Husband diagnosed stage 4 stomach (gastric) cancer

Posted by Sophia @edgar23, Apr 25, 2023

My husband got diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer / gastric cancer a month ago the process been very hard. He started chemo last Wednesday. He had two chemotherapy back to back. I’m very worried he keeps throwing up bile. He throws up about 4 ounces of bile every 30-45 min; it’s been 4 days already. Today he finally was able to keep something down and didn’t throw up all day but it started again at 10pm. I’ve been up all night making sure he is ok. He has been admitted at the hospital for two weeks already the doctors have been trying control his vomit. Everything just started so fast he was just ok and it’s still unbelievable of what’s going on. Decided to write this text for support and experiences that could help.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Cancer Support Group.

@welhemina

Is there a cholangiocarcinoma support group I can join as a caregiver and also for a patient?

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@welhemina, yes, you will find discussions about cholangiocarcinoma in the Cancer support group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/cancer/.
Use the Search bar to find related discussions using the search term "cholangiocarcinoma" or bile duct cancer"

You can also click this link to get started:
* Cholangiocarcinoma - Bile Duct Cancer - anyone else dealing with this? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/cholangiocarcinoma-bile-duct-cancer-anyone-else-dealing-with-this/

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@edgar23

He has been admitted at the hospital for two weeks already. it’s been a week since he had his first chemo. Since then it been so hard for him to keep food down. He didn’t eat for 4 days just throwing up bile every hour. Doctors were controlling his vomit everyday but what helped for his pain and nausea. Fetanyl patch 75mcg, 5 mg thc, gi cocktail pretty much a shot of anesthesia before he eats and zofran the main one. But the 5th day and 6th day he was only able drink pasteurized milk 8 ounces /3 times a day and half a banana. But today finally a week I am so happy he was able to keep more food down. He ate a pear, popsicle, watermelon and a little bit of chicken just two bites but it’s something. he is more active, was able to take a shower ,clean his ears. I just felt like sharing how happy I am today. Plus the doctors said he can go home tomorrow. The only think that is bothering me he has a fungal infection in his mouth. They have had him in iv antibiotics for a week already and it’s still there. I hope it goes away soon. They said lemon drop or anything else can irritate him and make it worst. I would just let the antibiotics do it’s part.
And I am happy taking him home already but I am worried how he is going to be at home but I know he would be more comfortable. I hope this message helps and I would like to hear more experiences. I hope second chemo he won’t be bad like the first one plus he going to be home this time.

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Hi Sophia, I thought I would check in. How is your husband doing? How are YOU doing?

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@colleenyoung

Hi Sophia, I thought I would check in. How is your husband doing? How are YOU doing?

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He passed away October 30th , it’s been hard but I promised him I would stay strong for me and him. It’s been hard to mourn him. I don’t know if anyone has experienced a lost and then there family attacking you like if it’s your fault. I have not gone to a support group but I decided take baby steps and start from here. And just express my thoughts, my feelings, my experience. But I can say he never gave up he wanted to live and he fought until the end. Omg he was a fighter he really was. Until he was too weak to bear he was so much in pain he did not want to wake up no more. He decided to do hospice at home , I wanted to respect his wishes and I was only able to do so much I was 24/7 alone with him with no sleep on the 4th day I couldn’t no more. I called for help and hospice of the valley came so quick to pick him up. My hands were not meant to give him narcos and put him to sleep I was too weak I felt like I was the one killing him I told the nurse I can’t do this it is so hard. But my husband he understood I was tired, hurt, sad and I loved him so much to go so far. Hospice of the valley in Arizona (Ryan house) were so helpful they helped me until the end. They helped him to be relaxed as they could help him for his pain and suffering. What comforts me and helps me feel
Ok everyday knowing he is no longer suffering he is pain free. He was so beautiful

