Experiences with Dentists

I would suggest a different dentist. My husband has always hated dentists, pain and shots. We recently began seeing a woman dentist who is amazingly gentle and kind. She knows my husband has dementia and takes extra care to laugh with him and keep his attention so that he is willing to be alone with her for appointments and he does not even ask where I am after arrival. She has two small children and is able to handle him easily. This dentist discovered his tongue cancer and removed two of his teeth that were broken then replaced them with a clip in prosthetic device so he could chew better.

That sounds like a dream come true, @boppi. I will keep that in mind and try to find someone. It sounds like with the right dentist, he may not need general anesthetic.

My husband needed to have dental implants. He has had a 20 plus year relationship with his periodontist but he could not tolerate the incision in his mouth. The periodontist has an anesthesiologist that he works with who came in to the office and administered twilight sedation.

Thank you, @cheryl16. I am working with our regular dentist to find an oral surgeon who will be able to perform the procedure with the appropriate anesthetic administered.

My husband is 79 years old, vascular dementia with deep white matter disease. Please also check with your husband’s PCP, my husband’s does not want him to undergo anesthesia, if at all possible, due to its physical effects on the brains of those with dementia.
His dentist has been very helpful in providing care and the female hygienist is key to getting him laughing and relaxed. They use the x-ray machine intended for those with special needs (it’s like a box he sits inside).
My husband is also more willing if I pair the visit with something he likes afterwards- usually promising a visit to Harbor Freight or Perkins and (yes) if needed, telling him if he doesn’t cooperate, it’s back to home.
Best of luck to you, it’s hard.

Hi @centre, thank you for your support and comments.
In the last two years my husband has had surgeries for a fractured hip, a cataract, and to clear a blocked sinus. He's come out of each well with no cognitive deficits I can identify. As of late, I notice he's improved in his ability to work on jigsaw puzzles, advancing from 16 pieces to 100.
We also have a geratrician who is aware of his needs and helpful. My fear after each surgery was that the anesthesia would set him back, but, thankfully, that hasn't happened.
It would be helpful if I could find a dentist who specialized in patients with special needs, but so far, no luck!
There's so much on us caregivers, learning how to navigate these disorders and get the best care for our loved ones. Learning how to appeal to them to get cooperation and not lose our cool when they do something outlandish, and counting upon the understanding of others when they do.
I always think of that sage British advice pre World War II, "Keep Calm and Carry On." It's something we can do. Also, fight like hell when we have to.
Best to you and your husband.