1. < Aging Well

How do you deal with aging?

Posted by prcrowe @prcrowe, Jan 1 10:04pm

How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life? I'm turning 80 years old in 5 months, am in quite good health, work fulltime, and am incredibly grateful for the life I have. But, I find myself obsessed with the thought that I only have "x" amount of years left in my life. I've never figured out how to live one day at a time. Any suggestions from those of you around my age or older would be SO appreciated! (I'm "kind of" spiritual, but not really religious so that's not something that seems to help with my fear.)

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lizziel1 | @lizziel1 | May 14 11:45am
In reply to @bvpepper "My experience I’ve had to work at it. Starting small is ok! One step begins a..." + (show)
@bvpepper

My experience
I’ve had to work at it. Starting small is ok! One step begins a 1000 mile journey!
Exercise : flexibility, cardio , strength
Diet: Mediterranean, moderate white carbs, eat fresh fruit and veggies, healthy fats, get outside help for sugar cravings, get labs for possible deficiencies.
Spirituality: Groups, reading, meditating, discussions with positive, like-minded friends
Do service. Find a way to be useful, contribute, and feel some power if you worry about social and world problems.
Social. Make friends, build up the acquaintances you already have, ask an interesting friend for coffee, use your phone, meet at the library, share a poem, get outside help if you fear reaching out. Renew conversations with beloved family!
Get outside of yourself and lose preoccupation with yourself, get outside help if you tend toward isolating,.
Get a doctor, healthcare professional who is proactive and empowers you to help yourself, and does more than concentrate on pathology, disease, illness!
Know that you are loved, and the Universe wants you to be happy and have serenity, and that you can be, even as life “happens”!!
Attention, acceptance, appreciation.
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude!
Don’t give up!!

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These are all difficult things to do when one suffers from depression. Aging, pain and depression go hand in hand.

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2 replies
bvpepper | @bvpepper | May 14 1:08pm
In reply to @prcrowe "AWESOME suggestions ...!! I do a lot of things that are on your list, but your..." + (show)
@prcrowe

AWESOME suggestions ...!! I do a lot of things that are on your list, but your reminder is absolutely perfect! 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing.

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Thank you for your comment!
All are things I learned from others, wiser than I am!
(I read a lot! 😊)
Life is good!
God is good!

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bvpepper | @bvpepper | May 14 1:13pm
In reply to @lizziel1 "These are all difficult things to do when one suffers from depression. Aging, pain and depression..." + (show)
@lizziel1

These are all difficult things to do when one suffers from depression. Aging, pain and depression go hand in hand.

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Feeling powerless may be a strong emotion, but feelings are not necessarily facts!
They are daunting if I think I have to do them all at once.
I have to be willing to take baby steps!
If I look back at my life, I have had more difficult things happen, and I got through it!
You can do it, if you are willing to take the first step!
Please don’t give up!

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brendacaytonwhite | @brendacaytonwhite | May 14 2:21pm

When you have been allowed to live to be 73, you shouldn't worry about later life. Just continue to live and love your life as you have so far. I am 68 in poor health, but still look forward to seeing 100 and beyond.

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brendacaytonwhite | @brendacaytonwhite | May 14 2:28pm
In reply to @lizziel1 "These are all difficult things to do when one suffers from depression. Aging, pain and depression..." + (show)
@lizziel1

These are all difficult things to do when one suffers from depression. Aging, pain and depression go hand in hand.

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I live with the same things including depression. I pray and even talk to myself, because I know talking to a counsel or some other stranger isn't for me. I refuse to take another pill, so I will handle my depression my way. I love music and when I can remember I will listen to the music which I like on YouTube or sing off tune to songs which I barely know the words to. I am planning to open an olde fashion ice cream shoppe. I have problems with the financial end, but it doesn't hurt to plan it. I take webinar courses on various things. I am a Corporate Travel Agent, but I watch webinars on leisure travel and I am starting an independent travel agency. I am staying busy, so that I don't focus on my depression and the fact that my sister died on me. Her death and becoming disabled where I can't walk or drive is the cause of my depression. I am dealing with it the best I can.

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prcrowe | @prcrowe | May 14 6:40pm
In reply to @thisismarilynb "For the most part, doctors are not the answer. The medical profession now is awful. Do..." + (show)
@thisismarilynb

For the most part, doctors are not the answer. The medical profession now is awful. Do you ever get examined by a doctor? Do they even remember to at least listen to your heart? I had to remind my doctor about this at my last visit. They just look at the computer but not at you. I was asked about my back pain. I thought he was crazy. I do not have back pain. They don't look at your chart. I had a dermatologist prescribe a topical solution that raised my blood sugar. I don't see her anymore. I will be 90 on my next birthday. How did I become so old? I don't look old and I don't feel old, but the fact remains that I am. I live alone and don't need personal care. I need a house cleaner and a gardener, which I have. I call myself a survivor. When I was 10 years old I contracted Scarlet Fever. Remember back then there were no drugs. They put me in a special hospital for communicable diseases - in isolation. I was there for quite a while, but I survived. Without the vaccines that we have today, I had every childhood disease. But I survived. Now I have reached the age/stage where I cannot predict how much longer I will survive, but you cannot dwell on it. I am going on a cruise in July, but don't think I will buy any green bananas. (That was a joke.)

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I absolutely love your attitude! No wonder you've lived all of these years. 🙂 Just the fact that you're going on a cruise is awesome!! BTW ... your "green bananas" comment was comical!

