Assisted Living and DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)

I'll weigh in here, as we had this issue with my mother-in-law many years ago. She too entered the nursing home voluntarily while battling glioblastoma, but was totally aware of her situation. She wanted to be full code, and signed papers to that effect. I was handling her finances, but was not her medical power of attorney, and a finance person asked me the same. Needless to say, I was appalled. I reported the situation to the facility administrator, who reprimanded her and apologized to me. 10 years ago, my daughter was the RN Case Manager in the assisted living facility where my mother resided. Their policy was to address this matter only during a case conference with the resident and their legally named representatives. And management and administration were the only ones authorized to do it. In your situation, knowing your Dad's wishes as you do, I would report the matter to the Administrator or Director of the facility.
Sue

@sueinmn, Thank you! I didn't want to say anything if it was just me overreacting. I really needed confirmation that she had over stepped her bounds before bringing it to the attention of the Administrator.

If you follow any of the Discussions where I am active, you will see me say, over and over again, that we must be our own best advocates. That applies when we are caring for and/or assisting loved ones as well. I wish you good luck in your discussion, let us know how it goes!
Sue

@fatherscaregiver- Good morning. I'm wondering if you asked his nurse why she suggested this?

@sueinmn, I agree completely. I learned years ago I had to advocate for my dad especially when he was not able to speak up. His transplant team knows me well (good, bad and ugly!) They know if I think there is an issue I will not stop until I get resolutions.

@merpreb, She stated with his medical conditions she felt it would be best if I changed him to DNR. I was really shocked when she said it, as it wasn't a conversation I expected to be having with her and certainly not at that moment. I just said he wants to be a full code. It was after I was off the phone with her I really started to think about why she was giving me her opinion on my dad's decision and if it was appropriate for her to say it.

@fatherscaregiver- Unless she has the authority to make such opinions to you she was not being appropriate. I agree. I was just asking if she was specific. You are right, and since your dad has made his decision and signed the paperwork unless his physical situation has deteriorated such that his doctor recommends it and you have talked with your dad things have to stay the same. I also think that you do need to talk to the administrator. She might be doing this with all her patients.

Good for you! Also, since your dad knows his physical conditions shouldn't that decision have been discussed already? He has only been there for 6 months, right?

Run, do not walk to the head administrator and tell them they have a dumb, stupid uncaring nurse that needs to be removed from caring for your dad.
She over stepped her boundaries.
Can you put him into another facility?

Hello Sue,
I think you and I have a mouth, and know how to use it.
I’ve had to speak up multiple times in medical settings, even to doctors who have no common sense.

@funcountess- I have to laugh! I am not shy at all either speaking up to my new PCP or other doctors, technicians, etc. I had to tell my new PCP that I would not contact a doctor that he recommended for a minor thing. His eyebrows went over his forehead. He's been in practice less time than I have had cancer.