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Demoralization or Depression?
Hi. Last week I stumbled across an article about Demoralization while doing a search re Depression-which I have been told I have along with generalized anxiety; and what caught my eye was the author explaining Demoralization was affecting some people and it was not necessarily "Depression"
To confuse the issue for me, another quick word search of the word Demoralization showed how it was used in warfare, law enforcement, to erode morale among the enemy etc. Another page I read listed symptoms such as:
- Chronic of acute medical illness
- Depressed mood
- Past psychiatric history
- Diminished functional ability
- Younger age (not in my case)
- Poor family cohesion
- Poor quality of relationships
- Avoidant or confrontational coping styles
- Trait anxiety
In a case study on a USA site ncbi.nim.nih.gov... an article written 14 yrs ago told the history of an older man with terminal caner, persistent pain, insomnia, anorexia...frustration over a delay in dr being away and bowel issues who no longer enjoyed hobbies, family, friends. He felt like harming himself. His medical team considered diagnosis of agitated depression - but a psychotherapist felt it was "demoralization" ... that he was in despair because of his situation!
Also described demoralization as a state separate from depression: (another site said opposite) ...... that depressed patients found no happiness in anything; whereas demoralized patients had periods of "happiness" when they had a visitor, their pain was dealt with, etc. I have had this; like being on a carousel, up and down, up and down but not bi-polar.
So... asking myself ... have I been depressed or demoralized or yet another medical condition?
Extreme sadness, pain, loneliness, insomnia, distrust of prescription meds, fear, diagnosis of incurable illness and grief over and over again?
I do not have any medical training and my vocabulary/comprehension is not the best, and I am not an avid reader of medical case histories... it just popped up after a search: but I had kept telling my husband and adult children over and over how very sad I felt with brother dying, illness, etc. extreme stress and anxiety: could it possibly be or have been something other than "depression" - (although depression can form part of demoralization, apparently, according to what I read (wish I was smarter and could sort this out).
Or (perish the thought) could I, and others, have combinations of many things but easier to just combine it all and call it depression? For the average person like me, does it matter?
Regardless, why can some people overcome almost the exact same illness/circumstances and some can't. Why can some "keep going" like the energizer bunny? Maybe I would not feel so bad if I had a medical condition (demoralization) rather than a mental one (depression) or am I not understanding this ... am confusing even myself!
Any thoughts on this - or, as some people say ... "It's the same difference"?
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@lacy2
That’s true Lacy. Parents were intimidated by teachers and doctors in England
I was bullied 1948-1955 about. I was timid and small so one teacher gave me knuckles on the head most days. What did that do to an 5 yr old brain. Another made fun about my glasses to make the class laugh while I stood and cried. Mr Rodger’s said I was deaf too! Bullying from the other kids also made it hell to go to school. I think it really affected me for life. I’m still angry at the knuckles on head teacher!!MissHumphrey. Nowadays teachers and doctors would be arrested for the abuse I saw. Baby Boomers in England got it all.
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1 Reaction.....nothing demoralizes a person like being abused as a child, IMHO. We had "assembly" every morning, whole school, hymns, prayer, lecture.. and if the head teacher talking saw a boy make a face or chat he went over and twisted their ear until they almost cried -this is young teenagers! I t not only probably affected those boys but we who witnessed. Even when i started working in an office at 16 I would not call the men by their first names as had been taught not to... even tho they requested it.. I know that's mild.. but an 8 yr long marriage where i was verbally and mentally and financially "abused" .. I stuck it out as always made to feel inferior and coincident, shortest in class. Now some children rule the household ... is there a happy medium? I think so and thats how I raised my two now adult chldren: loving kindness, care, rules...and it has paid off big time ! 🙂
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2 ReactionsWell done Lacy.You raised your kids well.
I believe in routine love,security,
and rules. Daily life they can count on. See the good in kids and praise it,support them when something goes wrong,and listen. I see parents who just ignore their little ones questions ,and prefer having their eyes on the phone.I'm 82 and remember how my parents responded to my questions with patients. With all the abuse at school and clinic I needed that.
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2 Reactions@brenda1944 ..... being a parent sometimes never ends.... just changes a bit ... no grandchildren for me which is something I miss but I remember a Franophone friend telling me abut one of their old sayings: You know what you're rocking but you don't know what you're raising ... so who knows. Luckily both adult girls live within ten minutes walk but we all respect each others privacy.... and once in a while each will say, when read some stories etc., that perhaps for the best they didnt have children. !
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1 Reaction@lacy2
I don’t have grandchildren either.One of my two daughters live with me as caregiver.
I have numerous health problems. My late husband was a great care giver. He got ill and died. I miss his big bear hugs.
When we get old it seems that sort of care is lacking. We are mostly put aside.
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1 Reaction@brenda1944 ..sorry not the subject of posts but where in UK did you live .. we were in London - Battersea, Fulham, Kingsbury, Harrow etc.
@lacy2
I lived in Ipswich Suffolk.I had relatives in London. I’m in U.S. now
@brenda1944 ...thanks. I left UK 1962 to come to Canada, alone at age 18.... thought might stay 2 years, but ended up .....still here. Transplants continue to live but I still have soil on my "roots." Take care, J.
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2 Reactions...whatever word is used, first time for a while I really felt down today.... just increase in pain with my non life threatening but life altering physical ailments... years ago dealing with depression or other D-words... all had a reason...Psychatrist once said (if I remember his words correctly) that it was more difficult when someone depressed "without a cause/reason..." but isnt there always a reason?
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1 Reaction@lacy2 oh definitely my mom has called me lazy and even an addict
Which broke my heart! Why do people have to be so cruel? No answer for that. Apologies
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2 Reactions