For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

Posted by ginger123 @ginger123, Feb 18, 2024

As I age, not having children or close family, I’m beginning to ask myself who will see to my care, when I can no longer take care of myself. And, who should I name in my Will to be executor….. I don’t want to burden friends, as I have a complicated estate. And friends my age have their own challenges..

I’m fortunate to have financial resources, but no children or close family. I’d like to get things in order while I’m still healthy. May I have your ideas?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

Profile picture for pvctom2021 @pvctom2021

Hello Ginger,

Your post is very relevant to a lot of worries that many of us wake up with.. certainly myself included..my wife and I have no children and a few distant relatives that we haven’t seen in years…all of our frierhsve passed on or moved on…what we have is an attorney to be executer if both of us are gone…we have a pretty good estate and both of our retirement incomes make us comfortable but not worry free, and for the exact reasons you have mentioned in the title and context of your post…truth is I don’t know..and it scares me…it’s most likely one of the reasons for my morning anxiety…we live in an over 55 community ( that sounds young !) and we have seen over the last 10 years folks be cared for by their children or relatives and eventually just going..my suggestion to you — who have tirelessly helped so many here, is to perhaps find an attorney or a law firm that you can trust to be executer for you..that’s a big trust leap and bound..but I think it’s something that is important and thanks 🙏 for bringing this topic up…my next door neighbor has had to struggle with health problems and it’s depressing… I wonder how I would hold up..he’s lost his wife, his son rarely comes by…but yes we are pretty much where you are with our situation…we will have to see an attorney soon to have our will updated…. I can’t think of anything else … I hope 🤞 the best decision for you…🙏pvctom

Jump to this post

I just lost my husband this year and have no kids. This is my biggest concern. I have a will, concierge doctor, and financial resources and feel vulnerable. I also have a rare heart condition that takes me to Mayo Clinic every year. This is a good blog and I hope to learn more ways of taking care of myself.

REPLY
Profile picture for UCONN @uconn

I just lost my husband this year and have no kids. This is my biggest concern. I have a will, concierge doctor, and financial resources and feel vulnerable. I also have a rare heart condition that takes me to Mayo Clinic every year. This is a good blog and I hope to learn more ways of taking care of myself.

Jump to this post

@uconn
This is a very nice place to be…. I get the feeling of having others to share with especially when I feel anxious or nervous or just plain lonely…my truest sympathies for your loss…You have come to a nice place for support and good advice from mentors and others here…🙏pvctom

REPLY

When I hear of the passing of someone newsworthy and they say that the person died in their sleep. I always say how lucky can you be? That is what I want! If only.....fall asleep one night and just never wake up.

REPLY

Those who do not have children usually don't know that even if one has children they can still be totally alone. I have four kids, they are too busy with their lives to even text or call and I am rather glad they must all be happy as the only time I hear from them is to fix a problem? lol.

I have realized I can't count on either of them, so I just accept I am on my own, and plan like they don't exist.

REPLY

Wow, I sure get it. We have a will and other important papers in order, and have named a nephew as executor since he is an attorney. I have been rethinking this, though, since he has young children and a very busy life—and he lives in another state. I’ve got to figure this out soon—husband is disabled and has some dementia, so I am pretty much on my own except for friends. Very scary.

REPLY

I can relate to many who have had many birthdays and have increasing concern about “what if I can’t take care of everything any longer!”
My husband and I faced the fact that even though we have 4 children between us, we are alone when/if faced with a health disability. No one is coming to take care of us!
We researched retirement communities that offered independent, assisted, nursing lifestyles available. We sold all real estate, pared down our furnishings, and moved into a “Continuing Care & Retirement Community” (CCRC) that gave us a Lifetime Guarantee.
We are celebrating our 10th year and enjoy our independence while having free transportation, 3 in-house restaurant options for meals, utilities, 5 laundry facilities, putting green, outdoor pool, 4star fitness facility, library, varied activities & classes, plus 24/7 EMT and wellness nurse included in our monthly fee.
I would recommend that you research CCRC facilities around the country to evaluate pros &cons for yourself. Be aware of the many services you are now paying monthly that would be eliminated by a move like we did.
My husband and I have only a couple bills monthly - auto insurance & maintenance we chose to pay until we decide to sell the car and have a chauffeur here, like many of our neighbors. We have free housekeeping services weekly with linens provided. There are many more perks to check on.
You too can have peace of mind knowing that help is readily available when you need it. Our choice is not for everyone, but I believe it is worth every senior’s research before settling for a lower standard of living.
Check it out. Best… dbamos2945