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love2hikemt | @love2hikemt | May 15 8:58am
In reply to @thisismarilynb "For the most part, doctors are not the answer. The medical profession now is awful. Do..." + (show)
@thisismarilynb

For the most part, doctors are not the answer. The medical profession now is awful. Do you ever get examined by a doctor? Do they even remember to at least listen to your heart? I had to remind my doctor about this at my last visit. They just look at the computer but not at you. I was asked about my back pain. I thought he was crazy. I do not have back pain. They don't look at your chart. I had a dermatologist prescribe a topical solution that raised my blood sugar. I don't see her anymore. I will be 90 on my next birthday. How did I become so old? I don't look old and I don't feel old, but the fact remains that I am. I live alone and don't need personal care. I need a house cleaner and a gardener, which I have. I call myself a survivor. When I was 10 years old I contracted Scarlet Fever. Remember back then there were no drugs. They put me in a special hospital for communicable diseases - in isolation. I was there for quite a while, but I survived. Without the vaccines that we have today, I had every childhood disease. But I survived. Now I have reached the age/stage where I cannot predict how much longer I will survive, but you cannot dwell on it. I am going on a cruise in July, but don't think I will buy any green bananas. (That was a joke.)

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Hi Marilyn - I feel basically the same way! I am 80, living alone, in good health both mentally and physically, and need very little assistance. I have an appointment with my primary care physician this Friday to discuss matters...if I can get him away from the computer!! I grew up on a farm, away from doctors, and experienced every childhood disease known to man at that time...all without medical intervention...and, I survived as well. I also recall stepping on a rusty nail, pulling it out of my foot, washing my foot off with the garden hose, and going to play (barefoot!). Now, my only goal is to remain in my home that I love, remain self-sufficient, and as healthy as possible. But, trying to get muy doctor on board with my goals is a challenge. We will discuss this at our next visit. Wish me luck!

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3 replies
thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | May 15 10:10am
In reply to @love2hikemt "Hi Marilyn - I feel basically the same way! I am 80, living alone, in good..." + (show)
@love2hikemt

Hi Marilyn - I feel basically the same way! I am 80, living alone, in good health both mentally and physically, and need very little assistance. I have an appointment with my primary care physician this Friday to discuss matters...if I can get him away from the computer!! I grew up on a farm, away from doctors, and experienced every childhood disease known to man at that time...all without medical intervention...and, I survived as well. I also recall stepping on a rusty nail, pulling it out of my foot, washing my foot off with the garden hose, and going to play (barefoot!). Now, my only goal is to remain in my home that I love, remain self-sufficient, and as healthy as possible. But, trying to get muy doctor on board with my goals is a challenge. We will discuss this at our next visit. Wish me luck!

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It is always good to hear that someone agrees with your views. Thank you. Good luck with your doctor. If I may give you one piece of advice, do a lot of walking. That is the best exercise and will help you to stay in good shape. And don't let them shove a lot of drugs on you.

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Mentor
Jim, Volunteer Mentor | @jimhd | May 15 2:35pm

I understand why so many are down on inattentive doctors - I've seen a few of them. Maybe I learned too well as a child to see the best in people - on the other hand, maybe it's not such a bad life lesson to have been taught. Regardless, my parents instilled the importance of such things in me.

Sometimes things happen that require the services of doctors. My PCPs have all been very good over the past few decades, focused more on me than on their laptops. (Computers have been a good tool for doctors in making their treatment decisions more informed - my own perspective, anyway.) The surgeons and specialists I've seen, and the ones I'm currently seeing, have taken genuine interest in caring for me as a whole person. With very few exceptions, I've been listened to, treated respectfully as a person, felt validated, and seldomly brushed off.

I view doctors as a gift, and that could influence how they view me. They're humans, with feelings common to all of us, and I have to believe that they chose their vocation out of a commitment to helping others. Even when treatments aren't working, and I get frustrated, I know that my doctors won't give up searching for solutions, and that means a lot to me.

I say, celebrate when health is good and the services of medical professionals aren't needed. I rarely needed a doctor my first 50 years - not that I avoided them, but I was in good health. Over the past 24 years life has been challenging, and I'm grateful for the doctors who've cared for me, PCPs, cardiologists, neurologists, urologist, pain specialists, surgeons, orthopedists, ophthalmologist, etc. As I said, life has changed for me over the past 25 years. I would never have predicted it! Thank God that the doctors I've needed have been available to me!

Celebrate good health and independence.

Jim

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gravity3 | @gravity3 | May 16 5:10am
In reply to @love2hikemt "Hi Marilyn - I feel basically the same way! I am 80, living alone, in good..." + (show)
@love2hikemt

Hi Marilyn - I feel basically the same way! I am 80, living alone, in good health both mentally and physically, and need very little assistance. I have an appointment with my primary care physician this Friday to discuss matters...if I can get him away from the computer!! I grew up on a farm, away from doctors, and experienced every childhood disease known to man at that time...all without medical intervention...and, I survived as well. I also recall stepping on a rusty nail, pulling it out of my foot, washing my foot off with the garden hose, and going to play (barefoot!). Now, my only goal is to remain in my home that I love, remain self-sufficient, and as healthy as possible. But, trying to get muy doctor on board with my goals is a challenge. We will discuss this at our next visit. Wish me luck!

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What is the issue with getting him on board with YOUR goals?

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