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Caregiver for husband with Parkinson's and Lewy body dementia

Posted by dem2301 @dem2301, May 13, 2019

I'm new to this platform but here goes. I'm the sole caregiver for my husband of 48 years. He has Parkinson disease and Lewey body dementia.Today he had a hallucination and as I tried to reassure and redirect he became very irritated with me. I guess I'm not sure what the best approach is. Do I try and redirect or just be there for support. He doesn't strike out physically. Thank for any suggestions.

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providence1960 | @providence1960 | May 20, 2019
In reply to @rmftucker "Yes, I agree with Scott. My husband had hallucinations and delusions and arguing only produced agitation,..." + (show)
@rmftucker

Yes, I agree with Scott. My husband had hallucinations and delusions and arguing only produced agitation, so best to just agree or try to eliminate the source of the hallucination. My husband insisted the neighbor was flashing lights at him. I discovered it was the wind blowing the bird feeder and the street light was shining off that. No amount of trying to explain to him so I just removed the birdfeeder and that eliminated the problem. Sometimes just agreeing and going on is best.

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So true...I learned that with my uncle and then with my mother. It hurts to see this happening but there is no choice except to move on as best as we can.

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HomeAlone | @msberen | Feb 12 8:41pm

Hello, my husband has Parkinsons and FrontoTemporal Dementia so I understand that the hallucinations are concerning. What I do is allow him to talk about what he is seeing or hearing. Sometimes it doesn’t seem necessary to correct him. If it’s not bothering him I just let him tell me what he is seeing or hearing. Sometimes I tell him it’s not there or what he is hearing isn’t there. It all depends on what I think is needed at the time. I don’t know if your husband’s hallucinations frighten him. Hopefully they do not. My husband sees things that are not scary to him. If your husband is afraid I think listening to him then explaining that it’s not real would be a comfort to him. Sometimes my husband gets agitated if I don’t see what he does so I have to tell him that its not real. The thing to keep in mind is that it’s important not to embarrass him or take away his dignity. Listening, loving and understanding are the best things you can do for him.

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Feb 13 8:10am
In reply to @msberen "Hello, my husband has Parkinsons and FrontoTemporal Dementia so I understand that the hallucinations are concerning...." + (show)
@msberen

Hello, my husband has Parkinsons and FrontoTemporal Dementia so I understand that the hallucinations are concerning. What I do is allow him to talk about what he is seeing or hearing. Sometimes it doesn’t seem necessary to correct him. If it’s not bothering him I just let him tell me what he is seeing or hearing. Sometimes I tell him it’s not there or what he is hearing isn’t there. It all depends on what I think is needed at the time. I don’t know if your husband’s hallucinations frighten him. Hopefully they do not. My husband sees things that are not scary to him. If your husband is afraid I think listening to him then explaining that it’s not real would be a comfort to him. Sometimes my husband gets agitated if I don’t see what he does so I have to tell him that its not real. The thing to keep in mind is that it’s important not to embarrass him or take away his dignity. Listening, loving and understanding are the best things you can do for him.

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Hello @msberen ,

You are remarkably sensitive to your husband's cognitive issues. Have you had training or mentoring in how to communicate with a dementia patient? How long has your husband lived with impaired cognition and hallucinations?

Even though the Connect name you chose is "home alone" I do hope that you have some support so that you can take care of yourself. What are some of the ways that you care for your own needs?

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