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ann ables
@annables

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 16, 2012

depression and anger over being used by brother that took all my money did not repay any

Posted by @annables, Jun 16, 2012

MY brother a few yrs ago got in trouble because he didnt contribute to retirement
plan where he worked but he paid the employees retirement. this was illegal
he was looking at divorce losing his house and job and his standing as an
elected official–possible jail time. i handed him all my retirement money ===
i only had 45k recently rolled into my retirement fund. i had to pay irs a lot because
i wasnt retirement age when i got disabled. he said he would give me his land
he would inherit when our parents were no longer with us. he has not ever even
mentioned or paid any thing back to me. nor give me his land. i cannot sleep
have anxiety and hatred for him. can anyone help me get over this? i cannot afford therapy. i am 70 now and i do without proper food and live off ss check.
my brother lives high-buys exp guns gifts for his friends takes them to eat never
asks me. this squandering by him has turned me against him. he does nothing
for me. someone please give me advice about letting this gol i have a lot of anger and resentment to him. he will never pay me anything back. thanks .liz

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piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Jun 16, 2012

Hi liz What a sad situation you re in. You gave your brother your retirement money and he has been very ungrateful to your kindness.I can understand that you would be having feelings of anxiety and anger over this. If nothing was placed in writing by your brother as to the land etc that he agreed to give you I don’t think that legally you have any rights to this. But in saying this and wilth no legal background myself it may be in your best interests to seek some kind of legal advice. In Australia we have legal aid and this is free legal advice, you may have something similar in the states. Please let me know how things go for you and i’m here if you just need to talk anytime. Take care Piglit


Roxie43
@roxie43

Posts: 1744
Joined: Nov 20, 2011
Posted by @roxie43, Jun 16, 2012

Hi Liz,
I would advice you to apply for free legal services! Hang in there dear.


ann ables
@annables

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 16, 2012
Posted by @annables, Jun 18, 2012

HI Piglit– Bless you for your kind words. I just thank you so much for caring and
responding. When these things happened to me–I was the maincaregiver for
my mom that developed alzheimer disease for 7-10yrs. My priority was to take
care of parents first-me last –After mom passed away 2001–then my father
in 2003. I went to visit with him during week and on weekends. My parents were
my best friends-all I had in this world.. My father age 92 was a victim of home
invasion-I found him one Sunday morning-beaten and left for dead. He lived
for 6 months–but in horrific fear–of what had happened to him. My brother told
the police (the day I found him) that he must have had heart attack and fell around
the room. I did all kinds of investigation–found out who was trying to extort money
from my dad. I never understood why my brother didnt take over the investigation-he surely was in a capacity to( read what I wrote Jodi above) My brother said that
when he got out of office he would look into it—–I promise you–lots of people heard him say what he said. WHO WOULD TURN THEIR BACK ON MURDER
OF HIS OWN FATHER? i think there is an answering day-if not in this world-then
in the next. There is legal aid but it is not funded enough in this state and there
are priorities above mine–they didnt even talk to me about it. My brother stated
orally ( with witnessaround) that when he inherited land he would let me have
it–but he did not.
I am doing best i can, with love, ann


ann ables
@annables

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 16, 2012
Posted by @annables, Jun 18, 2012

HI Roxie—Thank you so much for responding. I am so happy that you took
the time and forever grateful. Read my responses above. I am trying to hang in
there but I think I am getting weaker. I t has helped me SO MUCH that all of you
talked to me–Wish I could repay you all. Thank you again. With Love-Ann


piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Jun 18, 2012

Hi ann with the witnesses that overheard the conversation are any of them prepared to help you in anyway. Take care piglit


ann ables
@annables

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 16, 2012
Posted by @annables, Jun 18, 2012

Hi Piglit–Yes=the witness would verify what they overheard.
thanks ==its good to hear from you I guess I get myself upset so that I cant sleep much.. Ann
Everybody==thanks for coffee Thank for everything


piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Jun 18, 2012

Hi Ann take care of yourself my dear, try and rest if you can and as I say fairy steps one at a time. We have a good support group here and are always here to help if you need me/us anytime. Also i find that warm milk and honey helps me relax before sleep. Take care my dear Piglit


joanneo
@joanneo

Posts: 74
Joined: May 02, 2012
Posted by @joanneo, Jun 16, 2012

Dear Ann I am so sorry to hear of your misfortune. Unfortunately; your kindness was abused.you have to try to let it go because the anger will eat you up and cause depression..I realize that this is hard to do but you must take care of yourself..you may have to detach from this relationship. Please keep intouch with me as I truly care and would like to help you. I am a good sounding board and it sounds like that’s what you need right now. Do you have any friends to talk with that you trust? Sincerely. Jodi


ann ables
@annables

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 16, 2012
Posted by @annables, Jun 18, 2012

