How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@jakedduck1

A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked Jack to hand over the jewellery and money. Jack started sobbing and said, 'You can take anything you want. You can kill me also. But please untie the rope and free her.’ Thief: 'You must really love your wife!’ Man: 'Not particularly but she will be home soon.'

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Leonard, Leonard, Leonard…I almost busted a gut on the punch line 😂🤣😂

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When I see lovers initials carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet,
I just think it's strange how many people bring a knife on a date.
Jake

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@jakedduck1

When I see lovers initials carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet,
I just think it's strange how many people bring a knife on a date.
Jake

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@jakedduck1

LMAO…….The funniest thing I have heard all week.

FL Mary

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@jakedduck1

When I see lovers initials carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet,
I just think it's strange how many people bring a knife on a date.
Jake

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@jakedduck1 Oh, my! I carry a knife with me all the time. Never considered that point of view!
Ginger

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My doctor said I needed a heart transplant so I asked for a second opinion. He said, "Okay, you're also ugly!"

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@scottij

My doctor said I needed a heart transplant so I asked for a second opinion. He said, "Okay, you're also ugly!"

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Bahhhahahah!!! 😂

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What's funnier than a talking parrot? A spelling bee…..

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@loribmt

Bahhhahahah!!! 😂

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geeshe, lololol

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@johnbishop

Leonard, Leonard, Leonard…I almost busted a gut on the punch line 😂🤣😂

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hahaha

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What did the plate say to the refrigerator? Stay cool, dinner is on me!

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Eleven year old's environmental studies essay on the effect of oil pollution: 'When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead.'

Primary maths pupil's answer to question, `take 9 from 246 as many times as possible': `I did it fifty times and I always got 237.'

A little girl named Sally loved animal crackers. Her mom took her to the store and bought her some. When they got home, Sally started taking out all the animal crackers from the box and laid them all out on the table. Her mother asked why she was doing that. Sally replied, "I'm looking for the seal. The box says if the seal is broken, don't eat it."
Jake

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BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is
important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor
cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do,
probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are
put into motion:

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine….

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He
thanks her and asks if she will bring another drink while he deals with
the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT
TO THE WOMAN.

More routine….

(8 ) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women….

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