Holidays are not happy, family times for everyone

I loved reading this and completely agree as my family is very small, too. I am saddened by the blatant commercialism to purchase things that we just don't really need. What a waste of the earth's resources! The best we can do is make positive memories by giving love to others, rather than things!

I loved reading this and completely agree as my family is very small, too. I am saddened by the blatant commercialism to purchase things that we just don't really need. What a waste of the earth's resources! The best we can do is make positive memories by giving love to others, rather than things!

I loved reading this and completely agree as my family is very small, too. I am saddened by the blatant commercialism to purchase things that we just don't really need. What a waste of the earth's resources! The best we can do is make positive memories by giving love to others, rather than things!

@karen00 It's good to know we are not alone, and that is why I posted the topic. You know, one thing we could do is get a bowl and write the names of our Mayo friends who are alone for the holidays and put the names in the bowl. Then we could include them in our prayers of gratitude and blessings.
Carol

@retiredteacher Hi Carol! I’m listening to the rain on this cold, dreary night. Boy, do I hate that sound! Rain and cold are double whammies for those of us with rheumatoid arthritis. However, I’m resolved to remember how happy I am to have my hearing. What joy I get out of listening to music - especially my beloved disco (LOL!). My hearing enabled me to have much success at the piano. Anyway, I wondered how you made it through the season. If you’ve already shared, I apologize. I’ve been not as diligent about keeping up. So I believe I’ve succeeded in not going down into that depression hole- I hope you have, too!
...............Karen

Hi All:

I just saw this article in a Mayo Clinic email newsletter and thought you all might find it helpful. It's titled, "Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping." Here is the article.

The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few.

But with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression/ When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.

Try these alternatives:

Donate to a charity in someone's name.; Give homemade gifts.; Start a family gift exchange.; Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.

Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.

Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
Try these suggestions: Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.; Get plenty of sleep.
Incorporate regular physical activity into each day.

Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.

Some options may include: Taking a walk at night and stargazing. Listening to soothing music. Getting a massage. Reading a book.

Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or mental health professional.

Take control of the holidays. Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, so you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find peace and joy during the holidays.

As my mom died just a couple of days ago, on the afternoon of Thanksgiving, I'm thinking of how I can approach the upcoming holidays with optimism and energy. My take-aways from this article are to "acknowledge my feelings" and allow myself to feel grief and loss and not try to "force myself to feel happy."

After reading this, what are your "take-aways?" What can you do to make the holidays less stressful?

Well, it may be a little late to start this discussion again, but I’m sure that everyone has excellent ideas to share!
You know, the holidays aren’t what TV and commercials show it to be. For most of us it is a quiet time with family. But not everyone has a close family. And, because of the covid changing everything, even close families might not be so close at the moment. This might be a good time for us to share how we made the holidays special for ourselves and others. I’ll start.
As an army brat and army wife, i can remember so many occasions when it was just our little family at holiday time. But, we decided to share the day with others who also didn’t have family around. In Germany, we included a group of soldiers on Christmas; in Boston, my husband got the other grad students together and we had a pot luck Thanksgiving with all the foreign students; in New York the students couldn’t go home for Thanksgiving, so we had them to our house; in Virginia we sponsored 2 foreign officers and included them in all our activities. We had such fun and it made the days brighter and less lonely.
Can you share any traditions you have started that make your holidays less lonely.
What have you and a friend discussed that you can do to make a new tradition?
What tips would you give someone else?

Well, it may be a little late to start this discussion again, but I’m sure that everyone has excellent ideas to share!
You know, the holidays aren’t what TV and commercials show it to be. For most of us it is a quiet time with family. But not everyone has a close family. And, because of the covid changing everything, even close families might not be so close at the moment. This might be a good time for us to share how we made the holidays special for ourselves and others. I’ll start.
As an army brat and army wife, i can remember so many occasions when it was just our little family at holiday time. But, we decided to share the day with others who also didn’t have family around. In Germany, we included a group of soldiers on Christmas; in Boston, my husband got the other grad students together and we had a pot luck Thanksgiving with all the foreign students; in New York the students couldn’t go home for Thanksgiving, so we had them to our house; in Virginia we sponsored 2 foreign officers and included them in all our activities. We had such fun and it made the days brighter and less lonely.
Can you share any traditions you have started that make your holidays less lonely.
What have you and a friend discussed that you can do to make a new tradition?
What tips would you give someone else?