Dear Jodi-It means lot to me that you answered. -more than you can know.
what I described is not all he took I had an expensive gun collection that I
received thro my divorce settlement years ago.Just one set of matching pistols
were featured on cover of magazine -valued at 25 k. Two weeks after my divorce–
I had no children- my brother came to my house and asked–what are you going
to do with the guns–I said –nothing—just keeping them–He said -let me lock
them up in my safe -no one can steal them. He said you may have a home invasion. Imagine this–I just went thro a bad divorce and I was definitely weak.
I had lost 90 lbs and was a bank mgr –trying to go to work. This happened 22 yrs
ago–taking my retirement money was a few years ago.
when I asked him about my guns-he said he sold them because he needed money–since he was elected to an office -and presiding over court document
also was a deputized official of the law–no one in that small town would have
helped me-he was in the office 20 yrs -until 4 yrs ago was defeated. I lived in
another state. All these yrs=I thought my guns were in his safe.Dont know when
he sold them-what year?-or anything–the model-make–and id on guns were
with the gunsl Sorry to go on and on–thank you for lending an ear. All this has
really taking its toll on me.I trusted him. With love, Ann


piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Jun 18, 2012

Hi ann Just wondering after reading your reply from Jodi whether you had taken any photgraphs of the guns over the years that may assist you to find them. Also may be a good idea to try pawn brokers within the surrounding areas. Just a thought Here if you need me Piglit


ann ables
@annables

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 16, 2012
Posted by @annables, Jun 23, 2012

Dear Jodi–I have started detaching from my relative–and he knows something
is going on. I think he is picking up on my coolness–I am having a hard time
trying to keep the anger in check.. It’s really hard to do. Trying to forgive–there is
so much–thats been done to others in the family-==Wish I could forget it. I dont
have friends here that I can trust—I am so grateful for your words.. I am grateful
to have met all of you-this is a good site with good people. Much love. Ann


jsparks
@jsparks

Posts: 51
Joined: May 10, 2012
Posted by @jsparks, Jun 23, 2012

just what works for me, everyone is different, You gotta find a outlet, some its knitting, gardening, hobbies. But I found one thing that gets the hurt to go away for me is painting, no I can’t paint on paper but I will paint on darn near anything else, I am not good but its just lets my emotion get out into the work, and then the next day I look at it, and you can tell how pissed I was by what I painted, and I have had to sand a few things back down because they were not something I wanted to keep, but there are some that I am still glad I did, for example right now on my computer desk between me and the monitor if you look down towards your fingers on the keyboard Its says ALIVE in 6 inch letters, bright bold and catches your eye, it reminds me everyday that I did survive, and I need to be thankful for that, well the night I painted that was the last time I had “survivors guilt” where I wished I had also died in that wreck. So long story short, we all have a lot we go through but what matters is we are still here, and we are still trying to better ourselves and help outs, I know what its like to go from not worrying about money to not knowing how to keep the lights on or food on the table, I have lived well the 25th will be 1 year in financial crisis due to someone elses mistake. and I agree IT SUCKS to worry about money, but I also have learned, money and things are way over rated. I hope this helped at all, I really hope you can find what you need to hear, and be patient, it took me sometime of reading peoples responses and opinion tell I found what worked for me, But I am still new around here but I got a couple friends now that know what I am going through, and understand, and most importantly Don’t judge me. only we are weak, together with friends we can be strong!!!


piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Jun 23, 2012

Hi j so agree with what you are saying , and know exactly where your coming from with all of this, Im so proud of you with the ongoing strength that continues to shine through. No-one should be judgemental, and you know that I do understand, and I’m so glad that your’e here. and yes together with friends can be us stronger. Take care Piglit


ann ables
@annables

Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 16, 2012
Posted by @annables, Jun 23, 2012

Hi Friend- I think you are great. I mean that. You are very good at expressing
yourself and helping me, too. You got a grip-I admire that. I am learning from
all who have reached out to me. There is a lot of love and kindness shown on
this site. I am thankful I found such great friends. Ann


joanneo
@joanneo

Posts: 74
Joined: May 02, 2012
Posted by @joanneo, Jun 23, 2012

Dear J’s that was so beautiful. It is so true what u have said the most important things in life are health love and friendships money helps but it can not bring happiness and it certaintly cannot buy health. Remember there are people out there much worse than we. I try to put that in perspective when I feel down thank u again for such a beautiful reading. All the best. Jodi.

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