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How to approach a son abusing drugs
I recently discovered (but always suspected) my 40 yr. old son is abusing his prescription Adderall by doctor shopping in Canada where he use to live. He has a psychiatrist here in the states and where he use to live in Canada. He is pretending he still lives there. Sees this psychiatrist x2/year and gets a 6 month supply of not just Adderall but other dangerous amphetamines. Pays cash and fills everything at his old pharmacy. On the prescription pharmacy bags is his old Canadian address...dated 2024. He is living in the mid west since 2021. I must approach him and I am afraid to. I really don't know how...or when. I live on the east coast & he visits about 4x/yr. - my birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas & once in the summer. His father and I are divorced 18 years and I haven't told him what I discovered yet. His father is an abusive man, personality disorders and talks the talk but never walks the walk. He can be useless.
Any thoughts from parents (Moms) who have taken this awful journey. My son is mixing these drugs. Extremely dangerous.
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I am a recovering alcoholic/addict. My suggestion is if you feel the need to, let him know that you are concerned for his health. I would not approach him in any type of judgemental or aggressive or shaming manner. Merely tell him that you love him, are concerned about his use of amphetamines and need him to know that you needed to let him know you are concerned. I do not know if he will become defensive ( I would have when I was using). If that happens, you have really done all you can do. He is a grown man and making his own choices. Are you familiar with Al-anon? Also, you can go to SAMHSA.gov and there is a load of information for family members that have a loved one who is in active addiction. I hope this helps. Remember, you are powerless over what he does but out of love, you can let him know that you are concerned and willing to help him if he decides he wants to stop.
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1 ReactionThank you greatly diverdown1.
What you wrote is exactly how I would approach my son.
I truly appreciate your thoughts especially since you have been down this truly awful road and came off of it.
The very best to you as you continue with your sobriety and new life.
Be well.
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2 ReactionsWhat diverdown1 said:
"He is a grown man and making his own choices." and,
"Remember, you are powerless over what he does but out of love, you can let him know that you are concerned and willing to help him if he decides he wants to stop."
I have four adult children.
Ages 49,39, 37, 32.
Two men two women.
"They are grown adults" is my mantra for the last ten plus years.
Although they are all doing well, is extremely hard to sit and watch the inevitable growing "pains" I see over time.
As a mother, I must grow too...and let them falter and not say a word, except "You know where I am if you need me".
Is no longer my job to intercede when I see a possible train wreck happening; BUT I have to tell myself: "This is NOT your life, it is theirs.".
I cannot tell you how often I must keep my mouth shut and just stand by and watch, love and pray for their soft landings.
They are going to make big mistakes, of course, haven't we all?
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