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@edgar23

He passed away October 30th , it’s been hard but I promised him I would stay strong for me and him. It’s been hard to mourn him. I don’t know if anyone has experienced a lost and then there family attacking you like if it’s your fault. I have not gone to a support group but I decided take baby steps and start from here. And just express my thoughts, my feelings, my experience. But I can say he never gave up he wanted to live and he fought until the end. Omg he was a fighter he really was. Until he was too weak to bear he was so much in pain he did not want to wake up no more. He decided to do hospice at home , I wanted to respect his wishes and I was only able to do so much I was 24/7 alone with him with no sleep on the 4th day I couldn’t no more. I called for help and hospice of the valley came so quick to pick him up. My hands were not meant to give him narcos and put him to sleep I was too weak I felt like I was the one killing him I told the nurse I can’t do this it is so hard. But my husband he understood I was tired, hurt, sad and I loved him so much to go so far. Hospice of the valley in Arizona (Ryan house) were so helpful they helped me until the end. They helped him to be relaxed as they could help him for his pain and suffering. What comforts me and helps me feel
Ok everyday knowing he is no longer suffering he is pain free. He was so beautiful

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Sophia (@edgar23), I'm so sorry to hear of his passing. I'm glad that you shared these pictures, they made me smile, and the love that the two of you had for each other radiates off the page. He sounds like a beautiful man, and you were a beautiful wife doing everything that you could to give him comfort and love.
When you are ready, the hospice team may have suggestions on a support group or someone to talk to with experience in grief. Wishing you peace.

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Sophia @edgar23 ,
Thanks for the update and sharing those photos. They are beautiful. Please accept my condolences.

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@edgar23

He passed away October 30th , it’s been hard but I promised him I would stay strong for me and him. It’s been hard to mourn him. I don’t know if anyone has experienced a lost and then there family attacking you like if it’s your fault. I have not gone to a support group but I decided take baby steps and start from here. And just express my thoughts, my feelings, my experience. But I can say he never gave up he wanted to live and he fought until the end. Omg he was a fighter he really was. Until he was too weak to bear he was so much in pain he did not want to wake up no more. He decided to do hospice at home , I wanted to respect his wishes and I was only able to do so much I was 24/7 alone with him with no sleep on the 4th day I couldn’t no more. I called for help and hospice of the valley came so quick to pick him up. My hands were not meant to give him narcos and put him to sleep I was too weak I felt like I was the one killing him I told the nurse I can’t do this it is so hard. But my husband he understood I was tired, hurt, sad and I loved him so much to go so far. Hospice of the valley in Arizona (Ryan house) were so helpful they helped me until the end. They helped him to be relaxed as they could help him for his pain and suffering. What comforts me and helps me feel
Ok everyday knowing he is no longer suffering he is pain free. He was so beautiful

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Thanks for sharing this Sophia ❤️.
I am a Widow too.
I was exhausted during home Hospice as well and had to switch to inpatient Hospice too. 😥
My best friend/husband was beautiful, admirable, resilient and strong to the end.😭 @edgar23 .
Feel free to message me.
Peace and Blessings 🙌 ❤️

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@lls8000

Sophia (@edgar23), I'm so sorry to hear of his passing. I'm glad that you shared these pictures, they made me smile, and the love that the two of you had for each other radiates off the page. He sounds like a beautiful man, and you were a beautiful wife doing everything that you could to give him comfort and love.
When you are ready, the hospice team may have suggestions on a support group or someone to talk to with experience in grief. Wishing you peace.

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Yes that would be helpful

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@edgar23

Yes that would be helpful

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The LOSS OF A SPOUSE Grief Journey is a VERY esoteric one.
Groups do help and you get to meet other Widows/Widowers.
The LOSS OF A SPOUSE Grief Journey is nothing like the Loss of a Child, Grandparents, Aunt/Uncle, etc. (I've been through them all ).
It something so unique since it's your best friend/spouse.
SOPHIA ... I truly understand and wish you well on this journey.
Feel free to reach out to me.
YOU ARE LOVED !!!

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