REPLY
Profile picture for dbamos1945 @dbamos1945

I can relate to many who have had many birthdays and have increasing concern about “what if I can’t take care of everything any longer!”
My husband and I faced the fact that even though we have 4 children between us, we are alone when/if faced with a health disability. No one is coming to take care of us!
We researched retirement communities that offered independent, assisted, nursing lifestyles available. We sold all real estate, pared down our furnishings, and moved into a “Continuing Care & Retirement Community” (CCRC) that gave us a Lifetime Guarantee.
We are celebrating our 10th year and enjoy our independence while having free transportation, 3 in-house restaurant options for meals, utilities, 5 laundry facilities, putting green, outdoor pool, 4star fitness facility, library, varied activities & classes, plus 24/7 EMT and wellness nurse included in our monthly fee.
I would recommend that you research CCRC facilities around the country to evaluate pros &cons for yourself. Be aware of the many services you are now paying monthly that would be eliminated by a move like we did.
My husband and I have only a couple bills monthly - auto insurance & maintenance we chose to pay until we decide to sell the car and have a chauffeur here, like many of our neighbors. We have free housekeeping services weekly with linens provided. There are many more perks to check on.
You too can have peace of mind knowing that help is readily available when you need it. Our choice is not for everyone, but I believe it is worth every senior’s research before settling for a lower standard of living.
Check it out. Best… dbamos2945

Jump to this post

These ideas sound useful if one has the financial resources. I am concerned about my future - 84 years old, living by self, fairly healthy for my age and still able to take care of myself. My worries are that I will become disabled, either mentally or physically and have no place to go other than a nursing home. Not a problem except that we know many of the homes have difficulty taking care of their patients due to a lack of funds. The stories the residents tell are sad - lie in bed for hours with wet 'diapers', have to use the bathroom but need help which is not always available on the spot, falling from bed or while up on their feet and incurring injuries that are not always looked after immediately following the fall, etc. I admit I'm worried about my future as I age....my hope is I die at home, peacefully. I don't want to continue living without the privilege of having what I need to in order to make my last years comfortable

REPLY
Profile picture for mtnmarge @mtnmarge

These ideas sound useful if one has the financial resources. I am concerned about my future - 84 years old, living by self, fairly healthy for my age and still able to take care of myself. My worries are that I will become disabled, either mentally or physically and have no place to go other than a nursing home. Not a problem except that we know many of the homes have difficulty taking care of their patients due to a lack of funds. The stories the residents tell are sad - lie in bed for hours with wet 'diapers', have to use the bathroom but need help which is not always available on the spot, falling from bed or while up on their feet and incurring injuries that are not always looked after immediately following the fall, etc. I admit I'm worried about my future as I age....my hope is I die at home, peacefully. I don't want to continue living without the privilege of having what I need to in order to make my last years comfortable

Jump to this post

Moving to a retirement community while you still
have your marbles is probably the best option. Just be sure to research which communities have the best reputation
and GET ON A WAITING LIST NOW !! Since you don't know when you will need to or want to move. There is a long waiting list for where we are so I was so relieved when my husband's health necessitated the move, & I had been on the list for years=called planning ahead!! good luck. K

REPLY

Wow a lot to digest. First off the CRC community sounds wonderful. I had never even heard of such a place. There must be a income requirement for admission. Would love to know what that is. Also I have heard of attorneys named as executors of wills. My 2 adult children also live 3000 miles away and I question whether they would help out if needed. How did we raise these children to be so indifferent? I don't have any answers.

REPLY

I used AI to find the following: What Is Independent Living in Mexico?

Independent living communities aim to offer adults—particularly retirees—a comfortable, social environment with access to services and amenities, without the intensive medical support found in assisted or nursing homes
International Living
seniorslivingmexico.com
.

Many senior developments now include on-site medical or wellness support, communal dining, recreation, exercise spaces, and sometimes transitions to assisted care when needed
International Living
expatinsurance.com
.

Popular Locations & Notable Communities

Lake Chapala / Ajijic (Jalisco) – A hub for expats and retirees:

Namaste Lake Chapala: An intentional co-housing community of tiny houses with monthly fees around $1,200–$1,800 USD. Its focus is on sustainable aging-in-place
Wellness Shepherd
The Mazatlan Post
.

Rancho La Salud Village: Another co-housing model featuring larger homes designed for green, independent living; no communal meals are provided
Wellness Shepherd
The Mazatlan Post
.

Emerging Life-Plan Communities: Projects under development include developments in Lake Chapala offering independent living plus future assisted or nursing care transitions
expatinsurance.com
The Mazatlan Post
.

