Recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

vicscats,
I'm not sure if your post was intended for me, ShelleyW? Let me know.
I am functioning on a small piece of my brain right now. Not for pity, I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring your post. I don't trust my brain to know if your post was maybe meant for someone else.
Most importantly 🩷🩵💛 these are for you. It matters more than anything else, your daughter has gentle loving support with you. You are both blessed to have each other. Enjoy the weekend. ShelleyW

@msmerz - I wonder if I could ask you more about DBT? In concept, as I've read about it, I understand it is about managing your emotions (as you mentioned above: "learning to control emotions").

Maybe it's not for me, because when I've read about it, (& I did discuss this briefly with a former psychiatrist), my immediate reaction was to reject it, because of being told and shown all my young (and young adult) life, into the present that my emotions and perceptions were not valid, important or 'convenient', even were to be reviled (as in "how dare you [say that] after all I've done for you?"), and so on. "Stuffing (down) my emotions" by "managing, controlling them" seems fundamentally contrary to my struggle for existence, to be seen as an individual with valid perceptions and life experience.

May I ask you - even briefly here - if DBT offers anything for someone with my experience? Because, at the age of nearly 68 years, I need to be open to other avenues, as I've yet to "crack" the struggle my internal life has been, with its external consequences. (And, BTW, I have had many external successes, but they seem fleeting, I minimize them, and/or they are hard to sustain for any period of time).

Thank you ahead of time. With all due respect, not asking for therapy, but to expand on how DBT is best applied.

Thanks for your thoughtful request. As an individual, I think it's simply best to look for therapists in your area who are will versed in DBT and use it in their practice. Google can help with this, I believe. I like the way DBT gives direct help in dealing with emotions as well as in dealing with others. There are books and workbooks to purchase that define the work of it all and give exercises as you go along. I think most people find it difficult to stick to the program (for whatever reasons), so sticking to it with the help of a therapist seems like a great idea to me - such as combining the work from book, exercises with the work of therapy.

@msmerz - Thank you so much.
I will be asking my latest therapist about this. I do have some of the books, but I need interaction to have any chance of it getting through.
Best wishes. 😌

Best wishes to you. I will say that friends and family that one keeps in their lives, and who one stays close to, do not ever do such things as put one's feelings and thoughts in a negative light, but strive to understand you and support you. This is a battle I fought for a while and I have now gotten to the point that I do not tolerate that in anyone. I feel very happy with me and my life now. I'm 75 - don't wait that long - take the chance that they will hate you and leave you - what do you have to lose!

Controlling your emotions is not at all the same as stuffing them!

@msmerz Thank you so much.

I understand what you are saying, and definitely agree that I will not tolerate this in anyone around me.

And wow! To be actually able to say "I feel very happy with me and my life now"...THAT is an accomplishment. I'm still travelling this bumpy road with that destination in mind.

For all of us, please do continue to share your experience and wisdom...seems there's never enough to go around, but MCC is thankfully here to help smooth that road.

Warm wishes.