Early Alzheimer’s diagnosis and hypersexuality

This seems to me to be more of a sad situation than a dangerous one. I think relationships formed in nursing homes are not unusual, but when they're unwanted or with the help, someone should step in. You should speak to the waiter about this, tell him the situation and how uncomfortable you are with this, or have the manager speak to him if you're reluctant to.

My "problem" is that my husband, who has Alzheimer's, lives at home with me, and is still highly functional, wants more sexual activity than I do at this point. I feel bad and he's frustrated and sad, but we're just not in the same place where we used to be. I try to gently explain that I'm old and not feeling it anymore, but he can't let it go. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I don't want what I don't want either. I end up feeling both put-upon and guilty.

Does he want more sexual activity because of Alzheimer’s?

@pamela78 thank you for your reply. The attention is wanted but the source is concerning. I will definitely speak with management. She is comparatively young and yes, the entire situation is sad. Our situations are different, and I see how you feel the way you feel. Both of our parents had Alzheimer’s and dementia. Sex conduct was never an issue. This is a whole new world.

Whom do you find relief for the times you were a Care Giver?

i am in my 14th month of being a Care Giver.

Nothing has been normal !

I am losing "my place" i life.!

Cannot get back to 3x weekly workouts.

Summer activities are gone !

14th month of being overwhelmed.

Keith,
I’m am so much in the same boat. It’s not fun, is it? Sometimes I wonder if I will last long enough, when this part of the journey is finished, that I’ll still have the opportunity to get my old life back somewhat - maybe some travel, taking better care of myself, and maybe being spontaneous! I hope you are able to get some respite from a companion for your person and can at least find a few hours a week for yourself.

Hi @keithcarey84, I'm Scott, and I was my wife's sole caregiver for just shy of 15 years.

I learned to take what I called 'minute vacations'. Just enough to catch my breath and recharge. I'd read one newspaper article, a page from a book, etc.

I had to give up almost everything in my personal life for those years, but it was worth it to me, as I knew she had to have my help to manage her life. I reminded myself every day that she was the one fighting for her life, and that helped me keep my perspective on the challenges of caregiving.

Once my wife passed away, I now have too much time to do whatever I want.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

My husband also has Alzheimer's and his brain causes him to make up stories. Are you sure that her stories are true?

Wow I bet that is difficult on you. And yes, she eats down in main dining
room. Her aide confirmed but also revealed this employee has come out with
food for a few others so just not her. But she is reacting and has a crush
on him. I just don’t want the wrong message to get her confused and have
hurt feelings. I will tread lightly when I speak to management because you
raise a good point. But she is so smitten it feels real. Thank you for your
response💗

Cindy Gilbert
about.me/cindygilbert

@cindy20000 Welcome to Mayo ClinicConnect! I like all the quick responses you’ve gotten!
@cindy20000 , one thing to think about; don’t rush off to the manager until you are certain. The server could lose his job just on someone’s comment. You might want to talk with him first so he knows what your sister is saying. He could change his whole behavior and all would be well. Do you think that might work?

Thank you! Yes, your suggestion sounds solid. I don’t want to over react and get someone in trouble. I will top toe through this and report back.