Gaslighting?

Posted by fingerlessknitts @fingerlessknitts, Dec 15, 2023

July 31/2023
I had a 2 hour zoom meeting with a physiologist for anxiety and depression (longest 2 hour ever) a lot of questions were ask. I’ve received the meeting report from my gp. There are statements on the report that I did not make directly, the physiologist suggested that “abc” may be the cause and on the report it says I said “abc” all I did was shrug and say I didn’t know. There are also a few other minor differences as well
Suggested was made to seek further counselling …. How do I deal with my lack of trust ?
And no I do not want to talk to this (. ) again!!

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I went through a similar thing with my PCP. I reached out to her through the email portal and asked her to please change the statements that were not true. She did make an amendment to the note.
Later when I had my physical, she wrote all these things she examined which she didn’t. It was rather shocking to read things that she said she examined that she didn’t.
I’ve been going through some complicated health issues the past few years and my experience with the medical community hasn’t been good. I think many doctors are burnt out.

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I hope there are other therapists that you can check out. Because I live in a rural community, therapists stay only a year or so, so in the past 18 years I've seen 14. Most were okay. A few were very helpful, and it was really hard to see them leave. It's hard for me to start with a new one because I have so much history, and I feel like I'm starting all over. My current one will retire one of these years.

I try to have a written list of things I want to talk with the doctor about. I also use the portal - that's a good way to stay on top of everything. Don't be afraid to hold your care team accountable. Keep doing what you're doing. We have to be able to speak up for ourselves when it comes to medical issues because we know ourselves best, better than any doctor or therapist.

I'm glad you are being proactive. Take care of yourself.

Jim

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@tricia7

I went through a similar thing with my PCP. I reached out to her through the email portal and asked her to please change the statements that were not true. She did make an amendment to the note.
Later when I had my physical, she wrote all these things she examined which she didn’t. It was rather shocking to read things that she said she examined that she didn’t.
I’ve been going through some complicated health issues the past few years and my experience with the medical community hasn’t been good. I think many doctors are burnt out.

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I agree with you. One of my doctors noted my BP as 180/85 or something, when it, in fact, is always 110/64ish. I called and had her do an addendum to that page. She balked that it had been submitted to my insurance co already and I said, "So what! Submit an addendum to insurance co please and send me a copy." We must hold docs accountable. One doctor had my height as 5'1". I'm 5'7". That may sound insignificant, but that could put me in an obese catagory if I was a heavy person at 5'7"; imagine at 5'1"? Be aware and diligent, read everything and ask questions. Most doctors are great and I do not take that from the good ones.

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@tricia7

I went through a similar thing with my PCP. I reached out to her through the email portal and asked her to please change the statements that were not true. She did make an amendment to the note.
Later when I had my physical, she wrote all these things she examined which she didn’t. It was rather shocking to read things that she said she examined that she didn’t.
I’ve been going through some complicated health issues the past few years and my experience with the medical community hasn’t been good. I think many doctors are burnt out.

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I don’t think they are burnt out. I think they need to “check all boxes” and if they haven’t discussed something, they will write that they did.

This happened to me with a resident; the young doctor decided to support him. It was cancer. It’s 4 & 1/2 months ago & I’m still sick & confused by their attitudes. I believe I was used as a model for the doctor to teach the resident. Penn Med, PA.

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It was disheartening to read all the comments on what is happening (or really not) in the medical profession today. And I know every incident true. The doctors of today are not the doctors of our childhood.
The bottom line in hospital care "business" today is the dollar sign. Hospitals/medical practices merging, providers moving around for the highest salary, decreased work hours and decrease work load. The medical care paperwork must adhere to the guidelines of medicare, medicaid and all medical insurances. The documentation must be right on for hospital inspections in order for a hospital to continue to receive insurance payments and stay open. So it is very often "made up" if not discussed in an examination room, often "forgotten" by medical assistants (they are rushing to go home on time) in taking (for example) a blood pressure - so it is "made up". And very sadly, (for example again) a blood pressure might be very high and it's 4:30 PM on a Friday afternoon and the office staff doesn't want to stay longer and "deal" with it. So it is documented as "normal" and the patient simply sent home. In the field of psychiatry the providers must be especially careful to "check all the bases"...but this takes "time" and "time is money". The goal is to see the most number of patients in the least amount of time no matter the specialty. And, therefore, lots of issues documented that were never even discussed on the discharge "paperwork". What's the answer? This is a tough one but you MUST be your own best advocate...and if you can not be, you must have an advocate for you!! The squeaky wheel gets the grease. And remember, there are always "patient advocates" who are on staff in hospitals. If something is done which you know is wrong - call them! You, as a patient, have rights! And never have a medical procedure scheduled on a Thursday or Friday. Always Monday-Wednesday. There are always staffing shortages on weekends. And in medical offices they are always "office managers" to report what you feel/know something is not "right"...not satisfied? Go up the chain of command. Accountability is a must when it comes to one's health!
And if something "off" is done to you - it's done to others as well.
Shameful, I know, but unfortunately this is the way it now is the health care profession. A good doctor and health team worth their weight in gold. And they are out there...but so hard to find. Good luck to all.

