How do I add aging issues to a life I have never been happy in?

One of the advantages of age is that I have said enough stupid, clumsy, hurtful things that I now sometimes have enough sense to keep my mouth shut. An occasional moment of regret serves as a good reminder.

@grasping
As an 82 year old, maybe I can say that my face has aged ten years eight times.
But of course it's WRONG comparison. Yours aged ten years in a very short time.

But I say this just to assert that one's shape or looks may have little to do with the satisfaction one may have with their life whether young, middle aged or old -- as I am with some infirmities but never a thought about my looks which have changed no doubt. But I won't try to hide, in fact a long white hair in my eyebrow sprouts now and then and I trim it only to not interfere with my vision. It IS who I am with few hair all white ; no point not accepting, and EVERY point there to keep it as-it-is, if only to remind me of my limited time on earth. Indeed it helps me to not waste on matters that I might regret having not given enough attention to. Indeed old age forces me to plan each hour more judiciously. This helps me to go to sleep tired and rise refreshed (incl of course other sensible lifestyle habits) It is this living that gives me assurance that I am OK; looks are entirely irrelevant. Frankly, I'd rather have over coffee someone who I can have a delightful engaging conversation that will make me even forget whether it's a man or woman! Yes, it happens as gender is the last thing that matters.

Honestly. That's the power of good conversation (and good friendship that I'd love to have, everything else just fades away and the person's ideas and observations fill the space between us. It's a 'happiness' though I call it simply satisfaction with life. of having lived it as purposefully as I wish to.

I Hope it helps you!
(Oh, Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, asks us: Are you worthy of your suffering? Tenderly Shocking!

Like many on this board, aging shocked the sh*t out of me! A "How To" manual would certainly be helpful. It's interesting that the individuals who were beautiful in their younger years are having a very difficult time adjusting to aging and the changes in their appearance; but these were the ones who placed a priority on their looks and didn't cultivate other aspects of their lives. After much soul searching and self-examination, it occurred to me that these are the years we can honestly enjoy ourselves, be ourselves, don't worry what anyone thinks, explore what makes US happy and do what WE want. There's a poem titled "Warning" by Jenny Joseph and it starts out,
"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple . . . With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me." That's my new attitude; I'm no longer concerned with "being in style," wearing the current trends or, more importantly, what people think of me. Shop your closet. If you're like me you've got a wonderful and interesting collection of clothing, handbags, scarves and jewelry. Wear them. And enjoy the looks you'll get . . . and believe me, you'll get looks ranging from, "Look at that old bat. Who does she think she is, wearing an outfit like that???" to envy from others wishing they had the nerve to wear that outfit. I've had YOUNG women, (girls actually) come up to me and compliment me on my outfit, jewelry, etc. Be unique and be you. I also enjoy "thrifting" and find interesting clothing and other items at our local thrift stores. And you know all that great costume jewelry we've saved all these years? Yes, it's back in style so pin it on a denim jacket, sweater or shirt. Instead of staying in - GET OUT THERE! There's so much to do out there and a lot of it is free for us "seniors." Concerts, workshops, classes, seminars, theatre, church activities etc. And honestly, understand you'll never look like you did 20 or 30 years ago. So quit looking back and look forward because those days are gone, however focus on skincare, your eyebrows (so important as we age) and maybe get a makeover at one of the department stores. Our skin changes, so the make up we've been using isn't appropriate for our skin anymore. The important thing is to live life for yourself. Many of us have cared for children, parents and husbands, so consider this YOUR TIME. Believe me, it's liberating. And I'm gonna wear purple, whenever and wherever I please!

It sounds wonderful but impossible for me. I am truly happy to hear you can do this. I cannot explain clearly how I feel. I have major deppression that I see a doctor for. I must have the weakest control over my emotions! I cannot seem to get out of this dark hole of negativity. I hate who I am and there is no way I can just say get over it or try the fun things you suggest. I need to stop posting and reading how "normal" people handle bad experiences and aging because I am feeling more and more down when I hear how most people deal and I cannot.

At 65, i have had a hard life with much upheaval. Health problems feel like the final insult. And i have been told i am ugly since grade school. Any of my best facial or physical features are disappearing more each day. But that's when "The Glow" starts, when i realize that through ardent learning, and loving, i am now lit up pretty from within, like a lantern. Because i am able to understand others. Listen to them in a deeper way. And more people respect me than when i was younger.