How fast does this progress??

Posted by LinaXYL @linaxyl, Aug 9 10:42am

Husband has alcohol based dementia. Not sure if he's continuing to drink behind my back, but if he is it's not the falling down passing out binge drinking that caused the damage. But suddenly he's not only forgetting the past, but things I told him hours ago. I had a fall a few weeks ago and told him about it. We discussed it - how I fell, what I hurt, do I want to go to the hospital, etc. Then he went to bed to nap. In a couple hours I decided to go to the ER because I had hit my head very hard and I was really in pain. I didn't wake him because he would just sit there being rude to nurses and generally make the experience worse than it would already be. After I'd been there a few hours he sent me a panicked text - Where are you? I said at the hospital getting the damage from my fall checked out. He said - Fall? What fall? Are you OK? It's happened several times since then. I know sometimes we don't listen well, but this was not that. We discussed it. This seems to be a big change to me.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

jimandkaren | @jimandkaren | Aug 9 12:15pm

I would be grateful if my wife could still text.

katrina123 | @katrina123 | Aug 9 1:03pm

I am sorry that must be so difficult for you. My husband has Alzheimer's and he can ask me the same question over and over. Brain damage is a terrible thing, isn't it?

LinaXYL.....I wondered how you are doing after having such a bad fall?

katrina123 | @katrina123 | Aug 9 1:11pm

In reply to @jimandkaren "I would be grateful if my wife could still text." + (show)

I understand how you feel. Every time my husband gets a text or any news on his phone he hands his phone to me to show him how to open it. Then he asks me to respond to the text for him. I do feel bad for him because I know it upsets him to not understand how to do things.

jimandkaren | @jimandkaren | Aug 9 2:23pm

I do a lot of different things with Karen so she doesn't feel completely helpless/worthless, which she's not, but can feel that way. I write the text and send it to her, and she can forward it to someone she wants to text. I have her press 1 or 2 on the confirm/deny text. I have her respond to "love" texts with emojis. I send her here at home. She can write slowly, a little, so I tell her to write her text, and we can take a picture of what she wrote on paper and send it. Etc. Etc. Little things are so so big for her sometimes. Anything to feel normal is my goal. She can't drive but dreams she will again someday, so I take her to empty school or industrial parking lots on the weekend and she "practices" her driving skills. Thanks for your note.

LinaXYL | @linaxyl | Aug 9 3:07pm

In reply to @katrina123 "I am sorry that must be so difficult for you. My husband has Alzheimer's and he..." + (show)

Still hurting a lot but I know it's only bruising so I push through. Thank you for checking in!

laura1970 | @laura1970 | Aug 9 7:49pm

A sudden change in mental status, even with a known history of dementia, warrants a medical evaluation, or at least a call in to his doctor. Just my opinion.

celia16 | @celia16 | Aug 10 6:28am

Things like a UTI or other infection can cause a change in mental status. You might check it out. Otherwise, progression varies. My cousin had vascular dementia and the progression was rapid in a stepped down fashion. My dad had Alzheimer’s and it was quite slow with a gradual progression over the years.

Short term memory loss can be frustrating for everyone. It can be extremely stressful to have someone ask the same question over and over for hours with no memory they asked it 5 minutes previously. As a caregiver the only option is to nicely respond as if it’s the first time it’s been asked. Redirecting or changing the subject sometimes helps.

I hope your head is ok. Good luck with everything.

trishaanderson | @trishaanderson | Aug 10 6:58am

In reply to @celia16 "Things like a UTI or other infection can cause a change in mental status. You might..." + (show)

Celia,
How are you doing since the passing of your dad? How's your mom holding up?
Trish

celia16 | @celia16 | Aug 10 7:13am

In reply to @trishaanderson "Celia, How are you doing since the passing of your dad? How's your mom holding up?..." + (show)

@trishaanderson, it’s pretty rough. Honestly…..I haven’t processed it yet. I keep feeling like he’s still around. So surreal. I’ve gone to the grave everyday since the funeral, yet it doesn’t seem real. Idk. I’m considering contacting my therapist for some new sessions.

My mom is really suffering. She cries a lot and isn’t well physically. Recent heart monitor shows issues. So, following up with that.

But, overall as a family (kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, etc,) we are ok. Thanks for asking. Losing a parent is not like I ever expected, no matter the age.

Dementia can progress slowly and then rapid decline. My dad was gone so quickly once he couldn’t walk and lost appetite.