How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@johnbishop How lovely! Would have loved seeing that. Love such stories of human/animal/bird relationships. elixabeth

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@johnbishop That story reminded me of my husband had a pet crow and they are smart

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@johnbishop
That's amazing and wonderfully spooky. I usually just have mosquitos and no seeums following me.

FL Mary

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@jakedduck1

@contentandwell
Speaking of crows,
We were at the National Cemetery in San Francisco when this guy mistook me for a statue.
Jake

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@jakedduck1 I would not take kindly to a bird on my head, any type, crow, pigeon though would be the worst.
JK

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Not my words or thoughts but it did give me a laugh at the end because I am there 🙂

Jobs I've Tried
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it…. couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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@johnbishop

Not my words or thoughts but it did give me a laugh at the end because I am there 🙂

Jobs I've Tried
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it…. couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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@johnbishop Lol I loved them John finally I,ll get to see family,grandson so will keep all these for our Thanksgiving talent show this year

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@johnbishop

Not my words or thoughts but it did give me a laugh at the end because I am there 🙂

Jobs I've Tried
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it…. couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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These are really very funny. Thank you!

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@johnbishop

Not my words or thoughts but it did give me a laugh at the end because I am there 🙂

Jobs I've Tried
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it…. couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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@johnbishop
Loved it and kudos to the people who come up with these witticisms .

FL Mary

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@johnbishop

Not my words or thoughts but it did give me a laugh at the end because I am there 🙂

Jobs I've Tried
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it…. couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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@johnbishop, These are smilers for sure! And, yes, yes, yes to the last one! At last a perfect fit!

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This is from my ophthalmologist last week.

He told me that he really missed our parish Lenten Fish Fries that have been cancelled because of Covid. He said that he is known as the "Green bean king".
I did not know that, so I asked him how he got that title.
He replied, "Because I always doctored the beans"

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@johnbishop

Not my words or thoughts but it did give me a laugh at the end because I am there 🙂

Jobs I've Tried
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it…. couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job..
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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Love your perseverance! And happy you found the perfect match!

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@jakedduck1 I think Im going to have to give up walking seeing Dr tomorrow I can only go a few hundred feet before my legs give out and now s.o.b. just going up slight grade .This all worries me

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