How to Cope when Dealing with CPS taking your child?

Posted by gigliojess89 @gigliojess89, Dec 9 12:57pm

How am i supposed to be able to stay sober when my child is being taken care of by a complete stranger and i know i could do a way better job than the foster parent is. It literally makes me depressed and just want to get high because when i did show progress, caseworker didnt really seem to care at all. I feel like every time i am getting closer they give another 3 things i have to do to get my daughter back . i didnt even get a chance at all. they should atleast give you a chance to show you can do it but they instead just take your child, kick you a bunch of times by saying all these terrible things they think to be true just because you use drugs and make you feel 2 inches tall and expect you to be sober and stay sober while your child is somewhere else with a stranger in an unknown place where you have no choice but to constantly worry if they are actually being properly cared for. You gave birth to that child, your blood runs through that childs veins, you are the only person who will ever love that child as much as you do . Why not even get a chance? Just tearing families apart is easier than trying to keep them together with supervision??? They pay these foster parents so what is to say they even care about your child. They just want that check every month...... Real parents dont get a paycheck to care for there children they do it because they love them and always will. CPS Caseworkers are paid, Judges, Lawyers, Caregivers, ALL Get a pay check, Who doesnt get paid???? The Parent , and the child whose life is turned upside down and most of the time its uncalled for. the first go to is to take the child out of the home..... Why ? because it would be too much for them to check up on the ones they let stay home?... Not every Drug User is completely useless and Not every drug user puts there drug before everything in life. Stereotyping is bad right ???? So why is it okay to do with this? Dont judge someone by what it says on a piece of paper.... CPS destroys more familys then they help and its because they have so much power with very little rules or laws to what they are required to do. ...... One day i will be the reason they loose some of that power. I dont know how but i will try to find a way to shed light on there horrible abuse of power. I know it in my heart , mark my words one day they will hate they messed with my babies , my family. i Just dont know when and i want it to be done the right way, legally to where they have no where to turn but to help families like they are supposed to instead of destroy them and any hope they have. ...... if you have been destroyed by CPS and there abuse of power id realy like to hear your story . Mine is a long long one with many large points of them just doing things because they can and not taking the time to look a little further into something they would see the truth is a way different story than what they assume. ........

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Kelsey, LADC, Moderator | @kelseyt | Dec 10 9:13am

@gigliojess89, Welcome to connect, I can hear and feel not only the anger and frustration with your situation, but also the immense amount of love you have for your child. It is loud and clear. The statement "You gave birth to that child, your blood runs through that child’s veins, you are the only person who will ever love that child as much as you do" gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. I am a mother myself, the thought of what you are going through, and feeling is absolutely devastating.

You will likely find, without looking too far, that many people have felt wronged by the system. Focusing on past/present injustices or what has gone wrong is understandable, but may not be helpful to reconnect with your daughter. The members on this forum can be a source of strength, support, and understanding for anyone facing these struggles.

Members here who have been involved with professionals or agencies such as Child Protective Services (CPS), probation or parole officers, attorneys, judges, counselors, etc., may be able to share tips and effective and productive ways to work with them.

@gigliojess89, what do you feel would be the most helpful next step right now?

gigliojess89 | @gigliojess89 | Dec 10 6:02pm

In reply to @kelseyt "@gigliojess89, Welcome to connect, I can hear and feel not only the anger and frustration with..." + (show)

@kelseyt thanks very much for hearing my story.... I'm just at a loss of what to do because my lawyer seems to act more like she is working for them then me. They only charged me with known previous substance abuse instead of abuse and neglect but they have rushed my case really quickly and already trying to terminate my parental rights. Accusing me of abandonment even though I visit weekly and keep constant contact through email with the foster mom on her well being etc. I have a hard time with inpatient services because I also suffer from severe anxiety and have issues with others preparing my food. I don't eat at fast food places or restaurants and haven't in many years. I have a sensitive stomach and the last time I did eat in a restaurant I was really sick for a month so since fhen I have issues with others preparing my meals. I signed myself into a rehab they have here in Las Vegas where they let the moms have there babies while doing there treatment but upon arrival there i went to talk to my case manager there and she explained that there's no telling when or if my daughter would even be able to join me there. After 3 days there and eating very little the last day and a half there because the food looked questionable to me. On day 3 I was throwing up again and felt awful so I went to my case managers office explained how I was feeling and was told "sick days are not allowed" and I would have to turn it out. So I decided to call my case manager for CPS and see if I left there if outpatient would be enough to get my daughter back and she said yes it would be because the judge said outpatient was fine with her. I also explained that I was having a very hard time and not because of drugs , that literally was the last thing on my mind at that point. I was hungry, felt terribly dizzy and was just not happy and felt like that place was not doing anything for me. I signed out and went home. When trying to sign up for inpatient my insurance was not accepted by he facility which became another issue as well. I just don't know where to turn or what to do because I'm torn by my anxiety with certain things and my love for my daughter . I have been studying the law here a lot to try to figure out what I could do to at least slow down the termination but am at a loss of what to do honestly. I have tried to get a pro bono attorney and was denied by 2 organizations who say they don't help my kind of case. Also contacted some attorneys myself directly and they didn't want to help either. I don't know what to do . I just Idk......😢😥☹️🙁🙁

diverdown1 | @diverdown1 | Dec 11 6:28am

Is there any kind of drug court in your state? I work for an agency that works with the courts and also helps the person with an addiction. Sobriety, if you are an addict, is number one. We have a program where people attend a certain number of intensive outpatient groups with people in situations similar to yours. I am not a parent, but I am in recovery. I know that if I use, my life is over and nothing else matters. Please stay sober. Do an outpatient program, it can only help. There may be an agency that uses grants, like the one I work with. It will not only help you have support, but also if you are in front of a judge, it can help as well. Do you have a social worker? If so, can they work with CPS? I am sorry that you and your daughter are going through all of this. Remember to take things a day at a time. Do what is in front of you.

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