~ Angry: Can't Get to My Therapist ~

Hi, @amberpep -- sounds like you are seeing changes in your reactions and are trying to figure out what to make of it, especially anger.

I think that some of our fellow Mayo Clinic Connect members may have some input on the anger, like @texas1950, @welshcarer, @parus, @mlbaier, @regshello, @hopeful33250, @contentandwell and @jimhd.

@amberpep-- can you summarize here in this thread what prompted your anger and why it seemed so different for you to react that way?

@amberpep

Hi, Abby. Only ten days until the big day. I get the anger. It's an inborn response mechanism that should be healthy, but can be hard to control. I take assurance in the fact that even Jesus expressed his anger at the defiling of the temple.

I'm not sure what you're angry about exactly. You surely have a number of things to be angry or emotional about. You've survived things that have sent many people to the grave, and you're still adjusting to your move, another thing that a lot of people have been very unhappy about. My therapist would tell me to think about what's causing the anger, and ask myself if the anger is helping me. Sometimes I hate it when he says that to me. Yesterday I was having a dip in the depression, and though it was good to talk about it, the dip continued.

Oh my, there are so many ways to deal with the anger and express it. We experience anger for a nearly infinite number of reasons. For me, the anger can be a problem, especially when it comes to expressing it to the person whose words or actions have made me angry. For me, that's the really challenging part.

Since you wrote yesterday, have you seen any change in your anger? Have you found a way to work through it? One approach that's offered is to accept the feelings, and not ignore or deny it, but let it be there. If you're like me, the tendency is to dwell on it too long. At some point, we begin the next step of letting it go and releasing ourselves from its grip. Hopefully sooner than later.

As always, it's good to hear from you.

Jim

@amberpep
Hi Abby:

I think of anger like nuclear energy - it can provide lighting for an entire city or it can destroy an entire city if it becomes a bomb. It is all what you do with anger. MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) was started by a group of mothers who lost children to drunk drivers. Their anger at what happened to their children created this organization that has helped to effect drunk driving in the U.S. through new laws of zero tolerance.

Anger is not a bad thing, in and of itself, it all depends on what you do with it.

Teresa

Hi all .... sure, I can tell you exactly what made me angry. I couldn't go up to MD to see my therapist this week because my car was in the shop being repaired from the accident I had. He "understood" but then said it might be good if I find someone closer to where I live so I wouldn't have to make the trip up to MD every other week. Immediately, that little kid inside me said, "there you go .... tossed out again, thrown aside, too busy for me" ..... just like my parents and my now X-husband. I've been with this therapist for 12 years and he's seem me through many crisis, and, for the first time in my life I have learned that there are a few men I could trust ...... something I never believed before. He would joke about my "special little group" of men I trusted which included my son, my sil, and my therapist. Maybe he'd no different than the rest .... well, all done with you ..... I'm too busy, my schedule is packed, so out you go! So reminiscent of childhood and marriage. The first day I was devastated. By the next day I was furious, and just seething with anger. Now, I've tempered down a bit, but believe me .... when I get in there in Jan. we are having a direct discussion about this. What a horrible time to do this - Christmas, when that's one of my worst times of the year. But, I guess he's too "packed." He's the one who said a long time ago that we were going to dismantle "good Suzy" (which shocked me because I thought that was the way I was to behave), and let her evil twin out once in awhile. Well, he just may be sorry he ever said that. After 12 years with one therapist, with everything we've gone through and covered, if he thinks I'm starting over with someone else, then he's nutsier than I am!
abby

I am so with you with the anger. Every time I feel tossed out or abandoned I get really angry and throw a hysterical crying jag just like a child. I am seeing a therapist who is doing some PTSD on me for those feelings from childhood. Today my sister told me she was going to another financial advisor instead of me after all I did for her. It was all I could do to hold it until she left. I don't trust men at all. I was never sexually abused but got anywhere in the workforce because of my looks. I am depressed now that I am older and feel I won't be accepted because of age decline. So I am angry at being taken for my body instead of brains, losing clients, getting older and acting this way each time this happens.

For years now I have had these angry outbursts-never around others. I become outraged for no apparent reason and I do not relish these tantrums. It is my understanding that this is PTSD. It is uncomfortable. I will be doing something and feeling okay and out of nowhere the anger strikes. I don't know what to do with this unreasonable irritability. I do know I stay home. In one of those angry modes and want it to go away. I start destroying things.
Where I am today. No motivation to be productive in any way. Anger is exhausting.

@parus Yes, it is exhausting - no doubt about that.

I hope that you find a way out of it.

Teresa

Hi @mlbaier. I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I really hope you find some relief soon. If interested, take a look at the PTSD information Mayo has out on the web- https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20355973 Under coping and support I read....Take care of yourself. Get enough rest, eat a healthy diet, exercise and take time to relax. Try to reduce or avoid caffeine and nicotine, which can worsen anxiety

You've found the right place to connect with others here.

Since this post is about anger-I am highly irritated by that badge reminder popping up every time I change what I am viewing. Reminders and rewards are nice I suppose-for some. Deal with thus or leave the site-I will deal with it!!

Hi Parus, I, too, am frustrated by the message that pops up about badges. It isn't behaving the way it should. When you click close, it is supposed to go away and never come back. We thought it would be a good way to let members know about new features on the site. I have submitted a request to the IT team to remove it. I think everyone has seen it enough!

Apologies for the irritant. We won't use this tool again until we can be sure that it'll behave as it should. Thanks for your patience.