How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?

Posted by rsfcowgirl @rsfcowgirl, Mar 6, 2023

Most medical professionals are the greatest people in the world bc they choose work that helps humanity. (Or animals) But sometimes people with serious problems qualify for Medical licenses. They have a different face towards their peers who they seek acceptance from than they often have to their patients behind closed doors when they don't truly value patients as people. I had the misfortune of just concluding a year with an abuser.
This doctor was an independent PCP + based in an office without oversight, which is not unusual. I'm a single Senior woman. I was stricken w COVID twice+ then signed in with him for treatment of many debilitating unresolved symptoms. He looked good on paper in terms of credentials. He had openings and I needed a PCP.
He had an initial interest in deciphering my symptoms. Blood panels were perfect. He ordered an MRI to rule out a stroke bc of what was PASC but which he didn't acknowledge. The imaging revealed a meningioma brain tumor. However, the local neurosurgeon and 2 Top Ten specials indicated it was benign but untreatable for various reasons, but with the good news was that it was asymptomatic + not the cause of my symptoms. Repeated MRI showed no changes. It is expected to never become a problem. I am simply on tumor watch.
I moved to N Carolina after a lifetime on the other side of the country, just months before COVID arrived. Prior, I had decades long warm+ wonderful relationships with my doctors, who honestly never were wrong. They were just that good. But I didn't have any serious problems to require ongoing care for anything other than a disc injury that I recovered from without surgery. So I expected to continue on my same course after moving.
This PCP has real Dark Triad + sadistic pathologies. He began a campaign of doom for me, rejecting all above neuro reports+ hammering his view that my life was going downhill without any form of help. He rejected any other diagnosis like Post COVID. He was verbally+ emotionally abusive unlike anyone ever spoke to me. When I brought in a wrong form he called me by phone and said my mistake "WAS UNACCEPTABLE!" in a tone like 'BAD DOG!" He often sat w his back to me+ never look at me during visits, after. He's a large man+ his contempt+ arrogance were palpable. I have trauma from previous crime. I gave him a LEO phone number to call at their request + he refused, blasting me for a " conspiracy theory" + mandated that I may never mention it again. It was horrible. I posted here Nov I wanted to change Drs. Never got to. This guy began harassment by not reordering my 1 medication I take for several symptoms which also suppresses potential seizures tho he got multiple requests. He let the Rx run out over Thanksgiving then approaching Xmas. He saw me the day before Christmas Eve. I had not a full dose of meds for days. I said to him - he wasnt treating me for anything, I had no care plan + why couldn't be just refill my Rx in time. I had an deep infection beginning on my sternum + my BP standing was dropping to 70/30, at home, which he never took standing, after he walked in exam room.
He became infuriated! Cold controlled rage + contempt. He said, "We're done here, right now. You'll get a letter." Punctuated w his forefinger tapping the table. Shocked but ill, I asked to be transferred to another of the 20 Drs in the building+ he said absolutely not, that he won't allow me to be seen there. He said with dripping contemptuous sarcasm "Good luck finding another Dr. " I then told him he failed as a Dr much more. He was 100% statue like + non responsive to everything. We had a below zero rare freeze alert pending that night then Xmas long holiday. He renewed Rx but pharmacy was out of stock. I went back+ did get some but I ended up having my first seizure as soon as I could get home. Without timely care for the bacterial infection, it spread fast. In days when services reopened I needed office surgery + now I've been told I need thoracic surgery under general anesthesia to complete the tx. Dr said had I been treated timely none of this would have developed Lost my (minor PT) job bc I couldnt work. Was on antibiotics for a month w side effects. Biggest ending: He excoriated me in his final medical records, creating false impressions and distorted content. A vile smear job. Just FYI, my career was as an RN Specialist at the very top internationally recognized hospitals. I never mentioned this to him until he terminated me with callous disregard for my welfare, since I'm retired. He never asked about me. But I confronted him as a dangerous doctor. He was totally stunned. But caught. Dr E is not typical. But it does happen. It happened to me. He intended to extend his abusive reach into my future healthcare via medical records. But I'm blocking them + silencing his evil voice.
This is surely an anomaly. But it does happen to innocent patients behind closed doors of licensed medical professionals who are of the Dark Triad personality disorder w sadistic enjoyments.
I got a much needed cardiology consult on my own w problems identity, + under tx. I connected w someone for Post COVID tx + it's helping
These are all basic txs I could've had a yr ago.
Chest surgery is hopefully going to be easy. The surgeon is highly respected + known to be kind.
That's my nightmare story.
Any support would be appreciated. I'm still shaken by this. But moving forward.

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Hi all, I'd like to bring this discussion back on track. It is a action-oriented discussion on how patients can advocate for the care they need and deserve when facing challenges with a particular provider. Different health systems in different countries may have different mechanisms of recourse and offer different resources to help. Thus it can be useful to mention in which jurisdiction you receive health care.

