How to approach a son abusing drugs

I am a recovering alcoholic/addict. My suggestion is if you feel the need to, let him know that you are concerned for his health. I would not approach him in any type of judgemental or aggressive or shaming manner. Merely tell him that you love him, are concerned about his use of amphetamines and need him to know that you needed to let him know you are concerned. I do not know if he will become defensive ( I would have when I was using). If that happens, you have really done all you can do. He is a grown man and making his own choices. Are you familiar with Al-anon? Also, you can go to SAMHSA.gov and there is a load of information for family members that have a loved one who is in active addiction. I hope this helps. Remember, you are powerless over what he does but out of love, you can let him know that you are concerned and willing to help him if he decides he wants to stop.

Thank you greatly diverdown1.
What you wrote is exactly how I would approach my son.
I truly appreciate your thoughts especially since you have been down this truly awful road and came off of it.
The very best to you as you continue with your sobriety and new life.
Be well.

What diverdown1 said:
"He is a grown man and making his own choices." and,
"Remember, you are powerless over what he does but out of love, you can let him know that you are concerned and willing to help him if he decides he wants to stop."

I have four adult children.
Ages 49,39, 37, 32.
Two men two women.

"They are grown adults" is my mantra for the last ten plus years.

Although they are all doing well, is extremely hard to sit and watch the inevitable growing "pains" I see over time.

As a mother, I must grow too...and let them falter and not say a word, except "You know where I am if you need me".

Is no longer my job to intercede when I see a possible train wreck happening; BUT I have to tell myself: "This is NOT your life, it is theirs.".

I cannot tell you how often I must keep my mouth shut and just stand by and watch, love and pray for their soft landings.

They are going to make big mistakes, of course, haven't we all?

Of course, I found your post helpful slarson14 - thank you.
Yes, our adult children are going to make mistakes for sure - just like we did at their ages.
Yes, they alone are in control of their lives now...and actually for a very long time.
I don't know if you are in my shoes with any of your 4 adult children. If you are, please let me know what you did (if anything, in response to an addicted adult child in your family).
My son isn't headed for a train wreck. His abuse of amphetamines, mixing different drug classes together, dosing so very high, having 2 psychiatrists (each not being aware of the other), securing different drugs and using them all on a daily basis - is extremely dangerous behavior.
It's not a big mistake. It's life threatening.
I clearly know I can't cure him nor can I control him. But since I am AWARE of his drug addiction and what he is doing... completely isolated & alone, his drugs his only friends, his only priority in life now...as a loving mother do you really think I should keep my mouth shut, stand by & watch & pray for a soft landing for him?
As diverdown1 said - I will only offer him my unconditional love, support, empathy and help if he chooses to make the decision to stop his drug abuse. I know without a doubt, THIS is the only response I can provide to him. And should he decide he wants to continue to self destruct? He will always know I am here for him. And I love him exactly as he is. I won't abandon him. He will always have a loving mother who will stand by him...no matter what. I hate his behavior and choices in life, I am afraid I will lose him to this brain disorder.
And clearly I know it's possible.
But he will always know he has a mother who loves him - exactly as he is.

Hello, I am new here but can relate to what you are going through. My 37 year old son just relapsed an
Free being sober for 2.5 years. Alcohol and Drugs are scary, but you must confront him, and he or call the Doctor in Canada and make him aware of face situation.

You need to call your son when it is a good time for him to talk and just be honest with him. If he fights you and doesn’t want to seek treatment for this theft is not much you can do as a mother other than feel the pain because he is your. Son. Can you call the Doctor in the states as well. Whatever amount he is taking js not good at all. Too much Adderall abd pick me up drugs can affect his internal organs organs greatly. Keep strong, talk to him, don’t lecture him, just tell him how concerned you are for his overall health. Offer to check out treatment centers where he lives. Just let him know you are aware of this and needed to tell him that this is really bad for his long term health.

My son relapsed at 37 and he seems to get it now that he needs to work the program. He is in treatment right now and I feel like this time he gets it.

I know how hard it is to be a mother with a troubled issue with an adult. Child who lived 10 hours a way.

Keep the faith!

I want you to know something that my mother told me, AFTER I got sober..."As long as you were alive, I knew there was hope." I had no control of my using, although deep down, I knew that it was killing me and there was a part of me that wanted to stop. I was in rehab at 14 years old (parents put me there), so I was familiar with A.A. and recovery at a young age, although I continued to relapse for 30 years. This last relapse was 11 years long (I think). I am now 55 and have almost 8 years sober. I have made amends to my mother for putting her through hell. As long as he is alive, there is hope. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. If you ever feel the need, reach out. I will do the best I can to listen and be of support. I lost my partner of 28 years to this disease. I found him dead in our house because he would not stop using. I have been the user and I have been the one that watched someone I love destroy themselves. This is a cunning and powerful disease. I continue to think of you and the struggles this disease of addiction brings. Just for today. All we have is today.