Disruption of moving to new house vs familiar home until memory care..

Posted by nelms @nelms, 3 days ago

My husband has Lewy body disease and has recently experienced a rather sudden decline. These changes include new anxiety and spatial recognition difficulties. He can no longer drive (failed driver evaluation) but is otherwise still engaged in life. A few months ago, before his recent decline, we bought a small house in a neighborhood close to everything in our small town. That house will require some work, which I must manage alone, and which is starting to cause him more anxiety. We think that moving to this small house will be temporary, because we anticipate the need for independent living/memory care in the future. Should we stay put in our familiar home until then, or move to a smaller house in the meantime, and thus go through two moves instead of one within what may be a short time?
Help!

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Teri | @tsc | 1 day ago

Hi @nelms, I'll chime in although you've received stellar feedback already.
The less moves, the better. People with dementia are usually most comfortable in familiar surroundings. Change often throws them for a loop. Spatial recognition problems that your husband has started experiencing may make it more difficult for him to adjust to a new home. He's familiar with your current home and probably knows it like the back of his hand.
I now manage everything related to our lives, which I never thought I would have to do.
Just remember, you can do this. You will find your strength and your ability will surprise you!

wctdoc1943 | @wctdoc1943 | 1 day ago

As a follow-up to my post yesterday, sometimes a move or change outweighs the benefit of staying in the familiar. When I moved 4 years ago, my wife did understand the reasons and rationale at the time, and it was the best decision based on the information we had. I miss our mountain home also, but we're in a much better locaation and are more secure financially. Her condtion has deteriorated and she no longer remembers why we moved and blames me because she is not happy where we are. But change is likely to increase agitation and confusion, at least in the short run. But longer term considerations may well outwweigh the short term drawbacks.