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Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment

Posted by rhongirl @rhongirl, Aug 23, 2022

While I was diagnosed in Dec. 2019, chemo, cancer surgery, and four more surgeries took place over the next 2 1/2 years (one of which was a second cancer surgery). I'm 6 weeks out from my last surgery, feeling somewhat normal physically, but wading through the emotional aftermath. "What just happened to me?" I told my husband that I've spent the past 2 1/2 years trying to stay alive - and I'm exhausted. Exaggerated emotions with up-and-down mood swings. . . I find myself yearning for that sense of emotional equilibrium I had before this all began. I'm doing my best to give myself time for this part of the healing - but I find myself weary. Family and friends look at me like I'm fine now, and the trauma has passed - but the truth is, I am not fine on the inside. It's as if my body is trying to reboot emotionally, and its short-circuiting a bit. I am so goal-oriented. . . if I just had that "magic" date of when everything would be normal again, I could focus on that; but it doesn't work that way. I have to be patient with this portion of the healing - and I'm finding that hard. What are others' experiences with this? How long does it take for your emotions to settle from the trauma of breast cancer?

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ssmab | @ssmab | 4 hours ago
In reply to @ksue3 "rhongirl, I think you just described me to a tee! The emotions roller coaster is something..." + (show)
@ksue3

rhongirl, I think you just described me to a tee! The emotions roller coaster is something to deal with for sure. I just put a call in to a counselor. I finally decided that after experiencing a panic attack, had episodes of crying, am irritable and in the middle of grief after losing several close family members and friends and tired all of the time. All 2024 I had my mastectomy , chemo, then covid and the losses. I am a widow so no hug when I really need one. I organized a talk about cancer for the active retirement community where I live. About 75 people came. I had a panel of myself and two others, one a male with prostate cancer. I mentioned looking healthy with hair and all, but not being "over it" at all. I think that even those who went through this 30 years ago have forgotten or never experienced the drug induced body and emotional challenges that we do now. I sense that some of my friends are tired of listening to me, but I need to talk. I recently had a visit with a new surgeon regarding another issue. When she told me of her plans for me and listed 1 through3 steps, I started to cry. I said I had been through such a rough year and can't think about more problems and issues. She immediately said, "You need to talk to someone and stop burying these emotions". Another reason I called the counselor. I can't take antidepressants. I know I have things to be grateful for, and I am. I miss feeling normal though. A few days ago I sat down and wrote out all of the things I experienced over the last 16 months. When I saw it all down on paper, I thought no wonder I am struggling. PTSD is used frequently these days when not really the case. However, I suspect that some of us do fit the mold for that diagnosis or nearly so anyway. I appreciate everyone on this site and that you share your own thoughts and feelings. It honestly does help to know that I am not the only one experiencing problems. Another stressor for me is the problem finding a bra and prosthesis that I can stand to wear all day. I really almost wish I had just had the other side removed also and just go flat with tshirts. I have gone for fittings 3 times and nothing works. They all ride up and rub under the sensitive area under the arm. Any ideas?
We can all hang together and get through each step of this journey, not feeling alone.

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Hello ksue3,
I can relate to all of the posts on this thread and I certainly understand your feelings. I think I can help with your bra issue. When I was 70 I had ILC in one breast and IDC in the other breast so I had a DMX (without reconstruction) in March of 2023. I had spinal compression fractures from osteoporosis just about the same time. I am on tamoxifen instead of an AI due to the osteoporosis and that med has made the arthritis I had worse so I just felt like the old me was gone and the new me was dealing with issue after issue. Like you, I found the breast prosthesis uncomfortable, heavy and hot in the summer. I started hunting online for a better bra and prosthetic solution. I found a great mastectomy bra company online. Their bras are soft and comfy and they stay in place. Their breast forms are lightweight and you can use them for swimming too. They are very helpful online and get back to you within a day or so if you ask questions about their products on their site. They have single and double forms. You can find them at bustedtank.com
I hope this info can help you and others in our situation. I have a fatty sensitive area in one armpit since the mastectomy that is bothered if a bra rubs on it so I turn that area on the bra down and stitch it on my sewing machine so it stays away from the sensitive area. The bras are soft and so you could hand stitch it if you don't have a machine or maybe you know someone who does. Their products have made a huge difference for me! They have single and double breast forms and you can cut them and trim where needed. The bras and forms are machine wash and dry, another plus! I hope these bras and forms will make a difference for you too. Sending love and healing wishes to you and to all on this site. ❤️

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Mentor
Chris, Volunteer Mentor | @auntieoakley | 1 hour ago
In reply to @ferd5153 "I am 3 years post my second fight with cancer - if including 5 years on..." + (show)
@ferd5153

I am 3 years post my second fight with cancer - if including 5 years on Letrozole, otherwise 8 years post cancer. The 1st time that I had cancer I decided to have a double mastectomy without need for chemo or radiation (and I would never need to think about cancer again- haha). I had a recurrence 4 years later and went through a regimen of adriamycin; taxol; herceptin and radiation. After I was on tamoxifen for a short time, they placed me on Letrozole. For me, cognitively and emotionally things have continued to decline. I don't know if my depression derives from my poor cognition or vice versa - which came first the chicken or the egg? LOL. I have tried to forget that I have had cancer, but the toll on my mind and body reminds me everyday if it. I'm going on 62, which I still can't believe; so I often wonder if aging isn't part of the issue as well. And in all honesty, I've always been a bit scattered, but nothing like the last 5 years. I have neuropathy in my hands which makes tasks more difficult to accomplish; and my memory is absolutely horrendous. My supervisor at work is frustrated with me, not that this person sits down to talk with me about it; no, she conveys her frustration to my colleagues. I find myself crying nearly everyday for the past several weeks, which is very unusual for me. I am typically not one to cry. I have to believe there's going to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow one of these days. I've always been a person who said that no matter how bad something is you can always find the good in it. I really hope that I'll be able to see the good in my cognitive decline and depression soon. Wishing everyone the best and if anyone has advice, please feel free to share. 🙂

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You are not alone❣️ I have had dozens of conversations with breast cancer survivors that have all of the elements of “ah geez” and although our journeys are all different, our reasons for frustration are uncannily similar.
Too much cancer treatment, in my case young when starting, all causing a lot of collateral damage after the fact. I still get a little irritated when I remember my doctor telling me “you will have roughly a year of treatment, then your life will be able to return to normal”. Yeah, and God laughed when I told him my plans.
I am just a few years younger than you, but I am guessing I started a little younger. Too much chemo, and a fair bit of radiation. Multiple surgeries, multiple endocrine therapies.
Every single day, my silver lining is that I am spending the day enjoying this life with my husband whom I cherish beyond moon and back. I get to go to the barn and play with or brush my horses and remember to just breathe and live in this moment.
I might get to have lunch with a friend on the weekend who won’t judge if I can’t remember something or if I get lost in the middle of a sentence.
I can’t tell you what to do, but I had to get some better living with chemistry to get my mind heading in the right direction emotionally. I also had to remind myself why I have opted in for these treatments every single time, and then be grateful I still have those things in my life.
After all the treatments, are you cancer free now? What are the reasons you opted in to all this chemo?

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