Bipolar and ideas of how to help ourselves beyond medication

@amberpep

Hi, Abby.

I can only speak for myself, of course, but I'm fairly certain that after being in the dark hole of depression for a long time, I'm not alone in saying that 6 is my new 9. Ya know what I mean?

I know that I lived a relatively happy life, but I can't really remember what it felt like. I quite possibly will never get back to my pre-depression self. That's not negative thinking. It's just facing the reality of this dis-ease. I can still have peace in my mind and heart, even if I've come to realize that this is as good as it gets.

I have a journal, too, but I don't write in it with any regularity. I write in a daily journal, but it's only a record of what I did that day. My feelings go in the real journal. But mine will never be publish caliber. I've told my wife to burn my journals without reading them. I wouldn't want to inflict my ramblings on anyone.

I've been busy this summer with construction and maintenance of our house and barn and garage. Some friends kept their two horses on our property for ten years, but they sold one and moved the other one where there are some horses to keep him company. I let them leave their hay in the barn, but they finally got it all out of the barn last week. So, I cleaned it out and started putting my own stuff in it. My ladders, lawn equipment, hoses and whatever else needs a home. It's nice finally to have the use of that space.

Doing all of that moving reminded me of your struggle, moving to a new state, away from your friends, your condo and your doctors. You didn't have the energy to unpack even one box. Reading what you've been posting leads me to believe that you've been able to get settled in, with your cat and dog motivating you to return to living. It's encouraging to see the progress you've made.

Making it up to 6 seemed like an unreachable goal once I made it to 5. I think it took a couple of years, and I remember how happy my therapist was when I gave him the news. I know that 6 isn't wonderful, but I'm adjusting to living on the 6th floor. And the view from here isn't so bad.

I think that you would find a pretty good market for your book. Have you thought of a title? I'd put my name on your list of interested buyers.

Jim

@lisalucier, @amberpep, Happiness......is my middle name lately. I love my home on the river. I am happy feeding and petting my chipmunks and watching the migratory birds. The predators, eagles, hawks, and owls, are always around. At any time and from many places within Adam's Landing, I am happy just to swing in the swing or walk along the meditation trail. I am so happy with my activities, my friends, my volunteer work. There are games to be played, mother nature to watch and to top it off, a few pain-free minutes. May you all have happiness and the causes of happiness. Chris

@jimhd Hi Jim, I was so happy (my kind of happy) when I read your post! No jumping up and down, no laughing, but our kind of joy. There IS someone out there whose 6 is a 9. Someone who understands! My psychiatrist thought that I had probably been dysthymic all my life and it was only when I was around 32 that I plunged downward. My husband and I finished building our dream house and a week later I graduated from college. My return to school as an adult had been a long time coming, as I had dealt with feelings of inadequacy. It took awhile for me to be able to step foot on that campus. So 2 big things happened within a week. Then my husband got laid off. I spiraled downward and I’ve never been the same. I get tired of fighting sometime, but I never stop. Anyway, thank you for writing to Abby! You have touched me!!!!.........Karen

@karen00

It's good to know that we aren't alone in the journey. My psychiatrist said much the same to me, that I'd probably been dysthymic all my life. I had just chalked it up to it being my personality. Interesting.

Jim

Lately I've tried to do a little volunteer in helping people practice speaking English for a couple of hours at my local library. It forces me out of the house plus engage with other people. It's an idea and maybe a starting point for those of us who have a tendency to isolate like I do.

@marjou Welcome to Mayo Connect. We are a diverse group of people who share our stories and experiences. Sharing about stepping out of what is comfortable, and helping others at the same time, sounds like a win-win situation for everyone! English can be quite a challenge to learn, there are many ways to pronounce the same written word. I bet the people who you work with are happy to have someone care about them like this! What else have you chosen to do that helps you not isolate so much?
Ginger

In order not to lose my Spanish I also go to a Spanish Conversation group at the local library. All is a challenge, but at least try.

That's a good idea, @marjou, to go to a Spanish conversation group. I at one time was fairly proficient, but I could use something like that to keep my skills fresh. As it is, I just yak in Spanish to my 7th grader who is just starting Spanish. He doesn't catch much of what I'm saying, understandably.

Do you have a bipolar disorder diagnosis, marjou? If so, what kinds of symptoms do you experience?

Yes, have been diagnosed as bipolar with symptoms ranging from being extremely happy or very depressed (no middle balance). Lately it has been more depression.

Hello @tjprather and welcome to Mayo Connect!

I am glad that you posted about Bipolar. We do have a conversation about Bi-Polar that you might find helpful. Here is the link to that conversation, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/bi-polar-issues/?utm_campaign=search. I would like you to meet some others who post in our mental health group. Please meet @marjou, @jimhd, @gingerw, @karen00, @amberpep, @georgette12.

I look forward to getting to know you better. If you are comfortable sharing more, are you posting about bi-polar because of personal diagnosis or one of a family member or friend? If you are inquiring for yourself what treatments have been tried so far?