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Dying Well

Posted by happykc @happykc, Apr 26 5:24pm

Does anyone know of a group, anywhere, who can support each other while dying in love and grace? I do not fear dying, for a number of reasons. It will come soon, and I hope I can welcome it, I've worked hard to get to this point. But this is the first time in my eight decades that I feel lonely. I would love to share feelings, experiences, etc. with other like minded folks, but no one in my periphery shares my joy at looking forward to the transition. Family would be horrified, friends terrified. I cannot discuss this with my therapist, he is terrified himself and would be sure I am depressed and possibly suicidal. I am not. I am not anxious to die, I love my life. I used to wonder why God kept me around so long, as everyone around me, even those younger, are passing. I'm thinking it might be the grand gift of the 'Golden Years', 'cuz I am loving these days! I am not anti aging, but have no interest in attempting to retain my youth or live forever. My attitude is "I'm ready whenever He is". Not a religious person, but one of great faith and spirituality. I've spent hours scrolling around to see if there is any entity, group or person who shares my feelings. All I find is stuff to support fear of death, and how to get over it. I'm over it, and have been for some time. I'm trying to age with love and gratitude, and meet the transition the same way. I live each day as joyfully as I can. I'm just kinda bummed that I have no one to share this joy with, who feels as I do. Life has taught me that shared experiences have such great value, but maybe not this? Maybe Mayo should consider a "Dying Well" support group. I can't believe I'm the only person out there. But if I tried to start one, OMG! Friends and family would plotz! I think I'm just tired of having to keep my feelings to myself. It's a long journey, and a great one, and I'd love to share with others like me, learn from each other, help each other along. Thanks to any who read this, and suggestions are welcome but don't be a wiseass.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

lilymarie | @lilymarie | 19 hours ago
In reply to @lilymarie "Thank you for the kind and generous feedback. It is very true what you wrote and,..." + (show)
@lilymarie

Thank you for the kind and generous feedback. It is very true what you wrote and, like you (pretty sure), there have been many wonderful stories you now reflect on that were pretty miraculous. Such as it is with me and which is why I love being a caregiver. That sweet spot is what we wait for when we are paired with someone who is facing their next step forward into eternity. That sweet spot is what I look forward to and am grateful that, for whatever reason, it was me who was chosen for them. It took ten plus years for my client (beloved friend as I knew her since I was 13) to have NO anxiety any longer...her soul found the peace and her mind was healed. I miss my friend fiercely every day, and yet, my own heart is happy she is no longer in that state of anxiety. Peace, harmony, infinite well being...!

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In addition, thank you again for replying as it was very helpful to talk about it again to someone who truly understands this role as a caregiver. Thank you!

REPLY
scain | @scain | 14 hours ago

What about hospice. When my mom was in her process of dying I kept asking my 2 health care professional sisters about requesting visits from hospice and both sisters told me that in order to get hospice visits you have to only gave 6 mos. To live and that had to be documented somehow from a doctor. I have always been the black sheep in my family and finally asked her doctor. Turns out they were both wrong. Some patients have had hospice visits for 2 years. There is no age or time left requirement. I called and they were there within 24 hours. I found them to be helpful and matter of fact when needed. I would reach out to them as of course they specialize in dying. We need to destigmatize the whole process so that talking about it does not make us out to be ghoulish. We will all get there and some people me included want to discuss.

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scain | @scain | 8 hours ago

I don't think it is healthy to keep your thoughts to yourself. I do find mostly solace here on this site. I share when I think I have some thoughts. That others might find helpful. You should try to do the same. Someone always joins in and then you don't feel so alone

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