How likely is CLINICAL DEPRESSION with: PSTD (from Husband Adultery)?

Posted by antiblackhole @antiblackhole, Jun 12, 2019

Married 15 years; child 6, thought it was great marriage, blindsided: husband cheating with 15 years younger secretary. Wondering what incidence or likelihood that such blind-sided, unexpected Adultery and resulting divorce which caused PTSD affect might also cause Clinical Depression? Thanks.

Hello, @antiblackhole – many apologies for the delay in responding. Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I can imagine that discovering your husband of 15 years was cheating with his secretary would be completely blindsiding.

Here is some Mayo Clinic information that may be helpful:

– On PTSD https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967

– On clinical depression https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/clinical-depression/faq-20057770

I'd like to bring in some other Connect members to talk with you who have mentioned adultery occurring in their families, like @littlepaw @amberpep
@marilyn2525 @sandij @david33 @danalee5 @blindeyepug @danybegood1 @kennethdbass51 @msparker. Hoping these members will return and share some of their own experiences and offer you support at this very difficult time. @gingerw and @hopeful33250 also may have some thoughts for you.

What symptoms are you experiencing right now as you process through all that has happened with your husband? How is your child doing through this?

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Hello @antiblackhole

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's infidelity and now your PTSD. Most of us who have had experiences with PTSD have at one time or another had clinical depression as well.

I hope you are seeing a counselor so that you can work through your feelings of grief and betrayal. These are very fundamental feelings and you will undoubtedly need help in processing them.

Like, Lisa, @lisalucier, I would like to know how you are doing with all of this. What sort of support system do you have in place? Have you attended any Divorce Recovery support groups? Counseling? Are you taking any medications to help deal with your symptoms?

I look forward to hearing from you.

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Dear @antiblackhole, What has been done to us by a person we once loved and trusted is hard to come to grips with. I've done all kinds of things to forgive and forget, move on, be grateful for what remains, grateful for my health, find good in other things. I. In counseling & it helps somewhat. Not sure what it all means. Does make me angry and hurt, that he cheated. I don't know what to expect from this experience, I'll let you know when I find out.

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@antiblackhole I would like to welcome you to Mayo Connect, even though the circumstances that brought you here are not happy ones. Thank you for reaching out. Have you been able to speak with your counselor about the connection of the two, and how best to work on recovery? When we are wronged by another, especially a loved one, and more especially someone we share a child with, it is such a blow to our self-esteem. One thing to remember is that it was not your fault. What are you doing for yourself? If there is split custody, do you feel animosity at the exchange? If so, perhaps you could arrange for a trusted family member to accompany you or handle the exchange? We care.
Ginger

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@antiblackhole hello and welcome to a safe place where you can pour your heart out. I have experienced betrayals and know how deeply the hurt cuts into your soul. I would encourage you to find a counselor that will really hear you, if it resonates with you pray for the correct counselor to show up for you. Also I would be very patient and gentle at this time, and take time to make important decisions such as starting any type of antidepressant medication. Although it may feel like a godsend at the time, these types of medications have far reaching effects that will appear years later. With that being said, consider something temporary if suggested by a medical professional. Please continue to share here and you will be sure to come to a direction you can live with. Peace be with you at this troubling time.

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Hi, @antiblackhole – thinking of you and wondering how you are doing?

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