This is not a place to discuss or dispute the merits of one juridiction's health care over another. Location, finances, mobility and other factors will all present challenges to getting good health care.

Please note the Community Guidelines (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/) that help keep the Mayo Clinic Connect community safe, supportive, inclusive, and respectful. In particular note guideline number 2:
2. Remain respectful at all times.
- Exercise tolerance and respect toward other participants whose views may differ from your own.
- Disagreements are fine, but mutual respect is a must.
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For this reason, some posts have been removed or edited. Let us return to supporting one another as we each advocate to get good care for our health regardless of where we live.

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@rsfcowgirl

Thanks Becky. Right idea.
I think being on time is critical. And being organized in your mind as to what you want the Dr to address so you can get you the point faster. Time is such a premium now. It's also good to have a list of what has improved or resolved since your last visit to update the Provider. I think that sets a good starting note.

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I couldn’t agree more. I find doctors are greater partners in our health if we are fair about acknowledging what’s working for us. Heck, I don’t like being around people who are negative ALL the time. I think we have to help provide solution ideas, and most importantly, we have to be willing to work to achieve health improvement. That may include lifestyle changes and sacrifices. Healing doesn’t always come from a magical pill.

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I always try to bring a list, hopefully a short list, of what I want to talk about during a visit. I may not remember everything so the list is helpful with that. I hate it when the appointment is done and something I considered important was skipped.
I find it is best to prioritize the list. Put the important stuff first. If you don't get to everything down the list at least it was the less important stuff that got skipped. Sometimes you can see stuff that doesn't really need to be on the list and that helps keep it short.
This also gives me a place to write down comments or answers to questions or at least some keywords from the discussion.

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@becsbuddy

Hi, everyone, I think we’re focusing too much on what’s wrong in healthcare instead of what’s good. We’ll get ourselves “down in the dumps” if we focus on the negative too much.
So, what are some ways we can make a doctor visit more positive? What are some good examples of what has worked for you?

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I was having cognitive problems post-COVID approx 18 months ago. I had to do the following in order to have a meaningful appt. It may be something someone else may need to do at some point.
I wrote down a list of symptoms+ problems. I just handed it to the Dr when he came into the room. He looked it over and he decided what to follow up with. It was the only thing I could do, but it worked best for the condition I was in. I was sleeping 12-18 hrs at a time, unsedated, w just water + BR awakenings most of the week at the time. My memory was unreliable+ almost absent. I put the notepad at bedside. I wrote down my problems in one or two words. The list was only one page w poor handwriting but this was my only "voice" at that time of my appt.
The Dr. decided what was important. Sometimes you have to let the Dr. make the priorities. Sometimes you need to do that yourself.

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First of all, if a doctor exhibits abusive and unprofessional behavior toward you, be sure to document everything on paper and date it. I would get another doctor. You can report him/her to his superior if that applies and report him/her to your State Medical Board.

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I agree, doctors can do great things. Without them many of us would not be here right now. I believe that having reasonable expectations when you see a doctor is really important. They are doctors but they can't fix everything and many times they need to make referrals. Referrals take time they don't happen right away. I know people can get so upset that they have to wait and wait, including me. I just think having reasonable expectations and you go to a doctor, and understanding that if something's wrong that that doctor doesn't specialize in, that you may have to see someone that does and that can take a little while for the referral to go through and to get in to see another doctor. I think we could all be a little more patient even though it's very hard when it comes to our own health and the well-being of our family members.
Angela

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@dbeshears1 Debbie, this was in Medscape+ WSJ today. Hospitals are installing 'black boxes' in Operating Rooms. You were ahead of the curve!

"In an effort to improve performance, 24 hospitals in the U.S., Canada, and Europe are using the what's called the OR Black Box to gather detailed information about what goes on in operating rooms (ORs), the Wall Street Journalopens in a new tab or window reported.

Like the black box on an airplane, this system collects information that can be reviewed later, including video, audio, patient vital signs, and other data from devices in the room. The data can then be used to reduce errors, improve patient safety, and make OR processes more efficient. It also allows hospitals to try to figure out how an operation went wrong if there was an error.

Some OR staff were initially skeptical of a technology that they worried could be used against them, but the chief quality officer at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center told the Wall Street Journal that after staff were reassured about the data that would be collected and used, "it quickly became an accepted part of the hospital's culture."

Device maker Surgical Safety Technologies said the system blurs out faces to de-identify patients and personnel.

UT Southwestern Medical Center is using the system to understand what practices high-performing operating teams use. Duke University Hospital is using their black boxes to improve patient positioning and improve skin and nerve injuries. It's not yet clear whether or not the technology could be used in medical malpractice litigation."

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@rsfcowgirl

@dbeshears1 Debbie, this was in Medscape+ WSJ today. Hospitals are installing 'black boxes' in Operating Rooms. You were ahead of the curve!

"In an effort to improve performance, 24 hospitals in the U.S., Canada, and Europe are using the what's called the OR Black Box to gather detailed information about what goes on in operating rooms (ORs), the Wall Street Journalopens in a new tab or window reported.

