Dealing with anxiety & depression and chronic stress

Are you seeing a therapist are you seeing a psychiatrist for meds? If not you have to at least see a psychiatrist You need to be put on some meds. If you can't handle this on your own. I know what your age you probably don't want to be on meds but this is a truly difficult time. And taking it until the problem is solved will help please trust me I'm 67, and anxiety and depression is debilitating and we want to live the rest of our life as best as we can Good luck

I have anxiety and my mom at 80, has struggled with anxiety and depression since her teenage years. My dad managed her challenges until he passed, now my mom is on meds.
First question is, are you aware of your thoughts where you feel depressed or anxious?
You have been struggling since your mid-20s and now you are 85, bravo for making it to 85, managing challenges.

My suggestion, seek a therapist and don’t pursue medications. When you feel depressed or anxious, you are either thinking of the past or future. Breath, go outside, talk to friends. The key is to be present, sure meds could help but at 85, they could do more harm than good.

Welcome to Mayo Connect, Ellen! I’m hoping that you will find new friends, and the support that you need, during this time of anxiety and depression! I have been so blessed to have had the opportunity to connect with others, going through similar problems as I have, myself! Stress is a harbinger of deep emotion, and certainly can bring on depression and anxiety! I am nearly 80, saddled with a boatload, seemingly, of medically related problems, which have caused me severe anxiety at times, in some instances, and depression, at other times! After I had a grand mal seizure, that lasted a bit, and landed me in another country’s hospital, while visiting family, I became depressed, for many reasons! I woke up in a foreign country’s. hospital, from the seizure, and had to be transported across borders, in order to be transferred to an American hospital! I had a management job, where I ran a Victorian hotel, in a touristy area, to return to! So, the uncertainty, where I wasn’t allowed to drive for months, plus concerns about whether I was able to perform my duties, at the hotel, was making me depressed! Then, a number of years later, I suffered from severe anxiety when I had my first awareness of having atrial fibrillation, when I could feel my heart move around, like in distress in my chest, and then no regular pulse, it scared the wits out of me, so to speak! The patients who have also had seizures and/or atrial fibrillation, and share their stories, and concerns, in this forum, Mayo connect, have made all the difference with me, concerning coping with these and other medical problems, that I have. Good luck, and try to stay positive!

I feel like anything with the word “chronic” in it produces a rollercoaster of challenges. I am recovering from 17 mos of chronic pain which affected every part of my life…including accelerating my depression. I ended up having bilateral hip replacements and several procedures on my lower back and now I’m in recovery. I have discovered that Buddhism classes have opened my eyes to what I can control, which is nothing really. I also listen to and read slot of Kristen Neff on self compassion. In difficult times we tend to best ourselves up a lot and self compassion is a way to steer ourselves away from blame, shame, depression, despair…you name it. Also, just having a spa day once in awhile …some way to really relax, is a nice treat.

I hate to say this but everything stemsfrom our parents, mentally, physically and genetically.
Have you looked into this deeply?

@malebreastcancer47 I agree with your idea of living in the now but sometimes that is not possible if brain chemistry is not balanced. Medication has to be handled carefully but can be helpful rather than harmful. It depends on the needs of the person.

Have you talked to your doctor? Have they listened to you? If not ask for another doctor? Good luck to you and I'm so sorry you're going through what you're going through 💕

@joetex She is 85 yrs old and has made this far without meds. Why do meds now?
Any med recommendation by anyone on Mayo connect is our journey, I think a doctor has examine her before recommending a cure so she feels better. Everything has side effects and once you are hooked, there’s no going back to normal and self-managing.

I am 50 yrs old, on top of ADHD, anxiety PTSD, I am on a daily cancer treatment. I work hard with alt methods to reduce side effects. My Mayo oncology team suggested a low dose of anxiety meds, I refused. I love the alt approach. Even a med for hot flashes and brain fog. I said No to all. I want to fight like Ellen. 🙂

@malebreastcancer47 I’m 84. I don’t consider taking a medication that your body needs to heal or to function properly being “hooked”. That’s just me.

I agree! The medication route is NOT the one to initially travel down!! And Oh, Surprise! Psychiatrist's typically do only medication management and no therapy at all... so more than likely you will be placed on medication.
@synthiame take a look at the BEERS list. This is a list created by CMS of all the medications that are NOT recommended for the elderly. Perhaps a therapist, even a social worker that is a licensed cousenlor, a psychologist or psychD would be beneficial. But would definitely stay away from Practitioners wanting you to initially start taking medication.