How long does it take to recover from broken marriage?

I understand you’re hurting. I was married for 33 years and had to go through a divorce, not my choice, so I know the hurting feeling. The main thing for you to do is to keep busy with friends, family, and your interests and hobbies. The hurt will gradually subside with time, but may never totally go away. There is a line from a poet whose first name is Pablo. Love is short, forgetting is long.

I remember asking the exact same question after my husband walked out on me - how long is this pain going to last? For me, after 6 months I was able to pull myself out of the pain when I finally accepted the marriage was over and I didn’t want to waste another day of my life. It was a decision I made, but I think a person has to experience the pain/loss before they can make that decision. My thoughts are with you! It’s a painful experience but I will tell you that now I can look back and say that my divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Marina, you come across as a kind, and caring person. As such, what would you do for a friend who was sad? Think about yourself from a third person perspective. Ask Marina, what does she need, right now? This is a chance and time to become your own best friend. Be there, for Marina. It takes a little bit of work to learn to think about yourself and your needs 1st. Don't give up. Keep moving forward. My friend, Frances, says "Gratitude", look around you, so much to be grateful." Losses and challenges are put forth into our lives so that we can learn and experience and grow and by doing so, we bloom and blossom and gives us the opportunities to share with others this incredible experiment of the universe of which we all are. May you be happy. May you be Healthy. May you feel at peace. May you feel loved. Shine on!!!

I was a bachelor for a long time, and I dated a fair number of divorced women.

Each individual is different, of course, but as a (female) psychologist told me, it typically takes two years for someone (man or woman) to stabilize after a divorce.

My experience bore this out.

One tip -- When you do start dating again (and you will), don't spend your first date with the new guy giving a litany of your ex's sins. That's not fair to you or the new guy.

Hi,

I just wanted to share where I’m at. In 13 days, it’ll be a year since my separation. Looking back, it’s been a rollercoaster.

When I first wrote here, I was angry. Then I went through a really sad phase where I wished I didn’t have to wake up every day. But one day, out of nowhere, I just felt okay—like I was exactly where I was meant to be.

About three months ago, I felt ready to date again. I thought I was fully healed. I made a profile on a dating app but didn’t find anyone I liked. Then two weeks ago, I started chatting with someone, and from the first conversation, I felt he might be the one. We met in person four days later and have gone on three more dates since. He’s amazing—kind, thoughtful, and everything I could want.

But dating him has shown me I’m not as healed as I thought. After our third date, I woke up feeling sad because I kept thinking it would end someday. I know that’s not a healthy way to think, but I couldn’t stop myself.

On the day of our fourth date, my mom was admitted to the hospital. He came with me and waited for hours while I was with her. That showed me how much he cares and what a great person he is.

Yesterday we spent time together, but today we didn’t. Even though there’s no reason to think it, I found myself doubting if he’s really into me. My mind just went to the worst-case scenario again.

Then, to make things harder, I started thinking about my ex—not because I miss him, but because the idea of being hurt by someone new scares me.

I know I still have work to do on myself, and this is part of the process.
The question is should I stop dating good guy until im totally ok ????

Keep dating him. He sounds like a keeper because of going to the hospital and seeing your mom.

Hello @marinaorlic,

I will not sugarcoat the process of recovering from this loss. It will be difficult and many days will feel like there is no progress. The self-help industry will sell you on the idea that you can will yourself into Happily Ever After.

Find a GOOD therapist that will help you to (a) honestly examine what transpired, (b) repair your feelings of self-worth (if needed), and (c) do a careful analysis of what you really want (but need) your future to be.
In my own experience, I did not follow this kind off plan when my wife left me, which sowed the seeds for an even worse experience down the road.

I would love to hear the updates on your life since 2024 now we are in July 2026. There are good news we haven't heard about

@tonnie9

Hi Tonnie,

I'm still with the same man I mentioned in my previous message.

He is an amazing person and has shown that in so many different situations.

In December 2024, just one month after my last message, my mum died. It was the second Christmas in a row that I had lost someone very important to me.

Then, in June 2025, I lost my house. It was the first time in my life that I didn't have a home. I have two big dogs and a cat, and finding a place to rent was almost impossible.

My boyfriend offered for all of us to move in with him until my housing situation was sorted. That was incredibly kind of him, especially considering that at that point we had only known each other for seven months.

I became very depressed. I had even made a plan for how I would end my life. My idea was to buy sleeping pills a pack at a time and, when I had enough, just go to sleep.

The only thing that stopped me was my dogs. I couldn't leave until I knew they would be safe and cared for, and I never managed to reach that point. For months, though, I genuinely just wanted to leave this world.

In December 2025, I got my house, just one week before Christmas. It was the first Christmas in three years where I gained something instead of losing something.

I thought that would solve everything. I thought I would become my old happy self again, the person I was before the separation.

But I was still depressed.

I missed my previous life. I missed having my ex-husband in my life—but not as a husband. I missed the feeling of security that comes from having one person with whom you can be completely yourself.

Then, out of nowhere, something seemed to switch in my head. I became ready to keep living and to fully embrace this new life.

It took me two years to get over the separation.

Now I know it was a good thing that he left. I'm not sorry that we were married, but I am glad that he was the one who made the decision to leave. I only saw him once after he left, and that was it.

I'm still in a relationship with the same man I mentioned before. At the end of October, it will be two years together.

We are a very loving couple. There are lots of hugs, kisses, and constant reminders of how much we love each other.

What I have now has shown me what it really means to be with someone as a partner. It has made me realize that my ex and I were always more like friends. There was never this kind of passion between us.

The challenge in my current relationship is that we live in different counties. Because he has his children with him most weekends, I see him only on specific days.

For now, living like this is okay, but lately I have started to wonder whether I could be satisfied with this arrangement for another five years. The thought of breaking up with him makes me incredibly sad, and I honestly don't think I could do it. At the same time, the idea of us staying exactly where we are now, without moving forward in some way, is equally difficult.

So I find myself caught between two feelings. I don't want to lose him, but I also don't know if our current situation is enough for the long term.

I am now in my new house, in the place where I always knew I needed to live.
Im happy with my life and I dont think about dying any more.

Thank you for asking