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livethrufocus
@livethrufocus

Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 21, 2017

Dwelling on past mistakes in relationships.

Posted by @livethrufocus, Mar 21, 2017

Trying to bypass or eliminate depression often derailed by obsessing over past mistakes in relationships. Now wondering if relying too much on meds–expecting too much?

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One of my doctors once told me there is no magic pill, and I know this is true. For instance, if I take something to help with depression, doesn’t it stand to reason this will cause me to feel some hyper or anxious? Or if I take something for anxiety that I will begin to feel lethargic? I also know obsessing over past mistakes only causes us pain and doesn’t fix a thing. If it is reasonable, ask the person in the past to forgive you, then move forward. Try to learn from the mistake. None of us are perfect. Wish there were do-overs, but there aren’t.

@liz223

One of my doctors once told me there is no magic pill, and I know this is true. For instance, if I take something to help with depression, doesn’t it stand to reason this will cause me to feel some hyper or anxious? Or if I take something for anxiety that I will begin to feel lethargic? I also know obsessing over past mistakes only causes us pain and doesn’t fix a thing. If it is reasonable, ask the person in the past to forgive you, then move forward. Try to learn from the mistake. None of us are perfect. Wish there were do-overs, but there aren’t.

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I totally agree. My doctor told me the same thing. And also 90% of our mental issues.. Are in the head, and 10% is the prescription they give you. Don’t dwell on the past. Clean your side of the street and make amends if needed and move on. Life is to short..

Regards,
Paul Vasiliaskas

@liz223

One of my doctors once told me there is no magic pill, and I know this is true. For instance, if I take something to help with depression, doesn’t it stand to reason this will cause me to feel some hyper or anxious? Or if I take something for anxiety that I will begin to feel lethargic? I also know obsessing over past mistakes only causes us pain and doesn’t fix a thing. If it is reasonable, ask the person in the past to forgive you, then move forward. Try to learn from the mistake. None of us are perfect. Wish there were do-overs, but there aren’t.

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Thank you for reading… Just saying it does get better. If you have someone to share with.. It's a big bonus. Have a great day! ☺️

I want to comment on @livethroughfocus from 6 days ago.
So very often friend/family disappointment/hurt, legitimate life stresses, and past “mistakes” cause me to doubt myself, worsen my depression and question my present rumination or repetitive thoughts because of said difficulties.
At these times, I caution myself, as I have learned the hard way, NOT to question present medication regimens as “not helping” or blame myself for not having a stronger constitution and just get a “stiiff upper lip” and “move on”.
In these times of great anguish and guilt and pain, those societal voices call to us to doubt the very pain we carry. At this point, “moving on” and letting go of prescribed meds would be a way to give in to denying the pain and taking society’s message to heart.
I have strong feelings about the following:
Suffering through the pain of past mistakes is real and necessary. Medications that a doctor ordered to assist getting one through the extremes of the sadness need not be abandoned…in fact, at these points, I embrace the gift that these medications exist now to help assist and increase the efficacy of my brain and heart’s difficult work.
I am no less strong by taking medications.
The important message is, that in this almost unbearable time of rumination, I have a great need to run away from it. And I truly must not do so.
I have, in the past, done anything to not face the pain. THIS is when “sweeping it away” is actually dangerous.
Yes, slowly thinking through, mourning, taking meds, and finding ways to love yourself, diverting my attention for short periods, are my biggest focus. THIS is strength. It may take some months, years, and parts may resurface at moments and never “go away”. Yes, I continue to find ways to love myself, though…with ALL my faults and successes.
I cannot run from myself…my feelings and ruminations are reminders to reach out for help, find ways to gently remember the past…it DID happen, and now I can slowly feel a bit more whole again even with the acknowledgement of pain.
I do not say this lightly. I am imperfect at all aspects of my above beliefs and intentions. Yet, through generous therapy and my own reflection, I know that truth and genuine suffering and following a prescribed medicine regimen cannot be avoided for growth and peace to happen.
I wish you some peace in all of your struggles. I hope you find assistance. I am with you in spirit.

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