Realized I had depression some 5 years ago (mid-40s), but could have had it longer. 100mg of Zoloft removed the constant "greyness" and heaviness. Just heard the term "episodes". Will I be going thru these periods for the rest of my life? The guilt, the preoccupation with death, the tension, the emotional outbursts, the sleeping (12-14 hrs. day), the energy it takes to act normal. The last 3 months have been really good. Back to normal for the first time in a long time. Can it last? At what point can I know that I am me again? Does anyone ever conquer this thing that changes your entire personality?