How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@johnbishop

Younger folks might not have had the joy of watching Foster Brooks doing roasts on the Dean Martin show but he was one of the funniest role playing comedians I've ever seen – lots of belly laughs

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A flood of memories! I remember the first time seeing him on a variety show? Ed Sullivan show maybe??? My parents and I laughed so hard we all had tears and couldn’t breathe! But we also watched with a feeling of horror not knowing if he was really inebriated, having a medical issues or just scared! Hahaha. Love the rest of the cast on this dais, Betty White, Phylis Diller, Dean Martin, etc…Those roasts used to be pretty funny.

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@johnbishop

I remember him well. I don't know if this is all true but I read that he was a recovered alcoholic and was a spokesman for MADD. He died 20 years ago. Lot of funny comics back then.

FL Mary

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I rarely contribute to this group but I have to tell you about this!

In reading about viruses, etc., recently I came across info that said all living creatures can get sick except ants!

That's because they have anty-bodies! (::::::::::::::::::groan::::::::::::::::::::)
JK

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Paddy’s wife gave birth to triplets.
“How on earth did that happen” says Paddy.
“Remember that night I was very dry and we had no vaseline so you used 3 in one oil?”
Jeez says Patty, “I’m sure glad I didn’t use WD-40.”

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@contentandwell

I rarely contribute to this group but I have to tell you about this!

In reading about viruses, etc., recently I came across info that said all living creatures can get sick except ants!

That's because they have anty-bodies! (::::::::::::::::::groan::::::::::::::::::::)
JK

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😂 🐜 😂

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@contentandwell

I rarely contribute to this group but I have to tell you about this!

In reading about viruses, etc., recently I came across info that said all living creatures can get sick except ants!

That's because they have anty-bodies! (::::::::::::::::::groan::::::::::::::::::::)
JK

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@contentandwell May I add, "double groan"?

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@contentandwell
No groans allowed in the joke thread.
Jake

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A Husband Store opened last year in the big city. Instructions at the entrance said: You may enter this store only once. There are six floors, each with better attributes than the floor below. You may choose your husband at any time, or you may go up another floor, but you can never go to a lower floor.

The woman entered the store and found a nice selection of men with jobs, but she went up the stairs. There she found men who have jobs and love kids, but no, the next floor will be better. There she found men with jobs who love kids and are extremely handsome. Ah, maybe just one more floor. There she found all the previous attributes plus these actually helped with the housework. Wow, these are great, but I will choose from the next floor. The men on the fifth floor had all those attributes plus they were true-blue romantics! Still not enough for her, but she was sure to find what she was looking for on the sixth floor, so up the stairs again. There she found an empty floor with an electronic counter and the message: You are the 3,261,496th visitor to this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

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The Wife Store: Floor One has women who love sex. Floor Two has women who love sex and are pretty. The third through the sixth floors have never had a visitor.

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@jakedduck1

Equality in gender jokes…..good think you had a his and a hers lol.

FL Mary

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Saw this one awhile ago and thought some of you would get a laugh from it.

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;
and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won

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@johnbishop

Saw this one awhile ago and thought some of you would get a laugh from it.

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;
and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem;
and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won

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That was kick, John.
Thanks
Jake

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