Depression and Anxiety at an older age

@dmho It's hard to be away from loved ones when they are in need of our help. I like @fiesty76's suggestion of teleconferencing with the provider. It must be alarming and unsettling that your father is making comments about despair and death. It's normal to talk about death and to have fleeting suicidal thoughts. However it should always take them seriously.

Has he made these kinds of comments in the past? Has he recently been prescribed medication that has a suicide warning? I might suggest calling for a welfare check if you feel he is in imminent danger. If you feel that he is not in imminent danger then I'd suggest calling his provider directly.

If your father has signed a release of information you should be able to ask them questions about your father's care and medication. If your father has not signed a release then you would still be able to give the provider information. Do you think your father would be open to your calling his provider regarding his comments about death?

Im a veteran.. va has protocals and my dr just wants me to keep on the same SSRI ..which after years doesnt do a thing. Im near 66, and totally done. What if i dont need seratonin.. no one will discuss "new" options.. i feel like im being shined on..and on.

Yes, indeed, the VA has protocols, as do many providers and insurance companies. But...you DO have a right to appropriate health care, and if you are not getting at the VA you can request community care.

Are you feeling more hopeless, anxious or depressed than in the past? Contact your state or county veterans' assistance group for help. Google [Your state] Veterans' Services (or Affairs)
Do you have anyone who can help navigate the whole VA process?
Sue

WOW! You all seem to be taking so many drugs. It seems mind boggling to me. Next month I will be 88. Have just gone through a most terrible year. My husband of 59 years died. Then shortly thereafter I had to have a complete hip replacement. Then shortly after that I was informed by my son that I was not welcome to attend my granddaughter's wedding. I can tell you I was not in a good place. At one time I even considered suicide. I called the suicide number and after talking with a very nice person that feeling has gone away permanently. I am not out of the woods yet. I still have five more weeks of physical therapy for my hip. But I can drive the car, and while I am definitely not planning any extended driving trips, I can get myself to the grocery store and the library. I only need blood pressure medication. It is tough being on my own but the alternative is even tougher. At my age it is difficult to make any plans because you just never know. But if I have a plan, it is just to keep going on slowly.

I am at my last attempt to get some help. I take 100 mg og seldane, and it helps, it keeps me from crying all the time, but inside I just want to quit breathing and simply not exist anymore. I am 79 female, lost my first husband 25 years ago, just recently my sweetheart John died of a massive heartattack. His family will no longer talk to me, don't know why. They said they loved me, but so did my three sons,, but until I left John they would not speak or respond to me in any way. Know I am living with my middle son, and I cnnot drive anymore, and I have trouble doing things by myself. Recently he and I had a disagreement and I really want to quit being alive. I beleive in God, in eternal life, andI think I am ready to just go on. I am tired of fighting, being in pain,unable to function the way I would like to. I'm too much of a coward to purposely hurt myself, so I stay miserable. I simply do not know what to do. I desperately need someone to talk with....JJ

@jjwest It is never easy when we feel hopeless, and alone, is it? Have you spoken to your prescribing doctor about the way you are feeling? Your son may be aware of your struggles and is waiting for you to talk to him, tell him you need more help. If you are part of a faith community, there may be a group there for you to associate with. Check the Senior Services in your county and get some resources. No one should have to go day-to-day and feel like there is no way out.

Please let me know what you decide to do?
Ginger

@jjwest your faith will sustain you. God does not promise us an easy time in this life, however He has promised to take care of us when we look to Him for help. I have to keep reminding myself to keep my eyes on Jesus instead of running around in a tizzy trying to find answers from others. I have to wait with courage for God to go before me and straighten my path.

I’m almost 73. I live alone. Married and divorced 3 times…I have 2 sons, one of which can’t help himself get out of a box. My daughter died 4 years ago at age 45 from an overdose of fentanyl. She has 3 children. My grandchildren are blessed to have a wonderful father to care for them.
Without my faith in the Lord, I would be a total train wreck.
Praying for you and your family. 🙏🏻🌻

JJ, You were in a really hard place last night. I'm so grateful that you chose to write frankly about how you were feeling and that @gingerw and @SusanEllen66 were there.

Sometimes writing on a forum like this one may not be enough. If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, you have options:

Call 988

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. You will be connected to a trained counselor. who will listen and provide support, and connect you to resources if necessary.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Helpline https://www.nami.org/help
The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET.
Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email at helpline@nami.org

JJ, how are you doing this morning?

Hi JJ, I hope you are feeling better today and the responses you’ve received helped! I totally understand feeling like it would be a relief if I wasn’t here. I’ve had those thoughts and feelings myself. Speaking for myself, I try to remember I’m here for a reason. My faith tells me that God has a plan for me I may not understand. I’m also pretty isolated, having had chronic pain for many years. I’ve had a hard time getting out, maintaining friendships and simply being able to take care of myself. I’ve had times when I was shunned by family and it was very painful emotionally. I lost my father and older brother in the past 10 years and some close friends as well. I understand loss and limitations from health issues. Not to mention the challenges we face as we age! Throughout my life I’ve hung onto my faith and I’ve found contentment in the simple things in life. I try not to let my challenges overwhelm me by finding enjoyment in a morning cup of coffee, a short walk or a good movie. I have a dog who offers me unconditional love! I now have a relationship with my mother that I cherish. I’ve found pleasure in a few interest’s like a small garden, made an attempt at drawing and painting! I practice meditation and make smoothies with my favorite fruit. I try to eat good. I take small steps every day to benefit myself in some way. It’s not always easy for sure! I have depression and when I’m feeling down, it’s not easy to get through the day. I try to remember those feelings will pass. I live alone so it’s up to me to stay focused on the positive things in my life! We face many challenges in our world today! I hope you continue to reach out to find support and hope for yourself. I think you’ve made a great step coming here, there are wonderful caring people to offer tools and information to help. Have you talked to a therapist or general practitioner about how you’re feeling? I have both and they can help!

of pissed 48 do you mind telling me how old you are? I recently turned 79, always been a female. Widowed, have heart challlenges, spine, creating walking challenges. Just recently moved into my son and family's home. They have fixed a room up for me which I stay in most of the time.
What caught my attention is what you said about working up to take a shower. I used to be very independent, I co habitated with for 15 years. He recently died of a recent heart attack.
I desperately just need someone to talk with. If you are willing please respond... I live in Austin, Texas
PEACE & LOVE ...JJ