How to deal with aging anxiety?

@dmbwa99362
I am about your age, and have had the same pressing thoughts. Plus, I am 24/7 carer for my 94 year old father—a front row seat to the indignities of aging. So, there is no escaping! Plus, I am pretty isolated (care requires it), and have limited freedom right now over my own schedule/life. Everything is about going to doctors, med schedules, his bodily functions, etc etc—I’ll spare you the gory details! But besides worrying and feeling for him, there is that constant niggling thought in the back (and sometimes front) of my brain—that’s going to be you soon….!
As a Christ follower, I am finding it helpful to spend more time in the Bible and prayer. Jesus promises to never leave us or forsake us. I have to keep my eye on that. He never promises to take away the scary things—sometimes He does, sometimes He doesn’t. I have found grace where I really didn’t expect it (but of course, should have!)! This year I started a new journal and rather than venting my fears and frustrations in it, as I have journals before (and then shredded because I do not want to leave behind that legacy if something happens to me), I have a goal of recording things I am grateful for, prayers and answers to prayers. I am hoping that that will help keep my mind on positive things rather than negative. It is a constant human battle—this mind set. (But I have also found it helpful to vent feelings in a journal without censor. It’s just at this point I feel like it will be good for me to focus on the positives. I’m no PollyAnna, my mind is constantly looking at worse case and strategizing…). I love what others have written about health goals, helping others, noticing beauty around us. None of us know when our time here will be up (my younger brother died unexpectedly last year—surreal). I never thought I would be bothered by this, but I sure get where you are coming from. There is so much I still want to see and do in this world, even if the next promises to be even better! If you are the same, and are free do to them—go for it!!! Blessings, we are all in this together!

Oh! Also, there are other threads under this heading—like “please list three things you appreciate about aging,” and “how do you change the perception of aging”—I probably don’t have the exact wording correct, but look for those. There are some really inspiring responses. There is one woman who is 91 and still driving, cognitively strong and independent! Who knows…..? (And sorry this is so long—I did say I am pretty isolated…..haha!)

@babbsjoy I appreciate your post. Thx. I hope you have some help in care giving so you can get a few hours out to enjoy something special. If I were close to you I would volunteer a day of help frequently. I’m in Hudson valley ny

@grahmilou
How kind! Thank you. Nope, I am far away from you in the south, but I really am touched! And, I have a bit of freedom in that when he isn’t ill, Dad can be left for short periods with a medical alert and phone while I go to the grocery store or something—especially if I time it during his usual afternoon nap (he does not have dementia). And my husband (who still works) often on weekends offers to keep an ear out so I can do something (I’ll be going to the grocery in a few minutes!), especially when my daughter is in town. While home, Dad doesn’t require constant attention either, at least right now—so I have it easier than many I have read about!

@dmbwa99362 well, I’m 80 and don’t have time/energy to worry about how much time…just want to make it good without the burden if trying to impress anyone. Cancer has a way of teaching these things—but you don’t have to get cancer ! to let go of the worries…try to focus on any little thing that brings joy….when you do that, it adds up and you can enjoy more of your life.

@gravity3 same where I live here in NV. Our governor has vetoed passage of death with dignity twice. Why are you considering Dignitas/Switzerland? Wouldn't Oregon and Vermont (they except out of state people) be an easier flight and closer to you?

@kisu

I'm not there yet but dignitas does not require a hospice designation.

@gravity3 I'm not there yet either but I feel better knowing and understanding all my options.
"Oregon's Death with Dignity Act (DWDA) does not require a hospice designation to use the law. Patients can self-administer lethal medications without being enrolled in hospice care."
I do think the state still follows the 'most likely to die in 6 months' rule, though.

I heard this years ago, and it helps me get perspective when I am worrying too much about getting older and life issues :
Life is but a
Life is but a
Melancholy flower
Melancholy flower,
Life is but a lemon
Life is but a lemon
Cauliflower
Cauliflower

Try to look around you and notice one thing a day which is beautiful and uplifting. I live in Australia, and at the moment the Jacaranda trees are in full flower. Masses of purple flowers like clouds reaching up to the sky. I have ALS and have plenty to worry about, but noticing the world around and seeking out little things in life which are special is my way of coping with what life has dealt me. I understand what you must be going through, but the way I cope is to live life one day at a time, valuing the people who are kind to me and enjoying
the little things in life. In Australia it is summer, and I am looking forward to a long, delicious drink of cold water. I wish you all the best. @ellu

@kisu

Thanks for the clarification on that. S

@grahmilou When I retired, I thought about what I wanted out of the rest of my life and came up with the idea that I wanted to be happy. Well, I then thought about what things make me happy and realized that being with happy people makes me happy, so I decided to try to make other people happy. I've been retired for about 20 years, and it seems to have worked as the people I hang out with seem to be happy.