Holiday Feelings: Are They Merry or Stressful?

Posted by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor @hopeful33250, Dec 18, 2018

We are in the middle of a holiday season marked by twinkling lights, music, movies and sentiments that are supposed to bring joy and cheer. What if you don’t feel those sentiments right now? Is that OK?

Perhaps you have experienced difficulties, maybe health problems, loss of a job, or loss of a loved one. Maybe it is not possible to work-up the holiday cheer that everyone else experiences.

What do we do with the holidays if we are not feeling cheerful and upbeat?

Let's share together what you are doing with your less-than-merry holiday feelings.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

@suerc

well I don't know if you all remember me but I just need to vent. This contractor is still here working, However at Christmas I told him we were going to my sons in Rodchester and when we get home all this crap should be out of the house and the garage. I said if it is not I will personaly do it myself. He said oh you cant do that. So we left for the weekend and when we came home it was all gone. Yay. He didn't come back to work till yesterday to grout. we are working on the shower . he came to work yesterday at 2:30 and left at 6:30. only got half the shower done. at this rate it will take him another month. we are on our 4th month now and I feel like my space is so invaded !!! I have had a broken back. I just want to lay down in my own bed and rest and I cant and I just want to cry.

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hugs dear woman, hugs. At least you got part of what you wanted. Having no control is the worse part. Yes, I can think of many "guy" solutions such as having someone else finish it, not paying him(an option?) locking up all his tools, taking him to court, etc but that doesn't help getting it done any sooner. Royal Caribbean has a nice cruise Jan 24-Feb 2 to Bahamas? Yes, it is so nice being in your own bed. Hugs again sweet woman, eventually it will pass, like a kidney stone.

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@suerc

well I don't know if you all remember me but I just need to vent. This contractor is still here working, However at Christmas I told him we were going to my sons in Rodchester and when we get home all this crap should be out of the house and the garage. I said if it is not I will personaly do it myself. He said oh you cant do that. So we left for the weekend and when we came home it was all gone. Yay. He didn't come back to work till yesterday to grout. we are working on the shower . he came to work yesterday at 2:30 and left at 6:30. only got half the shower done. at this rate it will take him another month. we are on our 4th month now and I feel like my space is so invaded !!! I have had a broken back. I just want to lay down in my own bed and rest and I cant and I just want to cry.

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@users Are you in a position to call in another contractor to finish the job, and fire this current guy? Then report him to state contractor's board, Better Business Bureau, Yelp, and Nextdoor. Like others have mentioned, I hope you have not paid him at this point. Does he have a plausible reason for being so slow? I sincerely hope you achieve results soon!
Ginger

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@gingerw

@users Are you in a position to call in another contractor to finish the job, and fire this current guy? Then report him to state contractor's board, Better Business Bureau, Yelp, and Nextdoor. Like others have mentioned, I hope you have not paid him at this point. Does he have a plausible reason for being so slow? I sincerely hope you achieve results soon!
Ginger

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My husband won't let me because we are so close to being finished.

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@suerc

My husband won't let me because we are so close to being finished.

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He said he is just slow. I told him when he took on this project if he could not finish this in a reasonable amount of time he should have told us. And 4 mo is not reasonable.. are there any contractors out there. Do we have to pay him the full amount of the bid ?

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@suerc

He said he is just slow. I told him when he took on this project if he could not finish this in a reasonable amount of time he should have told us. And 4 mo is not reasonable.. are there any contractors out there. Do we have to pay him the full amount of the bid ?

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@suerc did you have a contract with him? If you did and he isn't complying I think you can if you didn't have a contract with him then I would say he,s just taking his time ?

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@lioness

@suerc did you have a contract with him? If you did and he isn't complying I think you can if you didn't have a contract with him then I would say he,s just taking his time ?

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We are not paying by the hour. And my husband has already chimed in and said will pay no more than the bid. We can't go over that. The weird thing is is that the guy we wanted to do the project was remodeling my sister's house. When I talked to him in Sept he said he was a ways out. He called me just after Christmas and said he has time now. At that point my husband said no we are to far into this. I talked to mark the other contractor and told him the situation. He said. You always clean up after yourself every night. You don't take up both stalls of there garage for 3 1/2 mo and you certainly do not put a wet saw in there bed room for over a week to cut tile. He said after Christmas if this guy does not come back or something to let him know. Last night I told this man he needs to be done with my bathroom by next Friday or else. He has to grout a 6 × 6 floor put 2 bars up on the shower wall. The shower door. Install toilet and sink and mirror. It's a race against time how many think he can do it ???

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@suerc

We are not paying by the hour. And my husband has already chimed in and said will pay no more than the bid. We can't go over that. The weird thing is is that the guy we wanted to do the project was remodeling my sister's house. When I talked to him in Sept he said he was a ways out. He called me just after Christmas and said he has time now. At that point my husband said no we are to far into this. I talked to mark the other contractor and told him the situation. He said. You always clean up after yourself every night. You don't take up both stalls of there garage for 3 1/2 mo and you certainly do not put a wet saw in there bed room for over a week to cut tile. He said after Christmas if this guy does not come back or something to let him know. Last night I told this man he needs to be done with my bathroom by next Friday or else. He has to grout a 6 × 6 floor put 2 bars up on the shower wall. The shower door. Install toilet and sink and mirror. It's a race against time how many think he can do it ???

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@surec Glad you gave him a timeline that might make him move faster 😕

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@lioness

@surec Glad you gave him a timeline that might make him move faster 😕

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We gave him 1 time line before December 18 th

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@suerc

We gave him 1 time line before December 18 th

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@suerc Only recourse I know of report him to the contractors union? I don't know

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@lioness

@suerc Only recourse I know of report him to the contractors union? I don't know

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He did not come today !! Funny that

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