Feeling guilty re: trying to get better after being depressed so long

@kayraymat I’m 9 months into grieving the loss of my wife of 58 years and understand grief. Mine has gone beyond the depression that comes with it into moderate depression. I have had clinical depression in the past and the grief brought it on again. I started antidepressants under psychiatric supervision and am doing better now. Could this be a help for you? Some people are averse to psychiatrists and drugs but if needed to have a better life then that’s the way to go in my opinion.

@grasping There are many antidepressants that are not SSRI’s. A good psychiatrist will be able to evaluate and prescribe something for you. It can be trial and error of course but depression stinks and it’s worth effort to get it treated.

An effective medical treatment for my lifelong depression was found when I was on the cusp of 60. One thing I've tried to do since is reach back to others still suffering. Just listen and offer encouragement and perhaps suggestions and words along the lines of, "you're not alone in this."

I can't treat their condition. Depression has many causes, and as everyone on this forum knows, there isn't a magic cure. Or any cure at all. It's chronic and by and large can only be managed. But it can be managed successfully for some. It sounds like you're there. So just by being present as someone who's on the other side of it, you're providing hope.

I consider myself fortunate. I escaped it. But now I'm able to say to sufferers with a clearer mind than I could when I was in the depths of it, "what you are enduring is real," and say that from the viewpoint of someone who was hospitalized when I became a danger to myself. Lending support to others means talking about your own experience, and talking is so crucial to maintaining your own stability as well. Offering that support for others is therapy for me in my ongoing recovery and might be an avenue for you.

I do also wonder if the guilt feelings might be lingering elements of the depression. Something it might be worth asking your therapist about. And don't quit therapy whatever you do. For me it's been every bit as important to my recovery as the medication I was put on, even though I haven't had a major depressive episode for almost two and a half years now and it would be easy to blow it off. It's a lifeline that helps keep me where I am.

Also, as I said above, depression is real. You weren't faking it. If you were, you wouldn't have needed help. Depression is not something people are inclined to fake. What you're dealing with is a changed way of thinking. That takes a while to get used to. It took me over a year to believe I really was better, and another year to accept this as my normal way of being now. That change doesn't come overnight. Give it time. Enjoy not being depressed. Your mind will adapt.

@joetex
Good for you.
I am a believer in drugs or anything that helps with depression...even music, walking, art, reading about grief & depression and / or just reading in general. Reading takes me somewhere else for awhile & that helps.
I think we are fortunate to live in a time when these drugs are available & there is less stigma about using them. Some scientist / physician worked long & hard to come up with them. It would be a shame to disregard those efforts.

@kayraymat EMDR Therapy, it helped with my sexual abusers and plan on doing more for neglect and guilt

@synthiame - if you've not already checked out some of the Mayo Clinic Connect discussions on EMDR therapy, you may be interested in these:

- Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): Any experience? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/emdr/

- How did treatment with EMD for C-PTSD go? Did it work? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-did-treatment-with-emd-for-c-ptsd-go-did-it-work/

@lisalucier I I didn't about 5 years ago for one special problem a big problem. And it brought me back to the age when this happened and I cried it was a good cry. And I felt a release and I forgave them.