San Miguel de Allende / Colonial Highlands:

Cielito Lindo: Located near San Miguel de Allende, offers a continuum that spans independent villas to full Alzheimer’s care. It includes meal plans and access to onsite nurses and doctors
International Living
.

Casa Cieneguita: A local option in San Miguel de Allende offering independent-living arrangements
International Living
.

Other Regions:

Baja California: Facilities such as Residencia Lourdes Pacifica in Ensenada and Serena Senior Care in Rosarito cater to varying levels of care
International Living
.

Mexico City: The upscale Belmont Village in Santa Fe is currently one of the largest assisted living residences and could include elements akin to independent living
mexico-newsletter.com
.

Additional Expats’ Communities: Popular retirement locales like Puerto Vallarta, Merida, Mazatlan, Guanajuato City, Playa del Carmen, Lake Chapala, San Miguel de Allende, and Mérida are drawing interest due to lower cost of living and expat-friendly infrastructure
Kiplinger
expatinsurance.com
mexico-newsletter.com
The Mazatlan Post
.

Cost & Lifestyle Overview

Prices: Independent living tends to be more affordable than the United States. Co-housing models average $1,200–1,800 USD/month, while broader assisted living can range $600–3,500 USD/month depending on amenities and location
Wellness Shepherd
The Mazatlan Post
expatinsurance.com
Elder Guru
mexico-newsletter.com
.

Medical Services: Some facilities include on-site healthcare (e.g., visiting doctors or nurses). However, Medicare is not accepted, and supplemental private or international health insurance is typically necessary
Elder Guru
expatinsurance.com
mexico-newsletter.com
+1
International Living
.

Regulation: Mexico’s senior living industry is less regulated than in the U.S. The Mexican Association for Assisted Living (AMAR) is working to improve standards, but site visits are critical for evaluating quality
expatinsurance.com
International Living
mexico-newsletter.com
.

Additional Considerations

Language & Culture: Many staff in expat areas speak English, and meals and daily life often reflect local flavors and customs. Still, learning some Spanish can enhance experience and integration
Elder Guru
expatinsurance.com
mexico-newsletter.com
.

Location & Access: Proximity to U.S. border cities offers easier access for medical trips or family visits. Inland locations like Lake Chapala, San Miguel de Allende, or Mexico City offer different benefits—from climate to culture
expatinsurance.com
The Mazatlan Post
Kiplinger
Reddit
.

Support & Local Services: Independent living may include housekeeping, meal services, and community interaction. Plus, community programs like INAPAM offer senior discounts and activities (though typically for residents or citizens)
Elder Guru
expatinsurance.com
CasaMar Senior Living
Wikipedia
.

At a Glance: Key Independent Living Communities in Mexico
Community / Location Type & Features Estimated Cost
Namaste Lake Chapala Co-housing tiny houses, sustainable living ~$1,200–1,800 USD/month
Rancho La Salud Village (Ajijic) Green-designed homes, independent lifestyle ~$1,200–1,800 USD/month
Cielito Lindo (near San Miguel) Independent villas, continuum of care including Alzheimer’s Varies; mid-range pricing
Casa Cieneguita Independent living in San Miguel de Allende Varies
Residencia Lourdes Pacifica Specialized care (e.g. Alzheimer’s), Baja region Varies
Serena Senior Care (Rosarito) Assisted living, near U.S. border Varies
Belmont Village (Mexico City) Large-scale facility with assisted-living roof Higher price bracket
Next Steps for You

Narrow down regions — Are you looking for lake-life tranquility (Lake Chapala), colonial charm (San Miguel), beachfront access (Puerto Vallarta, Baja), or urban convenience (Mexico City)?

Plan site visits — Touring facilities, especially during mealtimes and activity hours, gives the best insight into atmosphere, staff interactions, and resident satisfaction.

Evaluate healthcare needs — Ensure there’s accessible medical support locally, and plan for travel insurance or private plans to cover medical requirements.

Connect with local expats and consultants — Senior living advisors like Wellness Shepherd or Seniors Living Mexico can help you tailor choices and transitions
Wellness Shepherd
seniorslivingmexico.com
.

In Summary

Mexico offers diverse and affordable independent living options for retirees—from co-housing communities around Lake Chapala to full-service retirement complexes like Cielito Lindo. Pros include lower costs, warm culture, and attractive locales; however, regulation varies and healthcare planning is key. If you can clarify your ideal region or preferences (e.g., climate, services, budget), I’d be happy to help you narrow it further!

Feel free to share more on your preferences or I'll help you dive deeper into specific communities or regions when you're ready.

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.