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Does anyone have tips for communicating with someone with dementia?
I've been increasingly frustrated with trying to communicate with my husband. It's like the stereotype of the husband never listening to the wife. For example, this morning he read off a message on his phone that the battery was low and it needed charging. I told him to get the charger, that it was the white cord hanging on the side of the dresser mirror. I thought the directions were pretty clear.
He came back with a belt—and it wasn't white and hadn't been hanging on the side of the dresser mirror either. I retrieved the cord myself, and when he saw it, he said I should have said that and not mentioned a belt (which I hadn't).
A week ago I had a doctor's appointment and a neighbor stayed with him while I went. For the first time, I wrote a note about where I was going and when I expected to be back and gave it to him. He wasn't offended by that, and the neighbor said he pulled it out and read it several times.
He often reads things out loud, like the captions on the TV news, so it just occurred to me this morning that maybe he can't hang on to spoken words. Maybe if I'd written a short note describing the phone charger and where it was located, that would have worked better. Has anyone else experienced this with the person they're caring for?
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My husband who has MCI has become fixated on our finances. He is sure we will run out of money before we die. I have gone over our expenses and assets with my 2 daughters. There is no way what he is thinking is true.
We plan to go to a fiduciary financial planner to assess our finances.
I understand this is not uncommon for MCI men. How have you managed this thinking?
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2 ReactionsLots of sources online. Check the library. Many community groups also run local free programs.
Hope you find one geographically close to you.
All the best!
/LarryG
@defleurs , if he is struggling to comprehend what you have explained and what he knew before, it’s unlikely a professional adviser will be understood or believed either. When the ability isn’t there, no presentation may be sufficient to convince him. My experience was that general reassurances caused the least frustration. And, eventually removing access to assets to protect them worked out ok.
My cousin who knew better was not able to resist an alarm company sales rep and let them into her house and gave them her ss#, dob, etc. It could have been a disaster. Turned out ok because they were legit salespeople.