COPD and Can’t Commit to Quitting Smoking

I too am having a very hard time to quit smoking even though I know it’s the worst thing I could do. I have severe anxiety, no medication helps and cigarettes are my crutch. I do have patches and gum, everyday I tell myself to use them and I don’t. I read all the previous suggestions yet still haven’t stopped. I have severe COPD. I need help.

Oh boy! Do I ever know your current situation @peacelovejoy! I was a dedicated smoker of cigarettes for 42 years. It is an addiction. And to those who serve their cigarettes demands, the embarrassment of defending our little "friend" keeps us in a vicious cycle.
There is only one way to quit smoking.
What is it you ask?
The way that works for you! It is in YOUR power to stop, not a patch, not an e-cigarette, not gum...those all contain the drug you crave.
I quit January 8, 2018. For anyone with this addiction, you never forget the momentous day of ending your slavery to this little, stupid, liar. I said your same words... "I can't quit because I can't handle the stress in my life". Cigarettes lie. We think we need them to calm down. We need them to enjoy a party. We need them to think. We need them if we have a cocktail. We need them when we are happy. We need them when we are sad, mad, stressed. It's all a lie. The truth is it is an addiction. And it is the most powerfully addictive substance on Earth. More addicting than heroin. The withdrawals are nothing like heroin though...it's in our mind where the addiction lives.
May I suggest a book that really helped me? Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking. I found it fascinating how nicotine works in the brain, and the psychology behind all of it. It has been 5 years since I smoked my last cigarette. I will not say it was easy. It was really, really a battle in the beginning. But I wanted to be the one in control, not allow some stupid little object to control me. Cigarettes are liars! I won't say I still don't want one, but the times I crave them are further and further apart. I was so amazed one day when I realized I didn't even think of having a smoke once that day. That is when I knew...I made it! Every person is different. I quit cold turkey. I read that only 8% of cold turkey quitters make it. I am one of them. Some things that helped me in the very beginning: I went to the Dollar Store and got bags of hot cinnamon hard candy. I had a habit in the evening of smoking between commercials on TV, so when a commercial came on I would go straighten the linen closet, or my shoe rack, or the pantry, or my sock drawer. I kept my hands busy and my mind occupied with a task so I could ignore how badly I really wanted a smoke. It all worked eventually, but it was not easy. The Allen Carr book was helpful in the explanation of the little monster who lived in my head, demanding me, telling me, lying to me, that I "need" a cigarette. We need food, water, shelter, community. We do not need cigarettes.
I really do understand where you are coming from. I hated that I smoked. It's like we are outcasts in society and get dirty looks from people who are so much smarter and better then us. We are banned from buildings, and are just generally lowly people. I also really, truly believed, with all my heart, that I would never enjoy my life again without my little friend. I feared not having them when I was stressed. I needed them after all. But again, it is just a lie. So here is the truth: Stress will always be part of our lives, period. Whether you smoke or not, the cigarettes add no value, do not fix problems, and hurt your health. It's easy for others to look at a 600 pound person who eats all day and is going to die. Why don't they just stop eating? It's killing them! Or in your case, being diagnosed with COPD, knowing it is from your addiction. Why don't you just stop? It's killing you! It sounds easy to say unless you walk in your shoes. So @peacelovejoy, I do understand. I did walk in your shoes. And I pray you find the will to live your best life, free from the little liars as soon as possible. Make today be your last day spent serving your cigarettes, and tomorrow a new beginning. Free. The feeling of being free from them is amazing! Every year in January, I add up how much money I saved from not smoking. In my case it would be around $1,000. A year! Anyway, I buy myself a little something. Like a pair of boots. Or a pretty new outfit. The point is there is absolutely NO downside to quitting. You save your health, which is the most precious commodity, you save money, you feel better, smell better, and life is better. You know the downside. Nobody has to ask you, 'don't you know what you are doing to yourself?' Of course we know! We are just slaves to the little monster inside our head. Quitting changed my life for the better in ways I can't describe to you. Oh how I wish the same for you!
After you learn that cigarettes are just liars, what do you think will be the biggest obstacle you face?

I've heard of a number of people who used Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking...and they all swear by it. Personally, I haven't pulled the trigger...

Listen
You can and have to do this. Get the patches!! Seriously.
My Mom is now a lung cancer survivor and has COPD. At 71 we got her off the cigarettes using the patches. BUT...... it took 2 years of patches not 6 weeks.

We started at the 21 mg patches and she stayed there for a while. She had other medical issues going on and was dealing with added stress so we kept her on the 21 mg patches. The nicotine is what helps with anxiety and has that calming effect. IN patch form it isnt going to cause cancer.
Then we dropped to the 14mg patch and kept her there for a long time. Finally down to the 7mg patches and then off.. She has done fine. says she doesn't crave cigarettes at all and hates how they smell on others now.

Find a provider who will prescribe those patches . You might need to do additional paperwork to get them covered for longer than the reg period of time, but we got Moms covered.
Her provider prescribed them for smoking cessation and also anxiety. You might also consider if medically appropriate a low dose of ativan if you deal with anxiety at least during the first few weeks or when you drop down to the next dose.

Mom worked with Mayo providers on this and psychiatry . It worked for her, but again we took 2 years to get her off the patches. Nice and slow and easy. But you dont smoke at all once you go to the patch.....
Oh, and I wouldnt use the mints or the gum. Stick to the patches.
The oral versions of the nicotine still put you at risk for various cancers and are absorbed differently , can have a different impact and cause other issues like indigestion and stomach or GI problems. etc..

Best wishes

Never been addicted to smoking (have COPD from COVID, dealt with other addiction outside of that), but second hand, my suggestions are...

1) try to strongly associate all of your worst symptoms with smoking, as in maybe pick up and hold a cigarette when they are happening, or at least repeatedly think, " The cigarettes do this to me." Otherwise, keep the cigarettes out of sight when you are not having symptoms. Logically, you KNOW cigarettes make your condition worse, you KNOW smoking prevents you from feeling better, so see if you can get your brain to understand that this is what does this to you.

2) Stop using cigarettes for nicotine: switch gum and/or patches, or even chewing tobacco. What's killing you is the smoke itself, not the nicotine, though that is bad for you too. If you've been smoking for that long, you aren't going to be able to just quit on the spot without serious and long withdrawal: switch to something safer, and wean yourself off.

3) If you haven't been drinking coffee, you definitely need to start, as taking another stimulant will take the edge off of withdrawal, and caffeine is far less destructive to your body than nicotine. I know that every time I've had to go through drug withdrawal, keeping caffeine in my system has helped me to stay good.

It sounds like you understand the decision you need to make here, and from what you're saying about even managing to stop for a couple days, it sounds like you have the dedication and strength that you need. Sometimes you just need to change your approach a little, work smart not hard.

You can do it!