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@elanatree

I don’t think they are burnt out. I think they need to “check all boxes” and if they haven’t discussed something, they will write that they did.

This happened to me with a resident; the young doctor decided to support him. It was cancer. It’s 4 & 1/2 months ago & I’m still sick & confused by their attitudes. I believe I was used as a model for the doctor to teach the resident. Penn Med, PA.

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Disgustingly common, and techs do it too!. I was scanned and the tech wrote that he could see both of my ovaries and my appendix clearly. I had one ovary damaged by an earlier surgery and my appendix was removed when I was 9 years old! To them, it is just hitting buttons and filling in data they forgot to take note of, but to patients it could be the denial of a much- needed test or of insurance coverage.
Also, when I was asked to painstakingly fill out thick survey of medical conditions within my family and extended family, whomever entered the data must have gotten lazy because they left half of the repot out and they misattributed what they DID entered to incorrect family members ( which definitely could exclude me from coverage or testing!). When I brought it up with my doctor he shrugged it off and made a joke about it! Even when I pressed, they refused to correct their “official document”. So, I wrote an “official” medical message, that is supposed to stay part of my official record, and stated all of the errors and detailed the lack of concern.
If this is how it is now, I am sickened to think where high risk patients and the retired will be for care a generation or two from now.

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@inminn

Disgustingly common, and techs do it too!. I was scanned and the tech wrote that he could see both of my ovaries and my appendix clearly. I had one ovary damaged by an earlier surgery and my appendix was removed when I was 9 years old! To them, it is just hitting buttons and filling in data they forgot to take note of, but to patients it could be the denial of a much- needed test or of insurance coverage.
Also, when I was asked to painstakingly fill out thick survey of medical conditions within my family and extended family, whomever entered the data must have gotten lazy because they left half of the repot out and they misattributed what they DID entered to incorrect family members ( which definitely could exclude me from coverage or testing!). When I brought it up with my doctor he shrugged it off and made a joke about it! Even when I pressed, they refused to correct their “official document”. So, I wrote an “official” medical message, that is supposed to stay part of my official record, and stated all of the errors and detailed the lack of concern.
If this is how it is now, I am sickened to think where high risk patients and the retired will be for care a generation or two from now.

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OMG - this is SOOOOOOOO true!

I've experienced it in many ways, from the angst of months of reinfections (10 surgeries to clean out hospital-born infections! during a hospital stay!!) after my father's back surgery in 2012-13, to being in a "clean ward", where ALL persons in the room had to don gowns, gloves & masks to enter - and where the NURSES entering threw one arm in a gown, if that, and didn't even use the disinfectectant dispenser on the way in!!! And they're in & out of an even higher quarantine patient room next door!!!!

It's amazing - with all due respect to the many doctors and facilities that do do it right, if you can find them - that anything goes without a glitch or worse!

I have always asked a good number of well-informed, well-researched Qs, and more often than not they are ignored by the doctor, or treated as bothersome, and then - yes! when you do fill out those pre-op Qs - esp. when you're NOT FEELING WELL, and you spend 10 minutes and refer to past paperwork to answer their "Pre-Registration" Qs, they call b/c they need to .... ASK YOU THOSE SAME Qs!

Excuse my caps, in a way, but since we don't seem to have underlining or boldface capabilities in our posting forum here, it's the next best thing to convey some emotion, right?

What a waste of OUR time. And then, they enter something that - as you indicated in your post with alarmingly obvious examples of their (gross) negligence! - has no basis in reality & likely could lead to misdiagnoses, insurance issues (which you'd probably never know they were the source of), and on and on.

I don't have answers, but being our own advocates seems the only choice, and I really have to wonder how much advocacy the hospital's "Patient Advocates" really offer, as that's like settling with an insurance company's offer when it is in THEIR interests - not yours - to get it over with.

AND, so importantly as you stated, how on earth could someone really plagued with ongoing pain, disability, age challenges, not to mention financial concerns, POSSIBLY be expected to negotiate this quagmire of obstacles, all placed there for the very reason of discouraging the patient's efforts while ensuring the insurance entity's pockets and executives and shareholders are deeply compensated - in what is really an abuse of the weakest at the most vulnerable time of their lives.

AND our society / judicial system has not provided any significant across-the-board accountability that acts as any kind of deterrent to these practices, and no directives that make the system any more user-friendly to those most in need.

I'll need to leave it at that for now, and again, I have great respect for the systems that perform in the interest of their patients (unwitting customers we are), and navigate this mess with grace, and intelligence, warmth and informed, state-of-the-art outcomes. (Phew! 🤷‍♀️🤞)

PS - Many many thanks to Mayo Clinic Connect - you and your mentors, volunteers, and participants have made a significant difference in my life - in terms of feeling validated, hopeful, and less isolated, Thank you. 👏

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