Any ideas on how to handle new onset dementia in women’s group?

Posted by Rubyslippers @triciaot, 3 days ago

We have a newly organized women’s group initiated by a woman showing signs of early dementia. This group came together on NextDoor social media and we don’t know much about each other yet. Sally, not her real name, who first posted interest in getting women together with a very good response, is now emailing some of us with inconsistent comments and requests. She wants access to the tech administration of the group, saying she is in charge, but it’s clear she does not know how to use the site correctly.
Sally posted once that the “admins” aren’t answering her. I believe she is getting confused and not making malicious statements. I just received, and answered, three emails from her. In one I attached PDFs on how to use the Nextdoor site.
I overheard one member say that Sally had said there were problems with organizing the group. But the group is working very well. If this were someone that was just a difficult personality, it could be handled like we all deal with difficult people in social situations. But I think there are strong signs of early dementia, so it’s different.

A few of us are making an effort now to find out more about her family or other supports. She has said she recently moved here after retiring. Sally seems to be living alone, no financial issues.

What I need help with, is how to deflect her comments in front of other members? Over time, I believe many of the other women will realize her confusion but we don’t get together that often. People get upset if they think someone is not being treated fairly, causing problems in the group - when they don’t really understand what is going on.

As caregivers, you may have some experience in how others have responded to your loved one when they make a negative erroneous comment in front of others? Can I be kind, but still let others know that we really aren’t bad people? A bit stumped here.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Rubyslippers, the more deeply kind you are to this woman, the more easily others will recognize the situation, You of all people can engender a group of gentle, emotionally generous women, I would never correct her misimpressions, but express appreciation for her ideas. If you can put her in charge of something where the success or failure is unimportant, it could be helpful. Clearly this person wants to be a vital part of your group.
I'd give her a title and ask if she would be willing to some easy task. I don't think you should worry about anyone getting the wrong impression. I just don't think they will.

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