Does it ever get better?

@jakedduck1
Hi Jake, Good Evening
Here in São Paulo we are just 2 hours ahead of Washington DC. Not that much time difference, though it is spring over here and fall in the US.
Do not blame yourself Jake for not thinking this way. I would have never had this view just by myself, it was with the help of great professionals such as my neuropsychologist that I changed my view on my epilepsy more as a friend rather than an enemy, little by little. Be nice to you! There is always a moment to start changes.
Lauren, whom I met in an epilepsy support group some time ago, has written a very nice post recently "Can epilepsy be a friend?". In case you are interested, here is the link to this post: https://laurencanaday.substack.com?r=2tnylv
Wishing you a peaceful evening!
Chris

@santosha

Thank you Chris for the link.

Jake

Hi @jakedduck1
First, a very good morning to you!
This weekend I watched a documentary called Resignify (not yet available in the States), bringing me some additional insight into "Can epilepsy be a friend?"
When I got my diagnosis and started my treatment with much suffering, I have asked myself many times "why me?". I consider myself an honest person, a person who helps so many people through my job as a career outplacement consultant, a person with a good heart and an honest one. "Why was I being punished that way?" I even got angry with God at that time. This was a time when I saw my epilepsy as my biggest and largest enemy.
Before my epilepsy was diagnosed, I was a person who was very focused on the outside, the external world, to others, and little on my inner world. I had a very agitated life with my sympathetic system turned on most of the time. My mind was my boss, listening little to my heart that has a low voice, but a very true one. Emotions, especially the emotional garbage, were many times hidden under the mat. With the epilepsy treatment, all that came to the surface.
With my epilepsy experience, I was forced to dive into my inner world, to listen more to my heart, to my anxiety, what my body was saying, and what I needed to learn about myself. I realized how aggressive I have been to myself for many decades. Today, I see the pain I went through as a sacred pain that has brought many learnings and positive changes in my life, In this sense, my epilepsy is nowadays my big friend. This process of organizing the mess of my internal cupboard is a process I am still working on. Listening to my heart the same way I listen to my mind is something I still need to be vigilant about. Usually, my seizures happen when I have surpassed my limits and have not listened carefully to what my body is trying to tell me. There is more I need to learn.
When we think that everything seems to be going wrong in life, it is often when we are on the right path!
Have a beautiful day with much peace in your mind! And let's not forget to be gentle and kind to ourselves.
With much care and love,
Chris (Santosha)