How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@jakedduck1

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is
important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor
cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do,
probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are
put into motion:

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine….

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he deals with
the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT
TO THE WOMAN.

More routine….

(8 ) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women….

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@jakeddduck1 I guess our family just had to be different. The guys do it all when it comes to BBQing.
Ginger

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@gingerw

@jakeddduck1 I guess our family just had to be different. The guys do it all when it comes to BBQing.
Ginger

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@gingerw
“The guys do it all when it comes to BBQing.”

Don’t we always? Just in our nature.
Jake

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Hey Siri, tell me a joke….

Siri asks "How do you fix a tuba?"

With Tube-a-Glue

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Hey Siri, Tell me a joke!

Siri's fun food fact today, is that French Fries weren't originally cooked in France, they were cooked in Greece. – lol

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@Erinmfs
Now that one I like and easy to inject into a conversation. I bet some people will have a a few seconds before Greece kicks in lol.

FL Mary

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Hey Siri, tell me a joke….

A Burgler took off with my lamp, I should be mad, but I'm delighted

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@jakedduck1 😹😹A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.”
The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors… I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.”
God said, “Say no more.” Instantly, the cat had a HUGE fluffy pillow.
A few days later, 12 mice were simultaneously killed in an accident and they all went up to Heaven together. God met the mice at the Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat.p
The mice said, “Well, we have had to run all of our lives… from cats, dogs, and even from people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller-skates, we would never have to run again.”
God answered, “It is done.” All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat… He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, “Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?”
The cat replied, “Oh, everything is just WONDERFUL… I’ve never been so happy in my life! My pillow is always fluffy and those little “Meals-on-Wheels” that You have been sending over are delicious.” 😸

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@loribmt

@jakedduck1 😹😹A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.”
The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors… I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.”
God said, “Say no more.” Instantly, the cat had a HUGE fluffy pillow.
A few days later, 12 mice were simultaneously killed in an accident and they all went up to Heaven together. God met the mice at the Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat.p
The mice said, “Well, we have had to run all of our lives… from cats, dogs, and even from people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller-skates, we would never have to run again.”
God answered, “It is done.” All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat… He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, “Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?”
The cat replied, “Oh, everything is just WONDERFUL… I’ve never been so happy in my life! My pillow is always fluffy and those little “Meals-on-Wheels” that You have been sending over are delicious.” 😸

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@loribmt
Oh I love that! It was purr-fect.

FL Mary

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@loribmt

@jakedduck1 😹😹A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.”
The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors… I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.”
God said, “Say no more.” Instantly, the cat had a HUGE fluffy pillow.
A few days later, 12 mice were simultaneously killed in an accident and they all went up to Heaven together. God met the mice at the Gates of Heaven, with the exact same offer that He made to the cat.p
The mice said, “Well, we have had to run all of our lives… from cats, dogs, and even from people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller-skates, we would never have to run again.”
God answered, “It is done.” All the mice had beautiful little roller-skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat… He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, “Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?”
The cat replied, “Oh, everything is just WONDERFUL… I’ve never been so happy in my life! My pillow is always fluffy and those little “Meals-on-Wheels” that You have been sending over are delicious.” 😸

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@loribmt 😆 🤣 😂. I'll try to remember that one to tell my tablemates in the dining room today! SO funny!!

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We haven’t had a laugh in a while.

A guy is having issues getting his van to start so he googles mechanics in his area. He comes across one he never heard of before called Vincent’s Van Repair. Because they do on the spot repairs, he called them the next morning and the mechanic was there at 11 am.

He meets the mechanic and immediately notices that the mechanic is missing his left ear but he doesn’t say anything. After explaining that he couldn’t get his van started , the mechanic thinks for a minute and gets to work under the hood.

Ten minutes later the mechanic is able to get the van to start.

As the guy thanked the mechanic who was starting to leave he said “I have to ask…what happened to your ear?” The mechanic says, “It’s a simple story really…I found out that if you cut your left ear off, you can make the Van Gogh.”

Enjoy,

FL Mary

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I was correcting goggles to googles when I remembered text can be edited.

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@imallears

We haven’t had a laugh in a while.

A guy is having issues getting his van to start so he googles mechanics in his area. He comes across one he never heard of before called Vincent’s Van Repair. Because they do on the spot repairs, he called them the next morning and the mechanic was there at 11 am.

He meets the mechanic and immediately notices that the mechanic is missing his left ear but he doesn’t say anything. After explaining that he couldn’t get his van started , the mechanic thinks for a minute and gets to work under the hood.

Ten minutes later the mechanic is able to get the van to start.

As the guy thanked the mechanic who was starting to leave he said “I have to ask…what happened to your ear?” The mechanic says, “It’s a simple story really…I found out that if you cut your left ear off, you can make the Van Gogh.”

Enjoy,

FL Mary

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A groaner for sure! 😂

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