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Caregiver Sleep Disruptions and Threat of Wandering
My husband Gary came into my room at 5:30 AM dressed in a warm sweater to tell me he was going out to attend to his businesses. I told him it was too early in the morning and to go back to sleep. This really freaked me out and I got up and he was in the kitchen. He had forgotten his plan to go out. My gut tells me that he’s not going to start wandering outside but if he’s going to wake me up at 5:30 every morning, that will be a problem.
I’m going to start to try to keep him up later at night so he goes to bed at 9:30 or 10 instead of 7:45-8 and see if that helps. I hope this will prove to be an occasional not constant problem. I also ordered him an ID bracelet with my cell phone number in case he does get out. He never carries his cell phone but I have tracker fobs in his wallet and on his key chain.
I had moved to another bedroom a couple of months ago because he was waking up at 4:30 or so in the morning and opening drawers and putting on his clothes, waking me up. I put a sign on the door of my new room telling him I was sleeping there and not to wake me. He’s been pretty good about it up to now. He has come in to wake me from time to time but never before 7:30 or 8. I can deal with that, but not 5:30. I stay up to 11 or 12 at night because the time after his bedtime is my only consistent alone time. I can talk to my BFF who lives in California - 3 time zones away. I have struggled with insomnia over the years and finally have had it manageable up to now. This new wrinkle is very upsetting.
Please share any advice you may have or simply share if you’re dealing with this too.
Many thanks,
Sleepy Cheryl
New York City
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Hi, @cheryl16 I wish I had a bunch of suggestions but I only have one. When my wife struggled with times I switched our clocks to military time. It helped her (and me) a lot.
My wife only slept for two hours at a time for years and I did come to adjust to that.
I wish you strength, courage, & peace
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4 ReactionsIN our relationship, I am the early riser and my husband goes to bed late (often falling asleep on the living room couch while watching t.v.). His comings and goings in the bedroom used to disturb my sleep, until I purchased a noise machine (Snooz) and a mask, which blocks out all light. In hot weather we use a fan instead of the Snooz. I don't even hear when he gets into bed now, and he doesn't hear when I get up. A king-size adjustable bed helps.
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4 ReactionsThanks for your input, Scott. We bought a clock that specifies the time of day but unfortunately he doesn’t relate early morning to appropriate time to wake up or wake me up. Kudos to you to adjusting to being wakened up every two hours. I don’t think I could do it. A saving grace in our marriage HAD been that he slept like a log all through the night.
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2 ReactionsHi. I have had my own bedroom for about 3 years now. I pull my door close to shut but always open a bit to hear what moves my wife makes. Notwithstanding what I do to try to get her to sleep, her hours change from day to day. I am up at all hours. the earliest 2: 30am. Some days she sleeps most of the day and gets really mad when I try to keep her awake. I just learned to live with it. the worst thing for me is her talking to herself all the time, even at very early hours. I have tried signs on doors to no avail. I put cardboard with masking tape in the door openings so that the door noises are muzzled to some degree. I wish there was an easy answer but I have not found it yet.
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4 ReactionsHi Jillsy,
Wanna trade husbands? Just kidding.
I am now in a separate bedroom and I do use a white noise machine or our a/c is noisy enough. I’m just afraid now that I won’t hear him if he does try to leave the apartment.
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2 ReactionsElsmore,
Yup, no easy answers. Have you tried a white noise machine to mask her early morning monologues?
For me, I think my husband is bored being up alone in the morning before i wake up. I wish I could think of activities or chores for him to do. He does straighten up the living room couch and make his bed. I’ve tried to launch him on some projects I thought he’d like but I haven’t hit on anything yet. He does like to clean. Maybe I can get him dusting. If he’ll remember from one day to the next.
Yup, no easy answers.
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3 ReactionsIs there some sort of alarm you could get to alert you if your husband leaves the apartment? Maybe an associate at Best Buy could help you, or you could contact the well-known tech guru, Kim Komando (komando.com) for help.
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4 ReactionsThanks,, Jillsy. No Best Buy near here but thanks for the Kim Komondor resource. I’ll check it out.
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1 ReactionKim Komando She has newsletters, podcasts, and is very interesting and entertaining.
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2 ReactionsThere are quite a few alert "systems" on Amazon also.
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