Holidays: Celebration or Challenge for Transplant Families

@craigcraig
Thanks for your caring big heart to a total stranger. I am an extrovert, healthy and feel very uncomfortable socializing even with a mask. Where we live, winter is 6 plus months long; so doing things outside like a walk, many people I know cannot do this action so I do a lot alone, it gets old. We both feel like we exist and not live life anymore. WE've had 7 yrs to figure out how to move forward. I've always been a problem solver, but the past 7 yrs has been very difficult on us both and the hospital stay a year ago really was a gut punch on how the medical staff do not truly care about my spouse transplant when we strongly asked for masking of them. I saw how I'll my spouse was for over 4 months , not worth him getting sick again. I often feel like we live in a "Twilight zone' episode b/c our life is so bizarre now. So many friends and family have walked away from us too. Thanks again for writing. I'm out of ideas.

@dotygl Hi. I am so sorry for your difficult situation. And sorry things are not going well in a number of ways. It is unfortunate that his side effects are causing "a low quality of life". But I am glad you are healthy. It is so hard for caregivers. My wife LOVES to travel but outside one trip for a wedding (and 4 trips to Mayo AZ) there has been nothing since my liver transplant about 2 years ago. It may be just us but as we get older it is harder (and less enjoyable for me) to travel. I am on TAC and 10 other meds (down from 24 post transplant) but we do socialize with a mask when needed. And I am also very glad he is still standing to be with you for 7 years now with his new kidney. Hang in there. Wishing you happy and enjoyable hollidays and the very best in 2026.

Over 7 yrs ago my spouse of over 40 yrs received his kidney transplant. Due to having so many serious problems 14 months after the transplant Covid19 arrived March 2020 and since we still live to this day like the pandemic is still active. Christmas week 2024 he was battling many nonstop UTI's that antibiotics would not resolve; so 12/26/24 he was admitted to our local hospital per his nephrologist and despite telling doctors,nurses, and more to wear a mask due to his transplant; they did not. Dec 30 he came home and hours later sick and 24 hrs later I was sick and Jan 4,25 we both had COVID-19 for the first time and his UTI's continued on top of this virus to deal with through mid March 2025. My complaint letter to the hospital and state health dept stated the medical staff did nothing incorrect in not wearing masks. I am healthy and do most of the chores inside and outside because his fatigue since transplant years ago plus other problems never resolved/improved. His 2 nephrologists know all about his decline 'with ' the donated organ which functions well 'finally'; but the negative side effects of his immunosuppressants is his primary reason for low quality of life still. They won't alter his meds due to how long it took for the donated kidney to function well, over a year. So we are home for all holidays and nothing is what we thought it would be like after his transplant. It is with huge dismay we feel strongly the need to protect his health living isolated in our 'snowglobe' at home. We used to be very outgoing and social, but the past 7 yrs not at all. In closing, I hope your holidays are enjoyable.

@rosemarya I attend church via zoom. I am nice and comfortable on my couch unmasked with no worries. I attend every weekend and for special occasions all via zoom.

@pgruetz
I'm sure that was a difficult decision for you to decline the holiday event at your mother's home. For us transplant recipients, it is something that we learn to do. We learn to be selective because we understand the consequences connected with getting sick.

I'm ready to celebrate my 16th Christmas with my Liver/Kidney transplant. I remain vigilant, and like you, have declined invitations that I really would have enjoyed attending. However, I am healthy and happy to be alive, even with our smaller events!

Today I'm preparing some special recipes for Christmas with my husband one of our sons. And tomorrow we will attend Mass together. I usually have a special seat near the piano/organ and away from the congregation, however I'm taking some time off and not playing my violin. I will sit with my guys in a regular pew. I am a bit nervous because of the Christmas crowd, but I will wear my mask, choose a seat on the aisle, and be ready to move to a space in a doorway if I feel the need.

I hope that you enjoy a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year!

@pgruetz
I'm sure that was a difficult decision for you to decline the holiday event at your mother's home. For us transplant recipients, it is something that we learn to do. We learn to be selective because we understand the consequences connected with getting sick.

I'm ready to celebrate my 16th Christmas with my Liver/Kidney transplant. I remain vigilant, and like you, have declined invitations that I really would have enjoyed attending. However, I am healthy and happy to be alive, even with our smaller events!

Today I'm preparing some special recipes for Christmas with my husband one of our sons. And tomorrow we will attend Mass together. I usually have a special seat near the piano/organ and away from the congregation, however I'm taking some time off and not playing my violin. I will sit with my guys in a regular pew. I am a bit nervous because of the Christmas crowd, but I will wear my mask, choose a seat on the aisle, and be ready to move to a space in a doorway if I feel the need.

I hope that you enjoy a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Healthy New Year!

@rosemarya One advice I can offer is remember about germs and Buffets. Typically in large groups its like a buffet as bowls get passed around. I recommend asking the host to put a plate aside with the items you want ahead of time and then grab it as everyone else sits down to eat. Helps keep those little hands that ultimately get into the food as its passed around. At first it bothered me to ask but after I explained it has become the standard that I'm asked what I want first.

Merry Christmas 🎁 during this holiday my 94 year old mother has a event at her house she has 27 grandchildren which half of them are usually sick but the parents still bring them so all together around 40 people in a small living room and my choice for my health is I stay home unfortunately, last Christmas I was in ICU for a few days and I visited my mom after Christmas and discovered she was deathly sick from her party and immediately taken to the hospital, see I was right, couldn’t watch her because I was recovering from a major surgery from a hernia repair more fun . I d say if you have a small family your good mine is very large 38 stockings on the mantle. Again Merry Christmas and stay safe