Holidays and unusual depression

Posted by teacher502 @teacher502, Dec 21, 2021

My sweet husband has been able to remain active and very helpful during this Thanksgiving season - until this past weekend - a few days before Christmas. All of a sudden his demeanor has drastically changed to very quiet, withdrawn, obviously sad. He tried to tell me how he feels but he simply said, "It is weird. I can't find the words." I see changes going on right now, but this deep depression is rather sudden and different. Can anyone explain why this is happening? All of our children and grandchildren are coming for about 3 days and staying with us. I do know that part of it is that he is worried that I am doing too much, but I have worked very careful at planning and having everything ready. He is also sleeping more and more during this time.. Any insights would be greatly appreciated. We all want this time to be very special for him.

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@teacher502

Oh wow! Your words have helped so much. While the children and grandchildren love being here together, I may have to figure out how to adjust these visits to make it easier for both of us. We are a great team and so very much in love. Thank you for sharing and helping us with your life experiences. Closing with a grateful heart! ❤

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@teacher502 figuring out how to adjust the visits to work for everyone can be difficult but it can be done. Is there somewhere in your town that your children and their children could go for a couple of hours (like to see the lights and decorations)? Maybe 1 adult child could stay behind and have some one-on-one time with their dad. You could set this up so each child could have their own time alone with their dad. And, of course, you would stay there so he would feel safe.
Do you think this, or something like this, could work?

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Wow! That is not only a great idea, but it would be beneficial for everyone. We would all get bits of time together as a family and increments of one on one time for just about each person. Thanks for such a simple, but quite wonderful suggestion!

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I guess we are in the same boat. My wife was diagnosed with MCI a few years back and we were told by multiple specialists, there is nothing consistent with MCI, each case is unique and progresses at it's own pace. My wife (of 52 years) has been great till two days before Xmas, then she started with the anxiety about not buying gifts (we both did), not wrapping gifts (I did), not having gifts for the grandkids (or our kids and spouses). she was upset about a dozen times a day till after Christmas. Then she didn't remember giving the kids their gifts (I did). It didn't help that our son had Covid and his family (including grandkids) couldn't visit us. We face timed but she didn't understand or remember facetiming. This has been the worse Christmas in our 52 years! However, I still have her next to me at night and I wake up to her with her arm wrapped around me, for that I am thankful! If I can wake up with her arm around me every morning, I am a happy camper.

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@teacher502

Wow! That is not only a great idea, but it would be beneficial for everyone. We would all get bits of time together as a family and increments of one on one time for just about each person. Thanks for such a simple, but quite wonderful suggestion!

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@teacher502 So, how did the holiday get together go? Was your husband able to enjoy the kids and grandkids without too much anxiety?

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@becsbuddy

@teacher502 So, how did the holiday get together go? Was your husband able to enjoy the kids and grandkids without too much anxiety?

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Thank you for thinking of us!! It was a great time, but he was "with us" at times and sound asleep in the middle of us at other times. Most of the time, he seemed happy, but there were times that I took him to the bedroom for some quiet, decompressing time. The age range was from age 66 - 10 months. Of the 12 people that were in our home, 5 developed Covid! All of them were the adults in their 30's (the working people) and the virus was discovered within 24 hours after they all left! We are fine though and both of us slept for a few days afterward. He has been great at helping me get the decorations down and getting the house back in order. Everyone made sure to make this holiday about their dad, and he was grateful for their time. The guys took the kids off for outings to the park or to see the lights -we have a water tower that lights up in rhythm to Christmas tunes! (Can you tell we live in a small town?)The girls cooked, cleaned, and ordered me out of the kitchen which gave me more quality time with my husband and more time to spend with the five grands! We will do some different things next year, and I am grateful for all of the advice that was shared in this post. I am also very grateful for those that are willing to share this journey with us and each other! God bless!

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@teacher502

Thank you for thinking of us!! It was a great time, but he was "with us" at times and sound asleep in the middle of us at other times. Most of the time, he seemed happy, but there were times that I took him to the bedroom for some quiet, decompressing time. The age range was from age 66 - 10 months. Of the 12 people that were in our home, 5 developed Covid! All of them were the adults in their 30's (the working people) and the virus was discovered within 24 hours after they all left! We are fine though and both of us slept for a few days afterward. He has been great at helping me get the decorations down and getting the house back in order. Everyone made sure to make this holiday about their dad, and he was grateful for their time. The guys took the kids off for outings to the park or to see the lights -we have a water tower that lights up in rhythm to Christmas tunes! (Can you tell we live in a small town?)The girls cooked, cleaned, and ordered me out of the kitchen which gave me more quality time with my husband and more time to spend with the five grands! We will do some different things next year, and I am grateful for all of the advice that was shared in this post. I am also very grateful for those that are willing to share this journey with us and each other! God bless!

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So happy to hear you both had a good time and a nice holiday with your family. Best wishes for a good 2022, Teri

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@tsc

So happy to hear you both had a good time and a nice holiday with your family. Best wishes for a good 2022, Teri

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Same to you, Teri!

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