Like the black box on an airplane, this system collects information that can be reviewed later, including video, audio, patient vital signs, and other data from devices in the room. The data can then be used to reduce errors, improve patient safety, and make OR processes more efficient. It also allows hospitals to try to figure out how an operation went wrong if there was an error.

Some OR staff were initially skeptical of a technology that they worried could be used against them, but the chief quality officer at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center told the Wall Street Journal that after staff were reassured about the data that would be collected and used, "it quickly became an accepted part of the hospital's culture."

Device maker Surgical Safety Technologies said the system blurs out faces to de-identify patients and personnel.

UT Southwestern Medical Center is using the system to understand what practices high-performing operating teams use. Duke University Hospital is using their black boxes to improve patient positioning and improve skin and nerve injuries. It's not yet clear whether or not the technology could be used in medical malpractice litigation."

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I can understand the medical profession's initial skepticism re: malpractice, but I think malpractice is for cases of malicious intent, not "accidents", so they should be more comforted I hope (plus we patients sign releases).
I admit that my thinking came from recent news coverage; a patient reported a very reputable medical practice to the news because she found a camera in her exam room and was concerned about it, and they made a story of it. I felt bad for the medical practice because they had to explain & convince that the camera was disabled during her visit, that the reason it was there as a permanent fixture was because they're a teaching institution, and some things are recorded for educational purposes, especially during Covid when student access to medical facilities had to be limited; they further explained that there would be standard consent forms patients would sign in advance if they agreed to being recorded or having a student present during an exam. I felt bad that the complaint sounded like finding a camera in a department store dressing room.
That is what made me think "Why not?" Just hand the patient (or his representative) the remote control and tell them if they're comfortable with it, feel free to turn the camera on. But phrasing it as a black box is brilliant. Today we really need to keep medical costs down; lowering injuries & medical spending while improving efficiency & employee morale helps the medical system be profitable, and savings are passed down to patients through reduced medical premiums and better medical outcomes!

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@dbeshears1

I can understand the medical profession's initial skepticism re: malpractice, but I think malpractice is for cases of malicious intent, not "accidents", so they should be more comforted I hope (plus we patients sign releases).
I admit that my thinking came from recent news coverage; a patient reported a very reputable medical practice to the news because she found a camera in her exam room and was concerned about it, and they made a story of it. I felt bad for the medical practice because they had to explain & convince that the camera was disabled during her visit, that the reason it was there as a permanent fixture was because they're a teaching institution, and some things are recorded for educational purposes, especially during Covid when student access to medical facilities had to be limited; they further explained that there would be standard consent forms patients would sign in advance if they agreed to being recorded or having a student present during an exam. I felt bad that the complaint sounded like finding a camera in a department store dressing room.
That is what made me think "Why not?" Just hand the patient (or his representative) the remote control and tell them if they're comfortable with it, feel free to turn the camera on. But phrasing it as a black box is brilliant. Today we really need to keep medical costs down; lowering injuries & medical spending while improving efficiency & employee morale helps the medical system be profitable, and savings are passed down to patients through reduced medical premiums and better medical outcomes!

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I got my wish that if I had surgery under general anesthesia it would be recorded. I love this idea. And is clearly for patient care improvement. How timely your discussion was tho.

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@frouke

Andytheman, I relate to you completely, I’m endlessly stressed about my doctor who’s been treating me like a stranger.. I’ve been with him for 23 years now and I haven’t had an office visit in 3 years, everything is by phone..they offer 10 min. appointments but I haven’t had one. In 2020 I got a cancer diagnosis and he referred me to a surgeon who is also a disgrace to his profession…he preformed well in the operating room but he has zero manners and says profound things that scares me. So long story short, what can I do about it…apparently not too much, I will keep trying to get help for myself and and pray for some resolution other than dying from neglect. I’ve always been a survivor and I try not to lose hope, sometimes reading all the things that go on with other people gives me some help that I’m not alone but sadly I can only get some hope from comfort in numbers.

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My Dr also ignored my SE blood test for 7 yrs. A day b4 my 58 th birthday I got another dr to get that test done. Talking on the phone with him yesterday. He says my CT scan. Without dye. Never showed my kidney or UTETER stones. Nor my belly button hernia. Have had it for a year. I had to call Cancer Care Manitoba for my results. So now all my problems have disappeared!!! WOW! REALLY??!!
If you Have MGUS WHAT TYPES OF TREATMENT OR MEDICATIONS ARE YOU USING. ALSO HAS ANYONE HAD INFECTIONS?Constant. Starts like a small pimple. But it comes from inside pushing it’s way to the surface. Scars. Had so many antibiotics I stopped taking them. No Drs have ever told me what infection I have. EVER! On trigger points,nerves,face,legs. Oh pain in the legs. Lord help me!! Ok Thanks so much. Will be back to read and reply T

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