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Hubby is not on same page regarding his daughter and our will HELP
I am dealing with my husband's daughter who is more than normally interested in our wills and what we have.
Hubby, at 85 has been having a series of heart problems along with a bad hip he refused to have replaced, and a pinched nerve. Thus he has a difficult time getting around and doing things.
I, at 78 have one leg with a failed knee replacement and have my own mobility problems that require me to use a walker.
We moved to this area 13 years ago because this daughter told her father she would help him out as he aged. She lives 5 miles away. We see her maybe 2-3 times a year because she is too busy chasing garage sales, auctions and trying to find things cheap. She doesn't bother with us at Christmas, drops off a plate of cookles a few days before. I know you are asking why. Because she and her hubby are well off and spend big money on their adult boys and themselves for Christmas and they want to play with the "new toys". Also it looks shabby when you get a thrift store ashtray as a gift, nicely wrapped though, with the less than a buck sticker still on the back..... AND you don't smoke!
Hubby has been having his problems and lately has been fluttering around more often. No, she doesn't come by to help out or such, she wants to know if we have wills and what is in them and what is in it for her! I am not exaggerating. Hubby (H) just told me today she has been talking to hin about the contents of his will when I am not around. He evaded it because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. He still thinks she is going to help us out.
I will be very frank and direct when I state that she scares the begesus out of me and always has. Her only thought is of herself and her boys. She once told us she would leave her husband but where else could she find someone that made such a good living! Honestly!
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Do what my mom did.
She left all but a tiny fraction of her considerable estate to the Humane Society. After my Dad passed, she made it clear that we kids were on our own. No ruffled feathers. We all love animals.
What now.
We talked about updating our wills. He has 3 children and I only have. I just found out that, he too, is very concerned she will get more than his kids and it has shocked me.
My thing is to leave all we accumulated together, including the house to him with the exception of things that may be family heirlooms like jewelry, china etc. These are things that I inherited through my Grandma and Mom, noting we accumulated during our marriage.
He agreed, to a point, since my daughter gets the heirlooms, each one of his children, including loon should get a minimum of $25,000 and a portion of the house after I am gone! That doesm't work for me so now I have been called greedy and he has walked off of discussions.
I knew something was going on. I don't know what to do to protect myself. The house is in both our names but I don't think it is right of survivorship, just when you sign a real estate contract with both John Smith and Sara Smith.
Hi @kartwk, I moved your recent post to the earlier discussion that you started on the topic of step families and making wills. I did this so you can continue to connect with the people who are following your story.
I agree with @roch and others that you're best to get some intermediary help. An estate planning lawyer can help with the details of the will. However it sounds like you and your husband have other things to discuss. It might be beneficial to seek the help of a social worker or other third party to help work out the relationship intricacies and emotional impact that this topic has raised.
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2 ReactionsYou should also consider contacting an elder care agency because it sounds like you have no close by family you can depend on in a pinch. You didn’t say whether your children visited you or vis a versa? My other concern for you both is home mobility due to your physical constraints and spouses advancing age, etc.
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