing invasive after 70," (except for getting broken leg from skiing set)...but each new issue poses existential challenge. I've been living alone for 30+ years, and have major stress from alienated adult child who lives nearby. All this said, so long as I have enough resources for a trip to Forch (one round trip ticket for my nephew; one one-way for me)...I hope I never experience prolonged suffering. Something to look ito, perhaps. Thank you for sharing your concerns in this forum. Nice to know there are lots of us facing these issues!

I’m 84. Each morning I say “May I be happy. May I be safe. May I be healthy and live life with ease. May I be compassionate to myself and others. And may we all experience joy and wellbeing. “

At 60, a new doc asked me how I thought I wanted to spend my next 20 years. Without thinking, I flashed him a look!! I have always been rather anxious and a worrier, sorry to say, but it came with the territory. Even so, at 60, I felt great and believed that I had at least 20 years, if not many more, to live a full life, by my standard anyway, which was work, exercise, a few very close friends, music, my small family, etc. A simple life.
I had tons of energy, much more like a 35-40 yr old. So I was taken by surprise by his question. I guess he saw the look on my face because he changed he subject quickly.

When I approached 70, I was still very energetic, but had some limitations, osteoporosis for one, which changed my life quite a bit and my vigorous exercise program! I didn't really feel differently, but I so dreaded turning 70, it did become an obsession. When the day came, I was not happy. Something snapped in me, though, a few months in, and I just accepted my age and decided if I could keep going as I was, I might make it another 20 yrs without major illness or death. I was always more youthful mentally and physically than my age on paper would dictate. I decided to take healthy risks more than before, embrace and accept what came my way instead of expecting bad things.

Now, I'm 76, and for the last couple of years am, like you, obsessed with the future. For me, ruminating about illness and death are my most common demons. I am unable to find enough purposeful and fulfilling things to do that remove me from my dark thoughts of the future. I've tried many things and am involved in groups and classes almost every day but reality is what it is and after an hour or so of focusing on something else, I'm back to illness and death and what to do if my husband pre-deceases me. It would be a mess. We have no close friends, I have very little family and though he has family, I don't feel close enough to them to ask for help. Very scary. That preys on me so badly. We know our neighbors but they too, are older, and we are not close. We've been here 5 yrs and meeting friends has not been possible. In the burbs', where we lived forever, I felt safe. But my husband won as he was inconsolably miserable and had to get away from the traffic and noise. Now, we're stuck in a house in the boonies which is becoming far too much for us. He is younger, and of course, was very confident that he'd do ti all. LOL. Now he has chronic back problems galore, pain in his legs, etc. He will not move to a condo and in our area, all over 55's are high rises.

I need but can't find a competent therapist who will take ins and can't afford the 300+/hr out of pocket - stated just in case someone suggests it.

Not looking for help here, just letting you know you are not alone AND you are only 60!!!!! Try to enjoy these years. Revel in your good health and the things you can still do with ease and energy. It worked for me for a decade and a bigger worry wart has never walked this earth!!! Best to you, my young friend.